


Attend To Me

by Desade



Series: It All Started In Stuttgart [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, But no, Dom/sub Undertones, Fingerfucking, Heartbreak, I had to go and hurt my Feels in the process, M/M, Oral Sex, This was just supposed to be some lighthearted suit porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2017-12-18 06:58:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desade/pseuds/Desade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from a prompt I pulled off the FrostHawk tag on Tumblr.  It was supposed to be a "Clint has a suit fetish and oh hey, this is what happened in Stuttgart," story.</p><p>It ended up being so much worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Happens in Stuttgart...

“Attend to me, Agent Barton.”

That fucking _voice_.  Low and melodious and with a smoky undertone that doesn’t give a hint as to exactly how batshit insane the speaker truly is. 

I know, though. 

I’ve seen firsthand what he can do; what he _likes_ to do.  The way his eyes glitter when he steals a person’s will.  The pleased little smile that curves his mouth when he fills your head with _his_ wants and _his_ needs, shoving the whole of you into a distant corner of your mind to rant and rail and, ultimately, not be able to do a thing to resist. 

I’ve watched him jam that spear through a mercenary’s throat when his usefulness was outlived; and another just…disappeared after a few whispered words and a pass of that slim, pale hand.  That sort of freaked me out a little.  But through it all, I stood at his side.  Ready and willing for whatever came next.  His obedient little thrall.

And that galls me to no fucking end, because I am not in any way, shape or form obedient.  I tend to push the line; question every order; and I’ve managed to piss off every boss I’ve ever had. 

But not this time. 

No.  This time, I’ve been remade into an automaton.  So eager to follow every command; so quick to act at a moment’s notice.  Well…on the outside, at least.  But inside?  I’m still here. 

I just take up less space now, and have very little control over what my body does.

“Agent,” he snaps.  “To me.  NOW!”

And just like that my legs are carrying me into the bedroom of the hotel suite we’re currently occupying; double-timing it to make up for the slight delay.  My eyes cut to Loki as soon as I round the corner, and immediately I’m cursing up a blue streak; struggling to keep myself from going to him.  Because the Asgardian armor he usually sports is long gone, and that lean and dangerous motherfucker is wearing a suit. 

And it’s a gorgeous one, of course. 

A shudder runs through me then, and I’m slightly shocked to realize that the motion made its’ way outside of my small prison to affect my outer shell.

Loki’s eyes narrow as he notices, and he cocks his head in an attitude of curiosity.  “What was that, my Hawk,” he questions.

 _‘Oh, nothing,’_ I want to scream.  _‘You just managed to accidentally press my biggest fucking kink button.’_

Instead I hear myself say, “I’m not quite sure, sir.”

And then the god is stalking toward me and I’m watching the way he moves, and the cut of the fabric as it moves with him, and I feel a moan rising because it’s been so long; too long, really and if he wasn’t a murderous, crazy alien I would SO be all ove…no.  I have to stop thinking right now.  Because he’s going to do that trick where he touches my forehead and looks into my mind and I can’t, I won’t let him see how much I’d like to…oh. 

Too late.

Quick as a snake, Loki places his fingertips to my temple, and I can feel him pulling and sifting my thoughts, searching for the cause of my trembling.  It only took a moment for him to find the reason, and then his eyes lift to meet mine.  I expect, at best, a disdainful sneer.  At worst a look of triumph.  But what I got instead was completely unexpected. 

Surprise floods those poison green eyes, and he pushes deeper into my thoughts, going further back, to before he remade me.  He finds my first impression of him; my thought of _‘Well if **that’s** what’s on the other side of the door, maybe we should have opened it sooner.’_  

My immediate assessment of his face and form laid bare for him to examine, and just like that, he knew everything I thought in those few short seconds before it all went south.

And I can’t stop thinking about him in that _fucking suit_ , so of course he wades through those thoughts as well.

Goddamn it.

“Why, Agent Barton,” he chides gently as he finally pulls his hand away from my temple.  “I had no idea you found me so… _enticing_.”

“Hard not to, sir.  Especially now,” I hear myself reply, and I want to wring my own neck, even though I’m only confirming what he already knows.  Not too often you’re stabbed in the back by yourself…and it’s a weird fucking feeling; one that I don’t really recommend.

Loki gives me a thoughtful look and immediately an icy wave of apprehension washes over me.  I think I know where this is going, and I don’t like it one little bit.  But there’s not a whole hell of a lot I can _do_ about it if he decides he wants to test my limits, now is there?  He’s stronger, faster, in command of skills I could never hope to equal.  If he wants to take me, force me, make me follow through on my desires…well, I can’t stand against that.  Even if I was a physical match for him, the thrall would never allow it.

He backs off a little then, smoothing the lapels of the suit and straightening his tie, even though it was already perfectly straight.  The bastard shines a cocky grin my way, knowing the effect his motions are having upon me, and I want to clench my teeth and ignore the rising heat in my belly…but I can’t.  It really has been too long, and I’m helpless in the face of this.

“The truth, if you will, my Hawk,” Loki murmurs as he fiddles with the shirt cuffs that peek just the slightest bit from beneath the sleeves of his jacket.  “If you were free to do as you wish; if I gave you the opportunity to carry out your deepest desires…what would you do?”

“I’d put an end to you and shake all this off like a bad dream,” I ground out.

Loki’s mouth turns down in a small moue even as his eyes flash dangerously in response to my words.

“Perhaps I need to rephrase my question,” he hissed.  “Were you free to act upon the base thoughts I have seen in your mind; free to visit all your pent up lust upon me.  What then?”

“I’d fuck you until you couldn’t see straight,” I answered.  “Until you were boneless and shaking and begging me to stop.  And then I’d fuck you some more.”

There was a nearly imperceptible widening of Loki’s eyes, and he was quiet for a long moment, frozen in place as he mulled over my words.

“Well, then, Agent Barton.  I believe I have a proposition for you.”

I waited for him to continue, alternating between screaming at myself for even considering this and hoping against hope that the fallen god would hold true to his word and allow me out to play.  I’d always been able to compartmentalize; to look at things logically, and in this situation I knew there would be no way I could take Loki down bare-handed.  Hell, I wasn’t even sure I’d make it out from under his thrall _alive_.  So if I was going to be given one last opportunity at pleasure, then I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to enjoy it fully.

“I will free you,” Loki said quietly.  “For a time, and with the one exception being that I continue to control your more…murderous instincts.  In all other ways you will be restored.”  He paused there, his heated gaze crawling over me before he continued.  “I will not pretend that I do not hold a measure of curiosity to see if you can deliver on all you have just promised.  So tell me, Agent.  Is this an agreeable bargain?”

“Yes, sir,” I answered.  “Very agreeable.”

“You may think me a monster,” the god whispered.  “But I do have my limits.  I will not force myself upon you, nor will I order you to give me that which I know you crave.  I ask again for the truth.  Is this what you want?  Do you want me, my Hawk?”

The quiet admission surprised me.  Subjugating an entire race didn’t seem to bother Loki in the least.  And he obviously had no problem outright murdering people.  But he drew the line at rape?  Strange how the mind works.

“You already know I do,” I replied.

“Then have me,” Loki said, and placed his hand over my heart. 

The shock that hit me at his touch spread an electric fire through my frame, seeping into my limbs and jangling every nerve ending.  And as it faded away, I realized I was out of my cage, inhabiting my entire body and fully in command for the first time in god knew how long. 

I surged forward, grabbing Loki by the tie and dragging him to me, crashing my mouth into his.  He growled deep in his throat, and caught my lower lip between his teeth before he slicked his tongue across my own.  I pushed myself tighter against him and was a little surprised and a lot smug to feel that the god was already fully hard and straining.

I guess it had been too long for Loki, as well.

Those pale, slender hands rose to grip my hair, angling my mouth to just under his ear, and he turned his head slightly, a shuddering breath washing hotly across my flesh as he murmured, “You may use your teeth, if you so desire.”

I licked across that silken skin, feeling the frantic thud of his pulse under my tongue before I answered in a low rumble, “’Course I can.  You set me free, remember?  I can do whatever the fuck I want.”  And with that I bit down harshly, thrilling to the strangled cry the god voiced.

“Insolent,” he gasped.  “Perhaps I should have retained a measure of control over that tongue as well.”

“Then you’d miss out on all the things this tongue can do,” I moaned as I rolled my hips forward, grinding against his hidden length.

“You have a point,” Loki grudgingly admitted while biting back a groan at the friction of my motions.

My hands dropped to grasp his ass, kneading his flesh and pulling him all the tighter against me as I searched his hooded gaze.  I wanted to climb inside his skin, taste him, touch him, fuck him until he pleaded for mercy.  My pulse was hot and fast and thrumming, bringing a flush up into my cheeks as I stared down a god.

I felt one hand slip from my hair and brush over my temple, and I immediately jerked my head to the side.  “None of that,” I growled.  “No poking around in my head while we’re in the middle of this.”

Loki’s brows drew together and he said, “I simply wished to know the thought that made your eyes grow so very bright.”

“If I want you to know, I’ll tell you,” I stated firmly.  “And if I don’t?  Well, that’s just too goddamn bad.”

There was a momentary spark of ire in that poison green stare, and then Loki dropped his hand to curl loosely around the side of my throat.  “As you wish,” he sighed.

I gave a curt nod and plucked at his jacket.  “Take this off.  As much as it gets me going to see you in this suit, I think I’m gonna like what’s underneath even more.”

That sly grin resurfaced, and the god quickly complied.  Strange how good he was at following orders, considering up until now I’d only seen him handing them out.  The tie and shirt quickly followed, and I suddenly found myself with a half naked god in my grasp.  I leaned back, keeping contact from the waist down and gave an appreciative hum at the lean, lightly muscled frame before me.  All that flawless, pale skin at my disposal, just waiting to be marked.

“Better get to work,” I muttered.

“Whatever are you talk…oh,” Loki’s voice trailed away into a hitching gasp as I bent my head, sinking my teeth into his shoulder.  His hips bucked against mine, and he let out a low, shuddering whimper as I sucked an angry bruise around the teeth marks I’d gifted him.

“Why am I not surprised that you’re into pain?”

“Contrast, my Hawk,” Loki moaned as I dragged my teeth across one peaked nipple.  “You cannot know pleasure until you know pain.  There can be no light without dark; no good unless there is evil.”

“If you say so,” I murmured, licking over the hard line of his sternum and then back up to that wicked mouth to claim it as my own.

There was still a small part of my mind screaming at me that this was the enemy; this was my target and it was my _duty_ to take him out before his plans could be seen through.  But that indignant little voice was getting harder to hear as my need flared brighter. 

Then Loki’s hand found its’ way to my groin, and that voice shut right the fuck up.

He outlined my arousal with his fingertips before palming and squeezing my cock almost to the point of pain.  I gasped as my forehead dropped to his shoulder and I tilted my hips into his touch.  The god gave what could only be described as a pleased purr, and then that voice; that _fucking_ voice was back at my ear.

“I had suspected that your skill with a bow was not the _only_ thing impressive about you, Agent Barton.  And how lovely it is to be proven correct.”

It struck me as more than a little odd to think that when he wasn’t busy plotting world domination, Loki had been wondering over the size of my dick.  But I wasn’t about to mention it.  Especially now that his hands were working my belt open and diving inside to wrap around the thick flesh hidden within.  I gritted my teeth instead, giving a hissing moan as he pulled me free from my pants.

His eyes slid down to drink in the sight of my hard, needy cock caged between his slim fingers, and he breathed, “Oh.  Perhaps I should amend that to _very_ correct.”

I felt that smugness again; that familiar smirk twitching the corner of my mouth as the realization hit that I had just managed to impress this creature of magic and menace.  I had a certified god/alien/whatever the fuck he actually was practically drooling over my cock.

It was the weirdest fucking ego boost ever.  And I’ve had some weird ones, so that’s saying a lot.

“You like what you see,” I asked as I rocked my hips forward, pressing myself more firmly into his grasp.

Loki nodded, eyes still downcast as he stroked his hand slowly over my throbbing length.

I slipped my fingers up into his hair and fisted tightly at his nape, giving a sharp jerk and dragging his face up to meet mine.  “Show me how much,” I growled.

A shudder wrung through the god, and he hit his knees in front of me, darting forward and licking across the head of my cock.  My head tipped back and I gave a ragged shout to the ceiling, as much from the burning heat of his tongue as the thrill of having him kneeling before me.  My _boss_ ; the being that fancied himself my _master_ …on his knees like a common whore and using that controlling mouth to pleasure _me_.

It was almost enough to make me come right then and there.

But no.  I’d made a promise, and I was true to my word.  There was no goddamn way I was letting myself spill anywhere other than deep in Loki’s belly while he screamed for more. 

My cock gave a hard twitch as I imagined that throaty voice lifted in bliss; that cultured tone gone ragged and blown to hell with need.  It was something I hadn’t even known I’d wanted, but now I was hungry for it; desperate to have those cries echoing in my ears as I was sheathed in his tight heat.

I dropped my gaze to find Loki staring up at me, eyes narrowed in a contemplative manner.  He was wondering what I was thinking again; unused to being denied a link straight into my head.  I tightened my grip in his hair, and a low moan floated from between his suddenly slack lips, warm breath washing over my aching flesh.

“Curiosity killed the cat,” I murmured, sliding the tip of my length against that mouth.

“Then it is an exceedingly good thing I am not a feline,” he replied before his tongue ran out again to lap just under the crown, pulling an answering moan from my throat.

I rolled my hips then, dipping just the head of my cock into him before pulling back.  A shudder ran through me, so I did it again.  And again.  Fucking that wicked, demanding mouth in shallow measures as he watched me with lust hazed eyes.  The wet and the heat and the greedy suction of his mouth was unreal, sending such a harsh spike of arousal through me that I felt like the top of my head was about to blow off. 

But this teasing depth wasn’t enough.  I needed more from the kneeling god.

My free hand cupped under his chin, holding him firmly in place as I pushed deeper.  Bumping against the back of his throat, I growled out, “Swallow.  Let’s see how much you can take.”

He did; and then I was bottoming out, completely encased in that pulsing heat as his muscles rolled and pulled around me.  And still he held my gaze, urging me on with nothing more than a burning look. 

I panted, amazed at the waves of pleasure that radiated through me.  The baseline of physical bliss had been knocked sideways by the baggage between us.  The dynamic of hate and contempt and screwed up attraction making this act so much _more_ than it usually was…and I didn’t quite know how to handle that. 

So I stuffed the feeling down, deciding to reexamine it later…or never, and simply focus on the want.

I caught motion from the corner of my vision.  Loki’s hands were pressing and stroking in his lap; small, needy whimpers leaking around the thick flesh filling his throat, and fuck if my arousal didn’t flare all the higher at that sight.

“Go on,” I prodded.  “Touch yourself.  Lemme see what you have for me.”

Quick as a flash, his pants were gone; magicked off god knows where, and those slim fingers were wrapped around his cock, slowly stroking in time to the motion of my hips. 

Handy trick, that.

I drank in the sight of him; long and thick and already leaking.  He ran his thumb over the head, smearing his precome into a glistening streak, and I moaned, thrusting a little harder; fucking myself a little deeper into that hungry throat.

“You’re awful worked up over just sucking me off,” I smirked.  “I’m sorta flattered.”

That green gaze flashed dangerously up at me, and I felt the scrape of his teeth against my sensitive flesh for the first time; a subtle warning to remember my place. 

Too bad warnings don’t usually work with me.

“So now I need to figure out what exactly it was that got you going,” I mused.  “Has it been too long since you indulged?  Or maybe it’s just that it’s…me.”

The snarl Loki voiced at my insinuation was impressive, but it missed the mark as a threat and instead confirmed what I’d already worked out in my mind.  I pulled free from his eager mouth and dropped to my knees, bringing us to eye level.

“It _is_ , isn’t it?  It’s all me,” I murmured, leaning in to lick across that scowling mouth before I nipped at his lip.  “You _want_ me; have from the start.”

“What would _I_ want with the likes of you, Agent Barton,” he spat.  “Your kind is so far beneath…”

His words broke off into a strangled gasp as I circled my fist around his cock and gave a long, slow pull.

“This,” I breathed, leaning in until my lips moved against the shell of his ear, dragging a violent shudder from the god.  “This is what you want from the ‘likes of me’.  My hands on you.  My body against yours.  It wasn’t simple curiosity that made you wonder about the size of my package.  It was because you _wanted_ me, Loki.”

The tremor that ran through him when I used his given name was impressive, and I hid my grin against his throat. 

“S-silence, my Hawk,” he panted as he thrust up into my grasp, his voice equal parts ire and lust.  I’d caught him out; hit my target, and he wasn’t too happy about that. 

“Nope,” I answered quickly, my hand moving faster over his length as I mouthed along his shoulder.  “I’m free, remember?  Free to say, and _do_ , what I want.  And right now?  What I _want_ is to fuck you into a drooling mess.”

And there was what I needed; a deep, throaty moan that shot liquid fire into my belly and made me tremble with excitement.  I couldn’t wait to see what other noises I could wring out of him, once I had him pinned beneath me.

“Do I have your approval, then… _boss_ ,” I murmured, putting deliberate emphasis on the last word, my grin widening as he voiced a quiet whine.  God or not, Loki’s buttons were _very_ well defined, and I planned on pressing as many as I could in the time I had.

“Yes,” he gasped, that cultured, haughty voice gone ragged.  “You have my _utmost_ approval, agent Barton.”

“Good,” I growled, releasing my grip on his cock and pushing to my feet to glare down at the kneeling god.  “Up on the bed; now.”  Those poison green eyes flashed annoyance at my commanding attitude, but the speed with which he complied told me that he wasn’t totally against being ordered around.  Funny how many dictators and despots turned submissive behind closed doors.  The iron fist needed a firm hand, it seemed.

I held my ground as Loki crossed the room to the large bed and climbed into the center, turning his expectant gaze to me.  Only then did I start to remove my clothing; slowly, thrilling to the hungry way he tracked my every movement.  Working open the latches on my vest one by one, I asked, “So how many times have you imagined this happening?  More than a few, I’d bet.”

Loki’s eyes snapped up to meet mine, and they narrowed just the slightest bit.  He remained stubbornly silent, and I stilled my hands.

“I could stop, you know,” I said softly.

“No,” he replied quickly, a note of desperation evident in his voice.

“Then tell me.  There’s no shame in fantasizing.”  I gave the god a wolfish grin before adding, “Hell, had you turned out to be a friendly, I’m sure I would’ve done the same.”

Loki’s brow knit as his mouth turned down into a slight scowl.  “Do not mock me, agent Barton.  I will not suffer such lightly.”

“I’m _not_ ,” I replied.  “You poked around in my head enough to know I’m telling the truth.  Maybe that’s something _you_ should try,” I finished, giving him a pointed look while plucking at the still fastened latches on my vest.

“You are proving yourself most insufferable,” the god growled.

“And yet you just keep taking what I dish out,” I returned, dropping my hand to tease my fingertips over my aching cock.  “Because you know the payoff is gonna be _so_ worth it.”

Loki’s eyes followed my motions as I stroked over silken skin, pressing even, white teeth into his lower lip as I let out a quiet moan.  “C’mon, _sir_ ,” I rumbled.  “Tell me.  I wanna hear what you think about me.  Not fair that you know everything that’s in my head, and I don’t know a goddamn thing about what’s in _yours_.”

A look of hesitancy rose in the god’s eyes, and I knew I was winning.  He just needed one final push.

“Tell me, Loki,” I purred.  “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.  _Whatever_ you want.”

Those green eyes clenched shut for a moment, brow furrowing.  When they cracked back open there was an unidentifiable emotion darkening his gaze and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

“You are a…distraction, agent Barton,” he began in a halting manner.  “One which I tried, and failed, to ignore.  From the moment I laid eyes on you, you had my attention.  First as a threat; then as a thrall.  And now?  Something altogether new.”  He paused then, weighing his words.

“Go on,” I prodded, lifting my hands back to the fastenings on my vest and thumbing them open one after the next.  “Tell me; how many times _have_ you thought about this?”  I felt his gaze following each small movement, and his breath hitched slightly as I pulled down the zipper and shrugged the heavy material to the floor.

“Many,” he breathed, his hand sliding into his lap to stroke lightly as his eyes roamed over my exposed chest.  “More than I care to admit.”

I felt that cocky grin tugging at the corner of my mouth again.  Man, monster or god…it was still a thrill to be that wanted; to inspire someone else to such lust that they built entire fantasies around you.

“And what _exactly_ did you imagine happening,” I asked as I toed off my boots. 

“It would perhaps take less time to detail all I did _not_ imagine,” the god murmured as he watched my hands drop to my belt.

“Oh really,” I mused, my eyes narrowing slightly.  “That sounds…promising.  Maybe you should just tell me what made you come the hardest.”  Loki’s eyes snapped up to meet mine and I continued in a low growl, “Because you _did_ have to make yourself come, right?  Tucked away in some dark corner while you pretended that the hands wrapped around your cock were mine?”

Loki’s throat worked, and he swallowed hard before he graced me with a slight nod.  I was amused, and a little gratified to see a light blush staining his cheeks, and my cock gave an insistent throb at the mental image that rose behind my eyes. 

“That’s really fucking hot, you know,” I rumbled as I pulled my belt free and dropped it to the carpet.  “The idea of you getting yourself off; getting so worked up to thoughts of me that you had to make yourself come?  I like that.”  And suddenly I was twice as eager to ruin this proud, needy creature; this goddamn enigma that blushed like a little girl over the thought of my cock, but could kill without hesitation or emotion. 

Shoving my pants down, I kicked them away and stalked toward the bed, noting the way the fallen god’s eyes grew hooded and wanting the closer I came.  I felt the arousal coil tighter in my belly at that predatory gaze, and as I crawled onto the bed, Loki turned to his hands and knees, arching his back invitingly.

I leaned down over him, licking a long stripe up his spine before grasping his wrist and manhandling him to his back.  A shocked intake of breath, and then he was looking up at me, a questioning tilt to his brows as I glared down at him.

“None of that,” I growled.  “I wanna see your face while I take you apart.  Wanna see those eyes roll back when you come, and see that mouth drop open when I make you scream.”  Leaning down, I nipped the shell of his ear before rasping out, “And you’re _gonna_ scream for me, Loki.  Loud and long.  You’re gonna rip that pretty voice to shreds on the sound of my name.”

 “Yes,” the god whispered, his hips twitching up from the bed in unconscious need.

I sealed my mouth over Loki’s, tasting deeply as my hand dropped down to circle around his insistent cock.  He cried out and I swallowed the sound, stealing the panting breaths from his very lungs as I stroked harshly.

“You like how I touch you,” I asked against his lips, nipping lightly as he gasped at the motions of my hand. 

He bucked into my fist once, twice, a third time before he murmured, “Very much so, my Hawk.  The…reality is far better than my imagination could supply.”

“And I haven’t even started yet,” I purred, firming my grip and twisting my hand over the sensitive head. 

Loki arched under me, eyes fluttering as he voiced another of those moans that settled comfortably in my gut, adding more fuel to the fire within.  I teased a stroking pass over the crown of his cock, feeling the wet slide of his arousal, and I lifted my hand to my mouth, holding his hooded gaze as I ran out my tongue to lick my palm clean.  I groaned at the taste of him; sharp and salty and somehow _feral_.  It prompted me to drag my thumb through the slowly welling moisture and trace the god’s lower lip before claiming that hungry mouth.  Loki returned the kiss frantically, the taste of his come between us, and a shudder wracked my frame at the quiet growl that rose in his throat.

“More,” was all he said.

“Gladly,” I returned, and slid my hand between us to press against his opening. 

I moved my fingers in slow circles, exerting a steady pressure that was enough to tease, but not penetrate.  Those slim hips arched up before Loki began to move with me, his body twisting and writhing in a sinuous dance that made my mouth run dry.  I’d never seen such a blatant display of need before, and my mind screamed at me to just climb between those spread thighs and _take_ and _rut_ and _fill_ _him_ **_up_** until he was overflowing with my come.

But I knew that if I gave in to that primal urge, I’d be lucky to last five minutes.  And that was goddamn unacceptable.

“Fuck,” I breathed as I ground my aching cock against the god’s hip, fighting to control the beast inside that snarled its’ displeasure at my resistance.

“I-I need…” Loki gasped, his voice ragged.  “I…- _need_ -…”

“What do you need, Loki,” I murmured, dipping just the tip of my middle finger into his tight heat.  “Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

His head ground back into the mattress and he keened even as his hips rolled down, trying to force me deeper into his body.  I anticipated his motions; moving ahead of him to keep the depth consistent, and he sobbed in frustration.  A shiver ran down my spine at the sound; hungry to hear it again.

“Nu-uh,” I chided.  “You have to tell me.  No cheating.  No taking.  You have to _ask_ for it.”

Lust-glazed green eyes glared up at me and he panted, “I _need_ you inside me.  Fill me, agent Barton.  Now.”

“That doesn’t sound like asking,” I mused, stilling my questing fingers.  “That sounds a little too much like an order for my tastes.”

“Damn you,” Loki hissed, his body beginning to tremble beneath me.  “You want this just as much as I do.  You cannot deny that!”

“Not denying anything,” I said, spearing him with a level gaze.  “Just waiting for you to ask.”

He snarled something in guttural language and raised up to his elbows, lips skinned back, teeth bared. 

I kept the same impassive expression and quirked an eyebrow at him.  “I’m a sniper, boss.  We’re sorta known for our patience.  Ten bucks says I can outlast you.”

Loki collapsed back to the mattress, bringing the heels of his hands to cover his eyes even as he loosed a frustrated groan to the ceiling.  His body was thrumming with need, tight and pulsing around my finger, his cock impossibly hard and leaking against his lower belly. 

I burned to give him everything he wanted. 

But not.  Until.  He _asked_.

I pushed just the slightest bit deeper, giving the smallest twist to my finger, and that proved enough to break the god.

“…please…” he whimpered softly.

“What was that,” I questioned while giving a tiny stroking motion to his inner walls.  “Couldn’t quite hear you.”

“ _Please_ ,” Loki wailed, his hands sliding from his face to fist in his own hair, gripping tightly as he shuddered.  “Please, my Hawk.  Fill me; use me; _fuck me_!  Deliver me from this torment and give me all that you promised!”

“That’s wasn’t so hard, now was it,” I soothed. 

He sobbed in response, and with that I sank two fingers deep into his body.

The spasm that ran through him was impressive in its’ intensity, and he hissed in a deep breath before it caught in his throat.  That poison green gaze snapped up to meet my own, and as Loki’s hips rocked down, I pulled back, prompting a needy whine from him at the friction within.  I pumped my fingers slowly, twisting and stroking, seeking that spot inside that would reduce the god to a gibbering wreck. 

Then I grazed against it, and Loki gifted me with a ragged scream.  I grinned and zeroed in on my target, pressing firmly as he pitched and shook, stammered and wailed.  And I drank in his cries, my cock twitching in interest to the sound of my wanton god.

“More,” I asked; a formality, really, since I was already certain of the answer.

“Yes,” he moaned, and then paused before adding a small, “Please?”

“Good boy,” I growled.  “You’re learning.”

That glittering gaze stayed fixed on me, a strange mix of anger, lust and need darkening Loki’s eyes.  As I pressed a third finger into him, he muttered softly beneath his breath, and suddenly the harsh friction was lessened.

“What was that,” I questioned.

“Simply something to ease the way for what comes next,” he panted, arching against the stretch.

“Neat trick,” I murmured, driving my fingers deep and twisting to once more assail his spot.  Loki bucked against me, his hands sliding up my arms to lace around my nape, drawing me down into a greedy, violent kiss.  I bit down on his lip until he squealed, and when I pulled back his mouth was painted red, the taste of copper making the beast inside sit up and voice an interested growl.

Loki’s tongue slicked out, wiping clean the crimson beads welling from his lip as he shuddered.  “Now, my Hawk,” he rasped out.  “Please, now?  Take me?”

“Hell,” I groaned.  “If I’d known bleeding you would cause your manners to kick in, that would’ve been the first goddamn thing I did.”

“ _Please_ ,” he whimpered, giving me such a desperate look I almost felt guilty for teasing as much as I had. 

Almost.

“Well.  Since you asked _so_ nicely…”

I gave one final twisting stroke to that secret spot buried inside, and Loki twitched around me.  Then it was my turn to whimper as I imagined slowly sinking into that tight, wet heat and holding deep while he pulsed around my length.  I ground my aching cock against the god’s hip before pulling my fingers free and moving to kneel between his splayed thighs. 

Loki stared up at me, minute tremors shaking his lean frame, and I felt that familiar heat pooling in my groin at the debauched picture he painted, spread across the rumpled bed.  I’d brought him to the edge of ruination; teased and tormented him until his pride had splintered and he’d _begged_ me to fuck him.  I’d wrung sobs, moans and whines from the throat of a God.

And I wasn’t done yet.  Not by a long shot.

I traced my fingertips over his rigid cock, from base to tip, before dipping them into the pool of precome gathered on Loki’s flat belly. 

“Look at that,” I whispered.  “Look how fucking worked up you are.  Right on the edge and ready to break.  And all because of me.”

He nodded slowly, unable to refute a single word, and I lifted my fingers to my mouth, sucking them clean before I took myself in hand. 

“I’m not gonna touch your cock,” I growled as I languidly stroked myself.  “But you’re gonna come for me anyway.  Remember what I said before?  Boneless and shaking and begging me to stop?  And even then, Loki.  I.  Won’t.  Stop.”

Leaning down over the shuddering god, I nudged the tip of my length against his entrance, teasing as his breath hitched.  The way his back arched, and his legs parted further just fanned the flames of my arousal higher and I felt my pulse thundering in response.  Then he canted his hips up, and speared me with a pleading look before whimpering out.

“Fuck me, please…I –need- you to fuck me.  _Please, Clint_?!”

I froze then, utterly and completely as my brain locked on to that one little word.  Just five letters, but it broke me.

He said my fucking _name_.

In that voice.

Begging for me.

Goddamn it.

Those poison green eyes looked up at me in triumph, taking in my suddenly slack-mouthed expression.  And even though the smug bastard knew exactly what he’d just done to me, I didn’t care.  All that mattered was the want; the need Loki was displaying.  The way he said my name told me I wasn’t just another tool to him, a means to an end.  I was not ‘agent Barton’, or the ‘Hawk’, or an ‘insolent beast’…I was _me_ , he _saw_ me, _recognized_ me and wanted _me_.

Seems I wasn’t the only one that had been watching for buttons that needed pushing.

“Oh, fuck you,” I growled as a fresh banner of heat unfurled in my belly.  “That’s not even fair.”

Loki gave a pleased hum even as his eyes narrowed, and he murmured, “And when did we agree to what constitutes fairness?”

“Guess we didn’t,” I rumbled and held his piercing gaze as I pressed down, sinking into that clenching heat.  I watched his face, mesmerized at the way his brows tilted; his mouth dropped open, and then, what I had been waiting for…his eyes rolled back in his head as I bottomed out, fully sheathed within him. 

“But _that_ seems to have evened things out a little,” I panted, pulling back slowly before snapping my hips forward.

Loki keened, tossing his head back to grind into the mattress as I steadily rocked into him.  My teeth were gritted against the urge to rut deep and hard; to not stop until we both snapped under the blinding pleasure.  I was going to take him apart, even if I had to deny my own need in the process. 

Only after I broke him would I indulge myself.

And I had to shove down the mental image that came at that thought.  The idea of this wanton creature sobbing and shuddering beneath me as I snarled out my lust drew the coil of tension just a little too tightly around my spine.  I couldn’t afford to let my resolve weaken, so I banished that thought and instead focused on wringing more of those needy cries from the fallen god.

I continued my slow pace; letting myself feel every motion; every prickle of friction as I drove deep.  Loki writhed under me, hips twisting frantically as he begged with his body for rougher treatment.  But no.  I was committed to this lazy torture, even though I was equally as desperate.

“This what you wanted,” I breathed into his ear.  “This what you dreamed about?”

“Harder,” he gasped in response, his hands coming up to clutch at my shoulders.

I leaned in closer, nuzzling against Loki’s throat before whispering, “…no.”

I pulled back to once more stare down at him, feeling a spike of pleasure in the pleading gaze he fixed me with.  I had him on the edge of madness; the sensations I was gifting him just this side of not enough, and the beast inside gave a pleased growl.  I hadn’t anticipated this level of submission in Loki. 

Hell, if I was being truthful, I hadn’t expected _any_ submission out of him.  But here he was, begging for more instead of just taking what he so easily could. 

And that brought a strange feeling bubbling up into my chest.  It was warm, and a little soft, and to be honest it made me feel a…

I slammed a mental door on that thought. 

Honesty was something I prized; something I tried to practice diligently, at least with myself.  But not this time.  Nope.  My head was already twisted up enough when it came to Loki, and I’d be damned if I’d allow it to get any worse.  I wouldn’t let myself think there was anything more to this than what it was; mutual lust.  We were just two very fucked up people that happened to be fucking.

_Nothing.  Else._

I leaned in closer, grinding my hips against Loki’s and trapping his insistent cock between our bellies.  Those glittering green eyes widened just the smallest bit, and his tongue slicked across his lower lip before he gave another of those stuttering moans I so loved.  I changed the angle of my thrusts, giving his neglected length the friction he craved while pressing more firmly against that spot deep inside, and those moans became frantic cries.  I hissed in a strained breath as Loki’s fingers dug into my shoulders hard enough to bruise.

“Oh, you like that, huh,” I panted.  “Right _there_?”  I punctuated my words with a sharp snap of my hips, hitting my target dead on, and ripping a wail from Loki’s throat.

“Yes,” he chanted raggedly.  “Yes, yes, yes…- _just_ \- there.  _Please_ …again?”

“It’s so _fucking_ hot when you beg,” I murmured, and thrust deep once more, twisting my body to grind against his twitching length. 

Loki’s body clamped down and he arched beneath me, mouth dropping open in a breathy, hitching scream as he skated on the edge of release.  The tremors running through him became more violent as approached his end, and I eased off slightly, earning another frustrated sob from the needy god.

“… _please_ …” he rasped, that cultured voice blown to hell with lust.  “Anything.  I’ll give you anything you want.  Just…let me – _come_ -.”

“Oh, is that all it takes,” I mused, my hips rolling slowly, belly pressed tight to his twitching cock.  Let you come and I can have _anything_?”

The god’s teeth drove into his lower lip, reopening the wound I’d gifted him, and my eyes tracked the claret drop that slowly ran down from the corner of his mouth.  He nodded quickly, whispering, “Anything at all.  Just… _please_?”

For a moment I let my mind run with that idea, but I realized just as quickly that anything promised in the midst of this most likely wouldn’t be upheld.  This was his desperation speaking; I’d pushed and pushed; teasing him until he cracked.  Of _course_ he’d promise the moon to get what he wanted.

“As much as I’d like to take advantage of that offer, I really don’t think you’re prepared to give me what I want most,” I replied in a strained voice. 

Confusion clouded Loki’s eyes for a split second, only to be replaced with a dawning realization.  “Oh,” was all he said, his tone almost contrite.

“Doesn’t matter,” I ground out, nudging his thighs further apart.  “You’re gonna get what you want anyway.  Told you I was gonna fuck you until you couldn’t see straight, and _I_ keep my word.”

Those green eyes gazed steadily up at me, and I told myself that it wasn’t remorse I saw simmering within.  It was just…lust.  Need.  Nothing more.

Then I surged forward, and set about bringing the fallen god to screams.

Immediately, that lissome body tightened around me, and Loki’s hands fell from my shoulders to fist in the sheets next to his writhing hips.  A trembling moan rose in his chest and quickly spiraled up into a throaty wail as I drove deep.  I ground into him, pressing my cock into his spot with each motion, reveling in the needy, wanton noises he was making.  And each thrust pushed him closer to the end.

I could feel the heat rising in my own belly, threatening to overflow, and I clenched my teeth to hold back the tide of arousal.  I was _not_ going to break first.  I was _not_ going to come until I had this broken creature howling out his own release beneath me.  But the way Loki was moving was going to make that a very close race, indeed.

He pitched and shifted, arched and trembled, caught in a sinuous dance of lust that was goddamn mesmerizing.  I kept my gaze fixed on his face, trying desperately to will away the tension coiling tighter and tighter around my spine.  And just when I thought I might lose this battle, I snapped my hips brutally forward one final time and he broke.

With a piercing, guttural scream, Loki was coming.

I felt his body clamp down around me almost to the point of pain, and I hissed in a sharp breath in response.  Wet heat flared between us as his cock twitched and throbbed in rhythm with his inner walls, and still I fucked myself into him, growling low in the back of my throat.  That initial scream dwindled away into a sobbing, gasping litany of nonsense words, and his hands scrabbled at my waist, tugging me tighter against his body.

Rolling dazed eyes up at me, the god pleaded, “Now, _please_ , Clint!  Come inside me.  Gift me with your heat.”

I shook, caught in the needy gaze, and suddenly I felt that internal tension draw infinitely tighter before it snapped, and my orgasm was upon me.  Grinding as deep as I could, I gasped out in a tight voice, “Fucking… _god_ damn it.  C-coming, Loki.  You wanted it…now fucking _take_ it!”  And with a final throaty snarl, I was emptying myself deep into his belly.

One slim leg hooked around my upper thighs, holding me tight as the god milked me for every drop.  I panted raggedly, trembling at every roll of his hips, every shuddering whimper as I pressed against his spot.  And finally, as my body began to calm, I sagged forward, rolling a bit to the side so as not to pin the spent god beneath me.

He kept his leg around me, still maintaining the connection between us, and as I attempted to regain my breath, one of Loki’s long, slender hands hesitantly slid through my hair; stroking gently, almost petting.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and he returned my glare steadily, a thoughtful cast to his gaze.  He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could make a sound all the awareness in those green eyes drained away and the god froze.  I blinked at him, confused, and then called his name softly. 

No response.

Suddenly I remembered where I had seen this before.  When Loki’s…partners…wanted to speak with him, the god’s consciousness went somewhere else for a time, and when he came back he was always a bit more frantic.  The feeling of dread that had started to rise in my belly tripled, and I waited to see what would happen next.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki had been just about to speak; to offer a bargain of sorts to the man at his side.  He was unsure the response he would have gotten, especially given the circumstances, but the god could not deny the fact that he’d developed a bit of a soft spot for the insolent archer.  He wished to know more of him; beyond the quick wit; the steel cord of pride; and the skill with which he’d made the god’s body sing.

So he had weighed his words, while holding that wary steel blue gaze, and, opening his mouth to speak…he found himself before the Other.

“And _this_ is how you spend your time preparing for battle,” the Other hissed.  “Feeding your base desires while our army languishes?”

“I do not see how it is any business of yours what I do in the service of my own needs,” Loki sniffed disdainfully.  “You shall have your war…in due time.”

“ _He_ is displeased with the speed at which you are delivering upon your promises, Asgardian.”

“Then let him take action instead of sending you bearing empty threats,” the god roared, his patience at an end, and wishing to be back in the comfort of his bed, his Hawk at his side.

“And in what ways are my threats empty,” the Other purred.  “In fact, now that I have been made aware of your little…plaything…then we need not threaten _you_ at all.  There is much motivation to be had in keeping a favored pet safe, is there not?”

Loki buried the spike of fear he felt at the Other’s words, giving him a cool, detached look to hide the bitter disappointment that was railing in his head.  “You are mistaken in that, I am afraid,” the god heard himself say in a surprisingly steady voice.  “Agent Barton was no more than a temporary distraction.  Nothing beyond that.”

“And yet you freed him from the thrall,” The Other mused. 

“Certain…aspects…of our encounter demanded it,” the god answered smoothly.  “I was just about to reassert my ownership when you called me away.”

There was silence between the two for a time, and Loki felt the dubious gaze of the Other crawling over him as he weighed the god’s answer. 

“See that you do,” he finally growled.  “If you want to avoid having your pretty little bird broken, that is.”

Loki bowed his head mockingly, the thought ringing through his head that he must now turn his Hawk against him in order to safeguard the mortal.  But truly, what had he expected?  That agent Barton would happily accept a place at his side?  No…that was never meant to be, and the god would do well to not entertain such foolish flights of fancy. 

He had always stood alone; that was simply his place.

“Of course,” Loki answered in a soft hiss.  “Now, if you would be so _kind_ as to return me?  I have plans to carry out.”

The Other growled and with a wave of his hand, Loki found himself once more nestled in a soft bed, the warmth of his Hawk against him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You okay,” I asked slowly when Loki jerked back to life.

“Never better,” he murmured quietly, dropping his gaze before pushing himself upright and sliding from the bed. 

I stared after him as he crossed the room.  A languid twitch of his fingers had him fully dressed once more, and when he turned to face me he had that goddamn scepter cradled in his hands.

“No,” I breathed, forcing myself not to shrink back in fear.

“We had an agreement,” the god intoned, his voice like steel.  “I would free you ‘for a time’, is that not what was said?”

“You don’t have to do this,” I replied, hating the pleading tone that caused my voice to waver.  “You could just…let me go.”

He smiled at me then, and it was a strange expression; as if he were in pain and trying desperately to hide it.  His hands tightened on the scepter until his knuckles were bloodless, and he growled, “You do not hold the slightest idea what I _have_ to do, Agent Barton.  Surely even you can see that I cannot simply free you.”

“But…why not,” I asked.  “You…when we were…you were _different_.  You’re not a monster, Loki.  Let me help you.”

He recoiled slightly at my offer, eyes widening in what I mistook for hope.  But then he stalked toward me, teeth bared, and he snarled, “Enough of this sentiment.  I do not _need_ your brand of help!  I do not _need_ anyone!”

“You’re lying to yourself again,” I whispered, feeling the defeat course through me to closer he came.

“On your feet, Agent,” he barked. 

I climbed off the bed and squared my shoulders, lifting my gaze to meet his eyes.  The madness that swirled within seemed tempered by something; a sadness that wasn’t there earlier, but I pushed down any compassion I might have had for him.

“Get on with it, then,” I growled.  “But one last thing, before you do this.”

“Yes,” he asked softly, his face impassive.

“You can put me back under, and I’ll be your obedient little lap dog again.  But there’s a part of me that won’t forget this.  Not ever.  And someday you’re going to have to answer for what you’re about to do, Loki.  Either to me, or to yourself.”

His gaze slid away from mine then, and I finished, “Gauging by the man I got to know over the last hour?  I think you’ll be the one to ask yourself the uncomfortable questions.”

“Silence,” he hissed, still unable to meet my eyes, and the scepter swung up, moving toward my chest.

“At least have the balls to look me in the eye while you...”

And the cold metal point stung.

And the mist descended on me.

And I turned my azure gaze up to my god, asking in a calm voice, “What do you need, boss?”

But inside I was screaming.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. The Inbetween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Natasha breaks the thrall, Clint has a lot to think about.

When I came back to myself on the Helicarrier; bound like an animal with Natasha hovering at my side, all I could feel was anger. 

Anger that I had been reduced to this; anger that I had been used as an instrument of destruction; that I had killed my own on the orders of another.  It burned through me, bright and clean and all encompassing, leaving no room for anything else. 

Certainly nothing approaching _pain_ , because pain was weakness…and I was not _weak_.  Hurt had no place within me.  It denoted that I _cared_ what happened to Loki; that I _cared_ he had left me behind now that I had outlived my usefulness. 

Pain was _not_ an option.

So I buried that deep and embraced the anger.  I nurtured it as I regained my balance; fed it as I suited up to join the battle.  And as it grew into a raging inferno, I tempered what remained of my heart in those flames. 

Anger was always the safest emotion; the easiest and most familiar one.  I knew how to be angry.  I could work with that; use it to my advantage.  Anger gave me the distance I needed.  It focused me.  Calmed me.  I was never so Zen as when I was consumed with anger.

When I caught my first glimpse of Loki in Manhattan it was that Zen that kept me from crashing the Quinjet directly into Stark tower.  It was that focused rage that reminded me I would be sacrificing more than just myself in a bid to take the fallen god down. 

But it was a goddamn close call.

My immediate instincts; the little voice in my head that hadn’t stopped screaming since he put me back under, it all urged me to end him, _end him now_ , before he could _kill_ anyone else, before he could _hurt_ me again.

The second glimpse of Loki came with a smug feeling of vengeance.  “I got ‘im,” was what I said, and I felt a smile crawl across my face.  It didn’t quite make its’ way to my eyes, but that was okay.  Everything was about to be okay.

I loosed the arrow, and ignored the odd twinge I felt in my gut as it sliced through the air.  It was gonna hit; no question.  And if by some fluke it didn’t kill him outright…well, I had a backup plan.

One that Loki apparently knew nothing about, judging by the smirk he sent my way after he plucked the goddamn thing from flight.

And then it was all flames and billowing smoke and a low, thudding explosion that flung him from the sky, directly back into Stark tower.  When the Hulk threw himself after Loki, I turned away; content in the knowledge that it was finally… _finally_ …over.

But I didn’t feel any better.  Not one fucking bit.

Cap scrambled us all, leading the way into Stark’s building, and there we found Loki.  He was battered and bruised, but mostly in one piece.  And he looked so _small_ , huddled on the stairs.  I dropped to one knee and drew back my bowstring, keeping my face carefully impassive as he tried to be flippant; pretending that he wasn’t bowed and broken before us.  But I could see it in his eyes; he knew he was defeated.  The war had been lost, and he was our prisoner.

And I _still_ didn’t feel any better.

Thor stepped forward and yanked Loki up by his collar, and then he clamped one large hand around the nape of his brother’s neck before marching him off.  I held my position, but slowly lowered my bow, focusing on my breathing, trying to steady the surge of adrenaline that was thrumming through my veins.

“You okay,” Nat asked in a low tone.

“Never better,” I answered woodenly, and then my stomach lurched as I realized I’d repeated Loki’s words to me just before I had been enthralled that second time.  Immediately I was back in that moment, feeling the disappointment and the betrayal when I realized what was about to happen. 

And I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.

It fucking _hurt_.

 

-x-x-x-x- 

 

The Helicarrier was the last place I wanted to be after everything was said and done, but Fury insisted the entire team return for debriefing.  It wasn’t so much the looks I got from the surviving crew, or the visible damage to the flying fortress; damage I had either personally inflicted or had ordered done.  It wasn’t any of that that made my skin crawl with a nagging, low level anxiety.

It was the fact that Loki was here, too. 

He was tucked away somewhere, trussed and waiting to be dragged back to Asgard to face justice for his crimes.  And while a part of me was doing goddamn backflips over that bit of knowledge, there was another part, a small, secret part that was terrified that I might have to face Loki again.  That I might break down and demand answers from him.  And if I lost control; if I let on to what had happened between us?  That would be very bad, indeed.

So I steeled my spine and held on firmly to my mask of indifference.  I listened closely as everyone spoke their piece, told my own when asked to do so, albeit with some careful editing, and breathed an internal sigh of relief when Fury dismissed us.

It wasn’t until I stepped into the hallway and directly into the path of Loki’s phalanx of guards that it occurred to me that Fury had orchestrated this as a test; one I couldn’t afford to fail.  Not if I wanted to continue on with SHIELD; not if I wanted to avoid being retired with a bullet behind one ear.  There was no other logical reason to be parading the captured god past the command center. 

Hell, the detention level was on the _bottom_ deck of this boat, so if Fury was going to claim a cell transfer, then Loki’s detail had gotten woefully lost on the way.

And goddamn it if that poison green gaze didn’t snap directly to me. 

Even though I was surrounded by the rest of the Avengers, and he was ringed by an entire platoon of guards, that focus was on me and me alone. 

I didn’t miss how his eyes widened just the slightest bit at first sight of me, and the way his gait faltered.  I was also immediately thankful for the heavy muzzle that covered the lower half of the god’s face, keeping that lying tongue firmly in check.

I felt the weight of Fury’s single eye, studying my reaction as I was faced with my former ‘master’.

So in that split second, I shut down every emotion I had except for my all encompassing anger and I let a smirk rise to tug at the corner of my mouth.  I crossed my arms over my chest, tucking my hands under to hide the slight tremors I could feel, and I watched as Loki was marched closer.

“Gotta say that the muzzle is a good look,” I commented dryly as he drew abreast of me.    “Not very _kingly_ , but at least it’ll keep you from causing any more trouble with that mouth of yours.”

I expected a glare; perhaps even a snarl from behind that draconian slab of metal.  But what I got instead was so much worse.  This close I could see the fear in his eyes, and I felt that weird twinge in my gut again, same as when I loosed the arrow that brought him down.  Loki’s shoulders slumped and he finally dropped my gaze to stare dully at the floor before him. 

I forced my smirk to bloom into a grin, and I looked to Fury, who was still watching me intently.  I quirked an eyebrow, and he gave a slight nod in return, which I took as my cue to cut out of there.  Turning, I stalked away, telling myself _not_ to look back, certain that if I did, I would find the broken god staring after me.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

It was four days later that everything had settled enough to allow Thor to return to Asgard. 

The council had howled for Loki’s blood; claiming that they held dominion over the ‘war criminal’, and therefore should mete out his punishment.  Fury had to remind them that attempting to hold Loki would be taken as a sign of aggression against Asgard, and since that realm seemed to be populated by _gods_ , maybe pissing them off wasn’t in Earth’s best interest.

And still the jackasses tried to figure out a way to keep him.

It was only after Thor threatened to rain destruction down on a scale that would make the Chitauri invasion look like a children’s scuffle that the council relented.  Reluctantly. 

I stayed out of sight for most of that battle.  In fact, I pretty much holed up in my bunk for the entire four days, only emerging for meals and my all too frequent interrogations by various shrinks.  Seems a guy can’t get brainwashed by a mythological god and his Pokey Stick of Doom without earning a lifetime pass to Freud-Land.

During those few days, I puzzled over what was in my head.  These…fucked up feelings that seemed to surge up from out of nowhere and lay me low.  I heard the term Stockholm Syndrome a _lot_ in the beginning, but I quickly ruled that out.  I didn’t _sympathize_ with Loki.  It was more than that. 

Tasha tried to talk to me about it, and I shut her out.  Hell, even _Cap_ dropped by.  But I had nothing to say.  Not to my team, and certainly not to those goddamned doctors.

I just thought, a lot.

Twice I caught myself walking through the corridors, seemingly without aim.  But in the back of my head I _knew_ I was wending closer and closer to the detention level.  And when that thought became too overwhelming to ignore; when my nerves were screaming that he was close; just down a few more levels or around that next bend, I would force myself to head elsewhere.  To pretend that the gym or the cafeteria had been my destination all along.

I couldn’t very well just pop by and visit my former captor, now could I?  Not with Fury watching, and every SHIELD shrink within a hundred mile radius just frothing at the mouth to poke around in my head. 

I’d had enough of that to last me a lifetime, thanks.

Four days later, as I readied myself to serve as a witness to the departure of the being that had officially turned me inside out, I was no goddamned closer to understanding _what_ I was feeling, much less _why_.  I spent a long time in front of the mirror that day, staring myself in the eye, searching for even the smallest fleck of that unearthly blue that had tainted my world. 

But all I saw was my familiar blue-gray gaze. 

And I can’t quite explain why I felt a twinge of disappointment in that, but it made my stomach clench. 

When I stepped away from the mirror there was a fresh spider web of cracks marring the silvery surface and blood on my knuckles.  As I left the room I snagged a pair of sunglasses off my dresser and quickly slipped them on. 

I was going to face Loki one final time, and I’d be damned if I was going to give him the satisfaction of looking me in the eye. 

 -x-x-x-x-

We came together in Central Park.  I strolled in, Natasha at my side and my heart wedged somewhere behind my tonsils.  Thor was on my right, guiding his brother toward the departure point by one arm.  I kept my gaze fixed forward until Loki jerked away from the Thunderer’s grasp and covered the remaining few feet under his own power.  He was still trying to be stoic; pretending that he was unaffected by his failure; unconcerned about being dragged home to face daddy.

I didn’t buy it for one second.

And my treacherous mind was replaying that too short amount of time we had spent together in Stuttgart; reminding me of how Loki had been when it was just the two of us.  Still haughty.  Still half crazed.  But not a monster.  Not by a long shot.  He’s been almost vulnerable by the end, and for the thousandth time since then, I wondered what he’d been about to say to me before his master called him away.

Selvig and Banner readied the Tesseract for transport as the rest of us stood nearby.  It was then that Loki turned to face me, and the expression in his eyes nearly broke me.  It was the way his eyes flicked up to seek mine; the disappointment that clouded that piercing gaze when he met the barrier of my sunglasses.  I was frozen.  Unsure of what may happen next.  And then Natasha leaned in and whispered to me, “Don’t let him rattle you, Clint.”

And I forced my mouth to curve into my trademark, cocky grin.  Even though, on the inside, I was still screaming.

Those dark brows drew together, and Loki dropped his eyes and turned away.  A moment later Thor held out the transport tube to the dark god, he grasped it without hesitation, and then, in a blaze of light, they were gone.

I stared after them, head tilted back and the sun on my face as I muttered quietly, “Good riddance…”

But the words tasted of lies, and still… _still_ …I didn’t feel any better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't leave this story alone, it seems. People were clamoring for a sequel, and while this doesn't deliver the happy ending everyone wanted, I do believe this is just another step toward that eventually occurring. Thanks for reading, and please, feel free to offer feedback. I live for that.


	3. Thunderstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been six months since the invasion, and Clint is still struggling. Will the return of Thor help or hinder his recovery?

It was six months before Thor came back. 

Six months before we faced a threat that we couldn’t handle without him; but he was true to his word and returned when needed.  Just when we thought all was lost; there he was, in a swirl of crimson cape with a thunderclap on his heels. 

I stole quick glances at him during the fight, telling myself that the grim set of his mouth, and the flat anger in his eyes was all part and parcel of battle.  But even after we had won; after the back-slaps and congratulations had been passed around, still the god was subdued; changed from the man we’d known before.

Leave it to Stark to cut straight to the chase.

“Seems like you’ve got a bee in your bonnet, Goldilocks.  Things a little rough on the homefront?  How’s that crazy not-brother of yours?”

Thor briefly closed his eyes, and I saw the way his knuckles whitened as his grip on Mjolnir firmed.  I think I was the only one that realized exactly how close the Asgardian came to putting Tony through the nearest wall.  But he reined in his anger, and when that electric blue gaze came to rest on the billionaire, Thor just looked…tired.

“I do not know how Loki fares,” Thor replied tersely.  “He is far and away, serving out his punishment for the destruction he visited upon Midgard.”

“Really,” Stark exclaimed.  “And here I thought daddy would just pitch him into the deepest dungeon you guys had and call it a day.  But he…what?  Banished him?”

“Nothing quite so permanent,” Thor returned in a quiet voice.  “Loki has the chance to return someday.  Provided he learns the lessons set before him and attempts to…change.”

“So he’ll be back two weeks from never,” Tony snorted.

“Enough with that,” Cap barked, shooting Tony a venomous look as he stepped forward.  “Remember; that’s his _brother_ you’re talking about.  A little compassion wouldn’t kill you.”

“No, but _Loki_ almost killed me,” Stark shot back before turning his attention once more to Thor.  “Sorry, but you know it’s true.  I tend to take offense when people throw me out of windows.”

Thor nodded wearily and raised one hand in a placating gesture.  “Please.  There is no need to try and shelter me.  Your anger is well deserved and in no way misplaced.  Loki caused much damage, in a myriad of ways.  He wronged so many in his short time here.”  The god’s gaze roamed over each of us then, before coming to rest on me.  “You, most of all, Clint Barton,” he finished, his tone weighed down with sadness.

‘ _Oh fuck_ ,’ I thought, and suddenly it felt like my veins were full of ice water.  I didn’t know what Thor knew; how much Loki had told him; or if he was simply referring to the time I spent under his brother’s thrall. 

What I did know was that I very much disliked how everyone’s eyes were now on me, waiting for my response.

‘Yeah, well, I would think all the people he killed might have been wronged a little worse than I was,” I snapped, praying that my voice remain steady.

“Perhaps,” Thor mused.  “But while they paid the ultimate price, they are now at peace.  Can you say the same, archer?  Have you found peace?”

“I…am _so_ not having this conversation right now,” I growled. 

With that, I shouldered my bow, turned, and stalked back to the Quinjet. 

Natasha was the first to board the aircraft, and she strapped herself into the co-pilot’s chair, holding her silence all the while.  I could feel the curiosity coming off her in waves.  We had never really talked about my time in Loki’s service.  I think she knew me well enough to know that if I wanted to talk about it, I would.  And if I didn’t, then there was nothing she could do to pull the information from me. 

It seemed that Thor’s comments had negated that knowledge, though, and she turned to me, asking cautiously, “Clint?”

“Don’t,” I ground out, my gaze directed firmly forward, somewhere in the middle distance ahead of the aircraft.  “Just…don’t.”

She sighed then and started flipping switches, readying the bird for flight.  I knew that this wasn’t over; just delayed.  Once Tasha got an idea in her head, it was next to impossible to shake it loose until she had all the answers.  And those were answers I was unwilling to give.  To anyone.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Shortly after the battle of Manhattan, Fury had insisted that we all continue to bunk at Stark Tower.  He had prattled on about bonding and learning to work as a cohesive unit.  I’d nodded and agreed, but something within me had refused to let the lease expire on my own apartment.  And as soon as our debriefing was over, I tore out of SHIELD headquarters and went straight to my old digs.  I couldn’t shake the memory of how the rest of the Avengers had looked at me after Thor’s little speech, and I’d be damned if I was going back to the Tower so they could prod and poke and stare at me.

Ninety minutes and four beers later, there was a knock at the door. 

I shut my eyes and let my head fall back against the cushions of the couch.  I certainly wasn’t expecting anyone, and there wasn’t a goddamn person on this planet that I _wanted_ to talk to right now.  So whoever was on the other side of that door could just stay there, as far as I was concerned.

A moment later and the knock became a pounding that rattled the door in its frame and confirmed my fears about who might have come calling.

“Clint Barton!  I would speak with you,” Thor bellowed from the hallway.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands, hoping against hope that he would just give up; go away; catch a ride on the rainbow road, or whatever the hell it was back to Asgard and _leave me alone_. 

But no.  Thor was not going to be deterred.

“Grant me entrance, archer, or Mjolnir will.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” I muttered, and heaved myself up from the couch.  “Just hang on a minute,” I shouted as I made my way across the room.  “There’s no need for all that.”

I unlocked the door and swung it open, leveling a glare at the god.  “What,” I spat, taking in his grim expression.

“I would speak with you,” he stated.

“Yeah, you said that already.  So speak.”

“Will you not extend the courtesy of inviting me into your chambers,” he huffed.  “I do not think this is the proper setting for all that needs to be said.”

“Goddamn it,” I snarled.  “I don’t have anything to _say_ to you.  But you’re obviously not going to go away until you’ve said your piece, so fine.  Come in.” 

I cursed my way into the kitchen, grabbing another beer and twisting the cap off before flinging it in the general direction of the garbage can.  ‘ _Two points_ ,’ I thought absently as it dropped neatly inside.  When I turned, Thor filled the doorway that led back into the living room, watching me with a strange, sad expression. 

That rattled me a little.  Not sure _why_ , but it did. 

I dropped my gaze, pretending to suddenly be very interested in reading the label on the bottle clenched in my white knuckled fist.  “So, what,” I questioned.  “What was so important that you had to hunt me down?”

“I am not your enemy, Hawk,” Thor rumbled.

“You’re not my _friend_ , either,” I bit out.  “And how did you manage to find me, anyway?  Only one other person knows about this place, and they’d never talk.”

“Heimdall,” he replied.  “The Watcher Between Worlds sees all.”

“Oh yeah?  Can he see me right now?”

“Of course,” Thor answered, a measure of confusion apparent in his voice.

I tilted my head back, taking a long, slow pull from the bottle in my right hand, while extending the middle finger of my left toward the ceiling. 

Thor frowned at me, saying, “I do not know the meaning of this gesture, but I can gather it is an insolent one.”

“That’s right,” I answered flippantly.  “You’re not the first to brand me insolent.” 

And then my asshole brain replayed the moment I’d first sunk my teeth into Loki’s throat, and he’d gasped out the same word.  I took another long drink to steel myself.  I was not nearly as drunk as I needed to be for this particular conversation.

“So are you gonna talk, or what?”

Thor’s shoulders slumped and he heaved a deep sigh.  “I did not think this would be easy, but you are proving to be most insufferable.  I had hoped you would not be quite so…combative.”

“Combative,” I choked, slamming my beer down on the counter nearly hard enough to shatter the bottle.  “You think _this_ is combative?!  You show up and flash those goddamn puppy dog eyes at me while calling me out in front of my entire _team_ , and then whine about me being _angry_?  You should count yourself lucky I didn’t punch you square in the mouth for pulling that bullshit!”

The god’s brows drew together and muttered, “I-I did not mean to offend.  I simply...”

“You simply called my state of mind into question,” I cut in, my voice low and rough, but quickly growing in volume.  “Six fucking months of insisting that I’m _fine_.  Six months of forced therapy and being under a magnifying glass.  _Six months_ of working at convincing my team that they can trust me…and you wiped all of that out with your little speech!  What the _fuck_ was that about, anyway?!”

Thor’s face fell as I raged at him, comprehension dawning in his eyes as my words sank in. 

“My apologies, Clint Barton,” he intoned.  “That was never my intention.  I have wanted to speak with you for some time now; to see how you are faring in the aftermath of what Loki wrought.”

“ _Why_ ,” I demanded.  “Why _me_?  What is it about me that’s so goddamn special?  Yeah, I’m the only Avenger your brother pulled his mind control trick on, but really…I’m just one of many that he kidnapped.  Are you planning on having this cozy little chat with each and every one of them, too?”

“No,” Thor answered wearily.  “None of the others were as close to Loki as you were.”

I froze in the midst of reaching for the bottle, that familiar shiver of dread running down my spine as I asked carefully, “Who told you that?”

“Loki himself named you as his second in command,” the god replied.  “He said you were indispensible to him.”

“Not by choice,” I grumbled, before draining the rest of my beer in three long swallows. 

“I understand that,” Thor soothed.  “But the fact remains that you were his right hand, and may be able to answer the questions I need to ask.”

“Questions about what, exactly?”

Thor sighed again and ran one hand over the nape of his neck before lifting his troubled gaze to meet mine.  “The All-Father granted me one boon before he cast Loki out.  He gave me three days and nights with my brother, in which I attempted to discern _why_ he chose the course of action he did.  The first day he would not speak.  The second, he ranted and cursed.  And on the third?  On the third the words flowed from him like a pent up river.  Much of what he said was unintelligible to me.  But I came away from our time together with more questions than answers.”

I held the empty beer bottle tightly, attempting to quell the tremors in my hands as Thor spoke.  It was obvious to me that Loki’s confessions to his brother had troubled the Thunderer, and I was terrified to ask _exactly_ what had been said.

“I can’t promise that I know any more than you do,” I said slowly.  “But I’ll answer what I can.”

“That is all I ask,” Thor replied, the relief evident in his voice.  “I know that this is not…comfortable for you.”

“Understatement of the century, big guy,” I snorted.

“You are the only one that can perhaps verify Loki’s claims.”

“God of Lies, right,” I asked.  “I guess you’d sorta _have_ to doubt anything he says.”

“Sadly, yes,” Thor agreed.  “Loki will say anything to save his own skin.  As much as I want to believe him, there is a small voice in my head that insists I should not do anything of the sort.”

I gave a curt nod before tossing the empty beer bottle in the trash and fishing another from the fridge.  I held out an extra to Thor and he took it gingerly, murmuring his thanks.  I waited as he took his first sip, and then gave a tiny smile at the expansive grimace that rose on his face.

“Not exactly what you’re used to, I’m sure,” I chuckled.

“No,” Thor answered.  “This is much more bitter than the mead you find on Asgard, but it is welcomed, nonetheless.”

“Alright,” I huffed.  “Enough stalling.  Let’s get down to it.  What do you want to know?”

Thor set aside the bottle and gave me a piercing look.  “Loki mentioned that he was not working alone in his plans to rule Midgard.  That there was someone ‘above’ him.  He refused to admit he was being used or controlled, but his phrasing made it very clear to me that he was not entirely himself for most of his time in this realm.” 

“There were times that he sort of…went away,” I said, choosing my words carefully.  “He would freeze up, and his eyes would glaze over.  When he would come back to himself, he’d always be a little more frantic; kinda angry.  Like he just got his ass chewed out.  He mentioned someone he called the ‘Other’ a few times.”

“Yes,” Thor breathed.  “That was the name he gave me, as well.  He also told of one above the Other.  One which had no name beyond ‘He’ and ‘Him’.  It is the unnamed one’s wrath that Loki fears.”

I thought back, rifling through the memories of my time under Loki’s thrall, before seizing onto one just prior to our arrival in Stuttgart.  Loki had come back to himself in a rage, muttering under his breath as he paced.

“Yeah,” I murmured.  “I seem to remember him saying, ‘ _He_ is not to be denied,’ and I didn’t get the feeling that he was talking about the Other.”

“And these…comrades of his; they could reach into Loki’s mind?  Pull him away to communicate with him?  They could do this at any time?”

“Seems that way,” I answered.  “We’d be in the middle of something; didn’t matter what, and then he’d just be gone.”

Thor’s brows furrowed as he mulled over this bit of information.  After a moment he raised his gaze to mine and asked softly, “Was that what it was like while you were under the spell of the Tesseract?  Could Loki dip into your mind in the same way?”

I winced at the memory of how easily Loki was able to breach my mind.  Just a simple touch of those slim, cool fingers to my temple, and all was laid bare to him.  No secrets; no hiding anything.  Full access to all I thought; all I _was_.

“Sorta,” I rasped, my heart tripping along merrily as I relived each and every time Loki had delved into my mind. 

And still my thoughts and feelings regarding the mad god were in a tangled, fucked up mess.  I’d thought I’d managed to sort them out somewhat over the last six months, and then along came Thor and now I was right back where I started, it seemed.  I felt a twinge of resentment prickling in the corner of my mind; whispering that I’d never totally be okay; never really know what I was feeling ever again.

“Then perhaps he truly _was_ operating under the power of another,” Thor exclaimed, a glimmer of hope showing in those electric blue eyes.

“I suppose that’s possible,” I ventured.  “But still, I don’t think it was exactly the same as what I went through.  I couldn’t help what I did.  I literally had no control over my actions.  Loki told me what to do, and I did it.  No questions, no hesitation.”

“How do you know that it was not the same for Loki,” Thor demanded in a defensive tone.

“Because I saw him making his own choices,” I snapped back.  “Unless his partners, or masters, or whatever the fuck you want to call them had an open line into his head, he was free to _make_ choices.  I didn’t have that luxury!”

“He may not have been controlled as fully as you, archer, but he was obviously being influenced,” Thor growled.

“Maybe,” I shrugged.  “And maybe not.  No way to be sure, really, so there’s no use arguing it.  What else you wanna know?”

Thor sighed and took another cautious sip from his beer before asking, “What happened in Stuttgart?”

Immediately I felt a spasm deep in my gut as my stomach dropped into my shoes.  ‘ _He knows already_ ,’ my brain screamed.  ‘ _This is a test!  He just wants to see what you’ll say!_ ’  I wanted to curl up into a little ball and hide; or run as fast and far as I could; dive out the nearest window…anything… _anything_ to keep that cold blue stare from boring into me.

Instead, I heard myself answering in a surprisingly steady voice, “Nothing much.  Why?”

The Thunderer frowned at me then, eyes searching my own before he continued.  “Loki said that it was in Stuttgart that his view on mortals began to change.  He said it was _you_ that swayed him.”

“Me,” I asked, the confusion in my voice genuine.  “I don’t see how _I_ had anything to do with that.”

“He said he removed the thrall from you for a brief time…and that you spoke to him at length.  He would not say what you conversed about, or how it made him question his actions.  Just that after his time with you he felt…changed, somehow.  What did you _say_ to him, Clint Barton?”

‘ _Well, fuck_ ,’ I thought, ‘ _how do I even begin to answer this?_ ’  My head was swimming with all sorts of conflicting emotions, a half dozen lies on the tip of my tongue. 

And through it all, I held the mental image of Loki’s face just before the Other tore him away from me.  That appraising gaze; his mouth opening to say…what, exactly?  I’d made peace with the fact that I’d probably never know what he’d meant to say to me that long ago day, and now that curiosity; that _hunger_ was back, bright and fresh as if it had happened just yesterday.

Thanks, Thor.

“I-I can’t really remember,” I said weakly.  “I remember when he pulled the thrall off.  He wanted me to be able to speak freely, but he didn’t dismiss it entirely.  I remember wanting to fight him; to stop him…but I couldn’t.  Everything after that is sort of jumbled.”

I waited for Thor to sniff out my lie, or to reveal he already knew everything.  And as the minutes stretched out, I realized he _didn’t_ know the truth of our encounter.  That Loki had kept the lion’s share of what had happened between us a secret.  I didn’t know whether to be grateful or insulted, so I decided on both.

“You remember _nothing_ ,” Thor asked mournfully.

“Just bits and pieces, really,” I shrugged.  “Something about him not having to do what he was doing.  That we could help him if he’d let us.”

“You showed him compassion,” Thor remarked quietly.  “Even after all he had done.”

“I guess,” I answered, uneasy at the turn the conversation had taken.  This was not anything I wanted to relive, or even examine too closely.  I’d spent far too long being fucked up over the events of those few short days I had belonged to Loki.  I may not have found peace, or even any answers, but I _had_ managed to push it back into a dark corner of my brain and leave it there.  The last thing I wanted was to drag it back out into the light, where I would have to acknowledge it.

“At the very least, though, you can substantiate that Loki did not act alone in this mad scheme,” Thor mumbled, almost to himself.  “You can offer your part of the story and perhaps Odin will yet show leniency.”

“Whoa.  Wait a minute,” I cut in.  “What are you going on about?”

“Loki refused to speak to Odin, so the All-Father’s judgment was passed without any knowledge of these other collaborators,” Thor answered eagerly.  “If he is told the truth, then he may reduce Loki’s sentence!”

“And you want _me_ to tell Odin this,” I asked, incredulous.  “Why didn’t Loki tell him when he had the chance?!”

“Loki’s pride would not allow…”

“ _Fuck his pride_ ,” I roared, anger surging through me in a sudden, devastating flood.  “Look.  I get that he’s your brother, and you love him no matter what.  I get that you don’t want him to suffer any more than absolutely necessary.  But what you seem to fail to realize is that _I don’t care_ what happens to Loki.  As far as I’m concerned, he deserves whatever he gets!”

“Then you refuse to help me, archer,” Thor asked stiffly.

“You’re goddamn right, I refuse,” I growled in return.  “Your ‘Watcher Between Worlds’ has been keeping an eye on us all this time, right?  Let _him_ tell Odin what I said!”

“It must come from your mouth, and your mouth only,” the god stated, drawing himself up to his full height and glowering down at me.

“Don’t try the physical intimidation route with me, Blondie,” I snarled.  “I survived one god already, and I’d be happy to make it two.”

“I am sorry, Clint Barton,” Thor ground out.

That caught me off guard, and I blinked at him in confusion.  “Sorry for _what_ ,” I demanded, my patience at an end.

“For this,” Thor sighed and lunged forward, wrapping one arm tight around me before bellowing out, “ _Heimdall!  Open the Bi-frost!_ ”

 

 


	4. An Unexpected Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dragged across the universe against his will, Clint finds himself in Asgard. What could -possibly- go wrong?

First there was a rumble, and then a flash of light so bright that it seared my eyes.  And then pain.  Intense, blinding pain on a molecular scale.  It seemed like every atom in my body was being wrenched apart, and I bucked against Thor’s iron grip.  But all to no avail; the Thunder God’s hold on me was unbreakable. 

Just when I thought I might scream or pass out or go mad from the thrumming pulse of power that was surrounding me, it all stopped. 

Suddenly; violently; there was silence.

Thor released me, and I staggered, trying desperately not to fall to an undignified heap at his feet.  It was a battle I nearly lost; remaining upright by the barest of margins as I struggled to catch my breath. 

Apparently cross-realm travel was a little tough on us mere mortals.

“Forgive me,” Thor murmured from just over my shoulder.  “You left me with no choice in the matter.  Surely you can…”

His words were cut short as I whirled around, my fist connecting solidly with his jaw.  That leonine head rocked back, and he stared at me, eyes bright with shock.

“What the _fuck_ ,” I roared.  “Do you even realize what you’ve done?!”

“I…I did what was necessary,” the blonde god stammered.

“YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPED ME,” I snarled, advancing on him, my fists balled and shaking with rage.  “You did the _exact_ same thing Loki did, only without the added bonus of making me your own personal little toy soldier!”

“You refused to help me,” Thor bellowed in return, his anger slowly growing.  “A few simple words were all that I required, and you denied me even that!”

“So that makes it okay to just _take_ me,” I demanded.  “To rip me out of my _home_?  Off of my goddamn _planet_ , for fuck’s sake?!  Did you even stop to think how SHIELD is going to view this?  You just committed an act of aggression, Thor!  They’re gonna call this an attack!”

Thor took a step back, his brows drawing together as he mulled over my words.  I watched as something akin to panic twisted his expression before he finally raised his gaze to meet mine.

“That was not my intention,” he whispered.  “When you refused to help me, I…let my impulsive nature take hold.  I was not thinking clearly.”

“Obviously,” I snorted.

“Can you not understand why,” Thor asked, a pleading tone creeping into his voice.  “You are the only one that can help Loki!”

“Yeah, I got that,” I replied wearily.  “Told you back in my apartment that I got that.  But I also told you that I don’t _care_.”

Thor huffed out a deep sigh and dropped his gaze to the floor.  I shook my head, swearing bitterly under my breath.  I’d had my fill of these gods coming into my life and turning everything to shambles.  By all rights I should be back on my couch, drunk off my ass, instead of wherever the fuck I was now. 

I peered around, taking my first real look at my surroundings.  Now that my anger was momentarily spent, I felt curiosity taking hold.  It’s not every day that I get kidnapped, dragged halfway across the universe and dropped smack in the middle of a place no human has ever been…so I supposed I should try and make the best of it.

After all, there was no way out of this.  I was a ‘guest’ of Asgard until someone decided it might be a good idea to send me back to Earth.

The circular room I found myself in was adorned in ornate scrollwork, every inch gilded in what looked to be pure gold.  In the center of the floor was a raised platform, and standing upon it, watching us impassively, was one of the largest men I’d ever seen.  I grumbled at myself for allowing my anger to blind me to the fact that we were not alone.  It’s stupid shit like that that gets you killed; when you start slipping, and fail to notice what’s around you. 

That’s why there’s no old age home for master assassins.  Sooner or later we all start slipping.

I eyed the stranger warily as he continued to stand stock still, his steady gaze boring into me.  Finally he intoned, “Greetings, Clint Barton of Midgard.  Your presence is welcomed here in the Golden City.”

“Let me guess,” I snapped.  “You’re Heimdall, right?  The Watcher?”

“I am indeed,” he answered calmly, still holding his position. 

“And you…what?  Hang out here all day?  Like some sort of cosmic doorman?”

“I guard the way in, and out, of Asgard.  I watch for any threat to the kingdom.  I see all I turn my gaze toward; all that is, and all that will be.”

“And what a bang up job you’re doing,” I said, letting the sarcasm drip from my words.  “I assume you saw this coming?”

“I did.”

“Didn’t think maybe you should…I dunno…advise your crown prince _against_ practicing the age old art of human trafficking?”

“The end result will justify the action taken,” Heimdall replied cryptically. 

“Somehow, I don’t think it will,” I growled.

“Neither did Odin, when I first informed him of what Thor had done,” the Watcher returned.  “But I assure you that I have followed this course of action to its end, and while there are moments of strife, this is how it must be.”

“Oh, well that just makes everything okay then,” I muttered to myself.

Heimdall turned to Thor then, stating blandly, “You have made great strides, my prince.  But your impulsive nature is still a hindrance to your eventual rule.  While you mean well, you must consider all aspects of your actions; how they will affect all involved.  Your father awaits you both in the throne room.  I would not dally.”

“Thank you, Watcher,” Thor answered in a small voice, inclining his head slightly.

“Have you any further questions, Clint Barton,” Heimdall asked, spearing me once more with that odd, orange stare.

“Just one, really.”

“Yes?”

“Does _everyone_ in Asgard have an addiction to fucked up headwear, because damn,” I smirked.  “I thought _Loki’s_ was bad.”

Thor scowled at me as I held Heimdall’s gaze, facing off against the Watcher.  After a long moment, the taller man’s mouth twitched at the corner and he gave me a slight nod.

“Go, then, Clint Barton.  Go in peace.  And mind your tongue when you face the All-Father.  He is not as forgiving as I am.”

“Let’s go,” Thor growled as he took hold of my upper arm, pulling me toward the nearest archway, and beyond, Asgard.

-x-x-x-

I stopped short as we exited the Bifrost, digging in my heels and gaping at the scene before me.

“Holy.  Shit,” I breathed as I shook free of Thor’s grasp, my eyes darting over the distant skyline.  It hit me then exactly how far from home I was, and I suddenly felt very small.

Ahead of me lay a long, narrow road leading to the Golden City…and I could finally understand where the name came from, because goddamned if every single spire and arch wasn’t gilded and shining.  The road itself shimmered in cycling colors; every hue of the rainbow represented.  It made me slightly nauseous to look directly at it, so I focused on the tallest structure instead, putting one foot in front of the other, trailing in the wake of the God of Thunder.

As we drew close to the city itself, I felt an odd nervousness roiling in my belly.  I’d been pretty much everywhere in my time with SHIELD, spending more time on foreign soil than I ever did in my own country. 

But this?  This was a _little_ more foreign than even I was used to.

Thor strode through the gates, nodding at the pair of guards flanking the entrance as they bowed in deference to their crown prince.  I snorted in amusement at the clunky helmets they were sporting.  ‘ _God help these guys in an actual battle,_ ’ I thought.  ‘ _It’s gotta fuck up their balance, wearing that nonsense_.’  Thor glared at me then, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking, and I just shrugged by way of reply.

“Come along, archer,” he huffed.  “We still have quite a distance to cover.”

“Lead the way, Blondie,” I snapped.  “Sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can go _home_.”

I was a little surprised by the interior of Asgard.  It looked like any number of European villages I’d visited, only far cleaner and well…more golden.  There were women hanging out wash next to their houses, men shoeing horses and children darting through the crowds.  Granted, everyone seemed to be about seven feet tall, and they all turned curious eyes my way. 

But overall, Asgard was not nearly as strange as I’d expected.

I nearly recanted that thought as we came upon a large, open aired marketplace.  The nearly familiar, almost-like-home feeling was quickly replaced with a general sense of ‘what in the actual fuck?!’. 

The first sight that shook me was a man made entirely of flame.  As I was gawking at that, I nearly bumped into a wolf the size of a cow.  He was guarding a stall heaped high with the pelts and horns of beasts I’d never seen…and hoped never to encounter.  I side-stepped the large, snarling animal only to find myself caught in the stare of a tall, veiled woman.  It took me a moment to realize what it was about her that I found so unsettling.  The pupils of her eyes were reptilian, vertical slits, and I caught slight movement under her head scarf, as though something beneath was flexing and coiling.

Thor chuckled at my expression of shock, and once again took my upper arm in one large hand, guiding me through the crush of people.  “Not what you are used to, eh Hawk?”

“Not really,” I muttered, casting one last look over my shoulder at the marketplace.  “I guess the weird helmets are pretty far down on the list of messed up things Asgard has to offer.”

“I imagine the sights here are somewhat troubling for one of Midgard.  Magic was lost from your realm eons ago, and as such your people have been blinded to the mysteries of the Universe.”

“You can keep the giant wolves and snake-women,” I stated flatly.  “I’ll take a cold beer and a cheeseburger over that any day of the week.”

“Fair enough, archer,” Thor laughed.  “Come.  We are nearly to the palace.”

I turned my gaze to the highest spire of the skyline, which lay just ahead.  “That’s the palace, I suppose?  That’s where you and Loki grew up?”

“It is,” Thor rumbled, leading us down a short alleyway and into a courtyard filled with flowers and greenery.  Just on the other side rose an impressive set of wide, golden steps that led to the palace itself.  I tilted my head back and looked up at the towers and archways that loomed over us.

“Looks…homey,” I remarked dryly.

“To an extent,” Thor returned, pausing at the foot of the stairs to turn an appraising eye my way.  “Thank you for agreeing to speak to Odin,” he blurted out.  “I cannot tell you what this means to me.”

“It’s not like I really had a _choice_ , Thor,” I scowled.  “And personally, I think you’re sorta crazy for even _wanting_ to help someone who keeps trying to kill you.  Even if he _is_ your brother.  Kind of.”

The frown Thor sent my way was expansive, and I just sighed and shook my head. 

“Yeah, okay.  Let’s go,” I groused.  “Don’t want to keep Daddy waiting longer than necessary.”

-x-x-x-

I shook free of Thor’s grasp as we approached the throne room.  “I think I can manage the rest of the way on my own,” I snapped.  “It’s not like I’m gonna run off, and even if I did, where would I _go_?”

Thor nodded and ushered me in ahead of him.  Immediately my jaw dropped at the sheer size of the room; it was easily the size of a football field, with huge golden columns flanking a long red carpet that led to the dais.  I craned my neck, staring up at the ceiling that soared at least fifty feet overhead.

“Jesus,” I mumbled.  “You guys don’t do anything small around here, do you?”

“Pardon,” Thor asked.

“Nothing,” I replied.  “Just…nice place.”

The Thunderer gave me a curious look before striding down the red carpet toward the throne.  I trailed after him, my eyes fixed on the other end of the room.  As we drew closer, I was met with the sight of Odin All-Father, seated stiffly upon his throne, his face a mask of thinly veiled rage.  A woman stood at his side, a calming hand on Odin’s shoulder.

‘ _Oh shit,_ ’ I thought.  ‘ _Somebody is gonna get it._ ’

As we stepped to the foot of the dais, Thor went to one knee.  “Father,” he began hesitantly, only to be cut off by the white haired king.

“What have you done,” he hissed.

“I have brought you proof of Loki’s role in the invasion of Midgard,” Thor said hurriedly.  “As I suspected he did not…”

“You have brought me a prisoner,” Odin roared.

“I…no,” Thor sputtered.  “The archer…”

“Did not come here of his own free will!  You captured him, did you not?”

Thor held his tongue, his gaze falling to the carpet before him.

“Was it your choice to accompany my son here, mortal,” the All-Father demanded, his one blue eye spearing me where I stood.

“No,” I answered blandly.  “It wasn’t.”

“And you told him as much?  That you would not assist him in this fool’s errand?”

“You know I did,” I shot back.  “Your little guardian already said that he told you everything!”

“Silence,” Odin shouted, and then turned his attention back to Thor.  “Rise, you stupid boy.  Showing me deference will not lessen my anger in this matter.”

The woman at his side leaned in to whisper in the All-Father’s ear as Thor stood to his feet.  He waved her away with a growl, and she frowned down at us both.

“You have always been soft when it comes to your wayward brother, Thor,” Odin intoned.  “Even banished; tucked away in another realm, he has the power to skew your thinking.  _Were_ you thinking when you made this decision?  Did you consider what you may have wrought by taking this course of action?  Or did you simply see a way to clear your precious brother’s name; nothing more?”

“I had not considered what trouble may arise by bringing the Hawk here,” Thor answered in a small voice.

“Of course you didn’t,” the king exploded, rising from his seat to pace the length of the dais.  “It was not _you_ that had to make peace with Midgard after Loki’s attempt to rule!  It was not _you_ that had to promise that no other Asgardian harbored such aspirations.  No.  _You_ simply threatened to bring _war_ down upon their heads if they attempted to hold your brother!”

Thor seemed to shrink into himself with each venomous word that fell from Odin’s lips, and even though I was still pretty pissed at him, I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the dressing down the big guy was taking.

“Hey, hang on a second,” I ventured.  “I think you’re being a little rough on Thor.”

Odin whirled on me then, snarling.  “And why should I care what you think, mortal?  Your opinion in the matter means little to me.”

I bristled at the tone he directed at me; as though I was less than dirt.  A simple mortal, and so far beneath him that I should _have_ no opinion.

  
“That’s your _son_ ,” I shouted, pointing to where Thor stood, his head bowed.  “And he’s in pain, in case you hadn’t noticed.  Or do you just not care?”

Odin drew himself up to his full height, glaring down at me balefully.  “I am well aware of _who_ he is, archer,” he bit out.  “But I am no longer sure of _what_ he is.  Where does his loyalty lie?  With his home and the realm he swore to protect?  Or with his traitorous ‘brother’ who was bent on the destruction of _your_ world.”  A bitter smile played over the king’s face and he continued in a sly whisper, “But, of course you are familiar with Loki’s actions.  Were you not in his service for a time?”

“Oh, fuck you,” I snarled.  “You know very well that I was.  And now I’m not.  So don’t treat me like I’m some sort of villain.  I’ve already got one cranky, one-eyed asshole in my life, I sure as shit don’t need another!”

“Have some respect, Clint Barton,” the woman at Odin’s side snapped.  “You are addressing my husband, the king.”

“Lady,” I barked.  “I give respect when it’s earned, and so far, not a single goddamn member of your family has earned that from me.  Both of your sons have turned me into a thing to be hauled around for their own purposes; my wants and needs be damned.  Your husband has insulted me, he’s being a real dick to your remaining kid, and truthfully?  I’ve had my fill of this bullshit.  You want to paint Loki as a monster?  Fine.  He kinda is, and I personally think he deserves to be punished for what he did!” 

The low gasp Thor voiced was my first clue that maybe I’d gone a little too far.  The look of fury in the tall, regal woman’s eyes only served to confirm that feeling.  I had to fight the urge to cower as she swept down the stairs, her head held high and shoulders squared.  She stepped to me and I met her gaze head on, waiting for the backlash I could feel coming.

“How dare you,” she asked softly, her low tone belying the chill of anger I could feel coming off of her.  “How dare you pass such judgment upon my family?”

“It’s pretty easy, actually,” I snapped.  “I’m just going off my _experiences_ with them.  You may not like what I have to say, lady, but you can’t tell me how to feel.”

“My title may be ‘Lady’, but my _name_ is Frigga, and you will address me as such,” she stated flatly.  “And if you are quite finished with your…callous assessment of those I love, perhaps you could tell us what you know of Loki?  Thor obviously thought the information you carry important enough to bring you here.  So, please…enlighten us.”

And just like that, I had that feeling you get as a kid when your mom or a favorite teacher called you out on the carpet.  That slightly embarrassed, wish-you-were-anywhere-but-where-you-were feeling. 

“Yeah, okay,” I groused, scrubbing my palm over the back of my neck.

So I told them everything I could safely relate.  I told them of the Other, and of Loki’s moods after being pulled out of himself.  I told them of the mysterious ‘Him’, and how Loki seemed to be in terror of disappointing this unknown man.  And through it all, I watched as Frigga’s gaze went from icy to harboring a tiny spark of hope.

That’s the thing about mothers.  When their kids go bad, they never really want to believe it’s true, and almost always hold out hope that they can somehow be redeemed.  And even though Lady Frigga had given me a proper bitching out, I really didn’t want to think of what she’d do to me if she thought I’d delivered her false hope.

“So it seems that Thor’s suspicions had some basis in truth,” Odin muttered.  “Yet Loki refused to share such knowledge with us.”

“You know how stubborn he can be,” Frigga sighed.

“But why,” Thor questioned.  “Why would he not attempt to save himself?”

“That is something you will have to ask _him_ ,” Odin huffed.  He turned then and gestured to the guards flanking his throne before sending a sour look our way.  “Perhaps he will speak to you.”

And just like that, Loki was dragged into view.

He was dressed in ragged clothing that hung on his too thin frame; streaked in grime and dried blood, and his usually neat hair fell in a knotted curtain about his face.

I managed to cage the gasp that rose in my throat, and I glared daggers at Thor.  “Did you know about this,” I demanded.  “Did you know he’d be here?!”

“No,” Thor breathed, and the look of utter shock on his face convinced me far better than any words ever could.

The guards forced Loki to his knees before Odin, and he crouched there, head bowed.  Something about this scene raised the hackles on the back of my neck, but I bit my tongue until I tasted blood and waited. 

We all waited.


	5. The Truth of the Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint doesn't much care for Asgard...or many of the people found there.

The silence stretched out and I did my best not to stare directly at that bowed and broken figure at Odin’s feet.  I told myself that the labored breathing that wracked his narrow frame was none of my concern; that the deep bruises marring his pale flesh were all part and parcel of the punishment that he had earned.

But while my brain insisted on such, my stomach clenched and I fought the urge to be sick all over the pristine red carpet I stood upon.  I hadn’t expected to be faced with this.  I wasn’t ready.  Not in the least.

“Have you nothing to say,” Odin murmured quietly.  “Even now, when your former thrall has revealed the truth?  Will you neither confirm nor deny his tale, Loki?”

“I see no need,” came the rasping reply; that cultured voice I still sometimes heard in my dreams gone rough with disuse.  “My words will not sway you.”

“Rise and face me,” Odin growled.

Loki showed no sign he’d heard Odin’s command, remaining on his knees, head still bent. 

Frigga sighed and took a step toward the dais.  “Loki, please,” she said in a low voice.  “Will you not speak in your own defense?”

He turned his head then, peering at the Queen through the matted tangle of his hair before his gaze slid to me.  “No, Mother,” he replied softly as his eyes bored into mine.  “It is as the archer said; I deserve this.”

Hearing my own words repeated back to me stung; bringing an ache up into my throat, and making me want to turn away from that piercing stare.  But I squared my shoulders and told myself I wasn’t wrong.  He _did_ deserve to pay for his actions.

“You need not bear the full weight of guilt, brother,” Thor pleaded.  “You were not alone in this!”

“I made my choices,” Loki stated.  “Tell me; how does this new information change anything?”

“It changes everything,” Odin said wearily.  “Now rise, Loki.  I must think on all that the archer has told us.  You shall have a brief reprieve from your punishment while I examine the facts.”

Loki remained frozen, his eyes still locked on mine, and my heart was somewhere in my throat as he studied me.  Odin sighed and nodded to the nearest guard who took Loki’s arm and attempted to haul him upright.  The dark god snarled in response, tearing his gaze from mine and twisting away from the man at his side.  He struggled to his feet under his own power, and I looked away so as not to see how his legs trembled.

“Take him to his quarters,” Odin commanded.  “There are wards in place to keep him penned until I have made my decision.”

“Yes, my King,” the guards answered in unison.  And with that, just as quickly as he had appeared, Loki was marched off.

“So…what about me,” I questioned.  “Can I go now?”

“Not as of yet, I am afraid,” the King sighed.  “When Loki’s sentence was imposed, I was not the sole power involved.  You will have to repeat your tale to the council.”

“And how long is _that_ going to take,” I demanded.  “You can’t just…you can’t keep me here _forever_!”

“We would never attempt such a thing,” Frigga answered quietly.  “Once you have spoken your piece to the council, then you will be returned to your realm.  Until then you will be our guest, archer.”

“Yeah.  Guest,” I snorted.  “Is that what you call your prisoners here?”

“ _Enough_ ,” the Queen hissed.  “I understand your anger.  I do.  And if you insist, then I shall personally send you home.  But have some compassion.  Surely you are not so hard-hearted as to deny a mother’s hope to save her son?”

And there was that feeling again; like I was five years old and being scolded.  I didn’t much like it then, and I liked it even less now, so I turned my attention back to Odin.

“How is it that you’re the King, but Loki’s punishment wasn’t yours to hand out?”

Odin sank down into his throne, the weight of his years seeming to descend upon him suddenly.  “It is rather simple, really.  There has always been a ruling council in Asgard; one which I turn to when I need guidance.”  He paused, scrubbing one hand over his face before continuing.  “Even the greatest of kings need guidance at times.  And when Loki was brought home, it was thought that were I to decide the fate of my own son, then perhaps his punishment would not fully meet the gravity of his crimes.”

Oh.  Well that actually made sense.

“Ok, fine,” I allowed.  “How long am I stuck here?  How long until I can see this council?”

“Two days, at most,” Odin answered.  “And once you have spoken to them, then I will return you to Midgard.  Is this agreeable?”

“It’ll have to be,” I huffed.  “Not sure how well my people are going to take all this, but I’d suggest trying to contact them.  Maybe head off any problems before they can start?”

“I will make sure of it,” Odin said quietly.  “And I am sorry for my son’s rash actions, archer.”

“Which one,” I asked dryly.

Odin lifted his head, spearing me with a sad look. 

“Both,” he whispered.

-x-x-x-

Thor was quiet as he led me from the throne room, seemingly lost in thought.  I let him have his silence; after all, I had things of my own to mull over.

Like that look Loki had given me.  His gaze had been hollow; resigned.  The glimmer of madness I remembered so well had been utterly missing, and in its’ place was something akin to grief.  Maybe even a hint of remorse.

But remorse for _what_?  That was the million dollar question.

It occurred to me that I had no idea what Loki’s punishment entailed.  Thor hadn’t said, and we hadn’t asked.  But judging from the state the Trickster had been in, it was brutal.  And again my stomach twisted when I thought about what it must’ve taken to turn the proud, regal god I remembered into that broken creature that would rather keep to his knees than rise and face his former father.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to follow that line of thought any further.

“Where are you taking me,” I asked softly.

“You will be given quarters near my own,” Thor answered absently, his mind obviously elsewhere.  “Anything you need will be provided, archer.  Simply ask and it shall be delivered.”

“Anything?”

Thor turned and eyed me warily, before saying, “Within reason.  Yes.”

“And am I free to look around the place?  Or am I confined to my room?”

The expression of shock on the Thunderer’s face was expansive.  “Of course you are free to come and go!  Despite what you think, archer, you are _not_ a prisoner here.”

“Yeah, except for that whole ‘Sorry, you’re gonna have to stay here until we’re done with you,’ thing.”

Thor’s shock gave way to chagrin and he turned away from me.  “Come,” he said gruffly.  “There is no use discussing what cannot be changed.”

“Seems to be the trend with your family,” I grumbled, feeling my anger beginning to flare brightly again.  This day had featured far more bullshit than I was prepared to handle graciously, and I could feel a meltdown of epic proportions coming on.  Thankfully, I didn’t see any way today could get any worse.

Boy, was I wrong.

“What is this,” boomed a jovial voice from behind us.  “Thor has returned from Midgard and no one saw fit to notify us?!”

Thor pulled up short as I threw a look back over one shoulder.  Coming toward us were three men.  One was round and jolly, the other stoic and vaguely Asian, and the third…all I could see was a mustache Errol Flynn would have been proud to have owned, and a predatory grin that gave me the immediate creeps.

Turning, the Thunder God gave a wan smile and quick greeting.  “My friends,” he said.  “Forgive me.  I had not planned on returning this day, but circumstances demanded it.”

“And I see you have brought back a tribute,” smirked Mustache, his eyes crawling over me in a way that raised every single red flag in my arsenal.  “A rather fetching one, if I may be so bold.”

“Wait…what do you mean by tribute?”  I sent a glare Thor’s way.  “What does he mean by that?”

Thor winced before shooting a sour look at Mustache.  “Fandral, you are aware that taking tributes is a thing of the past, and is now forbidden.”

“Yes.  ‘ _Forbidden’_ ,” chuckled Fandral while dropping a sly wink.  His two companions had the decency to look slightly embarrassed and avoided my gaze, instead intently studying one of the many hanging tapestries that lined the hallway.

“What the _fuck_ is he talking about,” I growled.

“In days long past, the Midgardians offered the gods tributes as a show of their loyalty,” Thor mumbled.  “It was common for those returning from your realm to be accompanied by their tributes.”

“They gave you… _people_ ,” I asked in a tight voice.

The Thunderer ignored my question and snapped at Fandral, “Enough!  This is my _guest_ and Avenger’s team-mate, the archer, Clint Barton.”

“Oh,” Fandral returned, his eyes wide and a note of mock-deference in his tone.  “Forgive me, then.  I hadn’t realized that this was _Loki’s_ personal tribute.”

And before I even knew that I was moving, I had crossed the distance between me and Mustache, and launched myself at that smug, knowing grin.  My fist contacted soft flesh which I drove into the unyielding teeth that lay just behind.  I could feel the snarl twisting my mouth; feel the way my eyes felt far too large and the black rage thrumming through my veins. 

I wanted to peel this son-of-a-bitch’s face off his skull; rip him apart and scatter the remains. 

I wanted to _end_ him.

The look of surprise in Fandral’s eyes as I rocked his head back was so fucking sweet.  The trickle of blood that burst from the corner of his mouth was even better.  He stumbled back, one hand clapped to his face, and I advanced as everyone around us stood frozen in shock.

“Think you’re funny,” I hissed.  “Let’s see how funny you are when you’re spitting out pieces of your goddamned teeth.”

It was then that Thor lunged forward and wrapped one thick arm around my waist, lifting me entirely off the ground and backing away.  Fandral spat a bloody wad of phlegm to the polished tile beneath our feet and directed a crimson-streaked grin my way.

“Did I strike a nerve, mortal,” he asked.  “So very like your master, you are.”

I bucked and twisted in Thor’s grasp as I howled out, “He’s _not_ my fucking master!  He’s _nothing_ to me, and I am nothing like _him_!”

“Yes,” Fandral stated, his words dripping sarcasm.  “I can see how very unlike Loki you are.  Your sanity is absolutely unwavering, and you do not seem to have a violent bone in your body.”

“Fuck you,” I screamed while prying at the corded forearm clamped around me.  “Put me down, Thor!  Right _fucking_ now!”

“You should go,” Thor growled at Fandral.  “And mind your tongue, friend.  I would not underestimate this one.  He is far more dangerous than you may think.”

“As you wish,” Fandral said.  He then gave a slight bow to Thor, and a mocking wink to me, before turning on his heel and stalking away.

“Will you be calm if I release you,” the god asked in a low tone. 

“Yes,” I spat, the indignity of being held aloft momentarily outweighing my need to exact revenge.  “Just…let go of me.”

Thor set me down carefully and gave me a weary look laden with confusion.  “I understand this day has been trying for you, Clint Barton, but that was an extreme reaction.”

“Call me Clint, okay,” I snapped.  “When you use my whole name like that it just sounds weird.”

“Fine.  Clint, then.  Now tell me what provoked you to such sudden violence.”

“Really?  You have no idea,” I asked.  “Your friend Fandral was kind of an _asshole_.  I don’t respond well to assholes.”

“He has a skill in saying precisely the wrong thing,” Thor answered quietly.

“You think,” I snorted.

Thor stared at me, eyes narrowed.  “Still.  You seemed to take great offense to Fandral’s words.”

“Of course I did,” I exploded.  “He called me a tribute!  He thought I was a…slave!”

“And yet you did not fully wake to anger until he called you _Loki’s_ tribute.”

I met Thor’s stare head on, stating firmly, “Well maybe I’m still a little touchy about that.  Being kidnapped, brainwashed, and forced to act against my nature has a way of sticking with a person.  Have _you_ ever had anything like that happen to you?”

“I cannot say that I have.”

“Then you don’t get to question my reactions,” I growled.  “Now how’s about you show me to my room?  I think I’ve had my fill of interacting with you Asgardians.”

“Of course,” Thor murmured, giving me one last appraising look before turning on his heel and walking away. 

I followed slowly, muttering under my breath.  If this was how my time in the Golden City was going to go, I’d be lucky if I ever made it home again.

-x-x-x-

My room was at the end of the hall, a short distance from where I had socked Fandral in the mouth.  Thor stopped before the door and gestured across the hallway.  “My own chambers are just here, Clint.  If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask any of the palace staff.  They have been instructed to see to your needs as they would my own.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled.  “I think I’m gonna need a drink…or six.”

Thor nodded, saying, “I suspected as much.  I will summon a servant before I go to speak to Loki.”

I struggled to hide the immediate stiffening of my spine at the mention of Loki’s name.  “What are you going to talk to him about,” I asked carefully.

“I will try to convince him that he should speak to the council.  He must see that to continue to hold his silence is pure folly.”

“He seemed pretty dead set on not doing that,” I replied.  “Hell, he wouldn’t even talk to your dad about it.”

Thor sighed.  “Loki is stubborn.  He rarely does anything unless it is something he himself wants to do.  Nonetheless, I will try to sway him.”

“Well, good luck with that,” I muttered.  “Where did Odin put him, anyway?”

Thor’s eyes darted to the right, touching on the door next to my own.

“You’re kidding,” I said flatly.  “He’s my fucking _neighbor_?”

“That is where Loki’s chambers lie, and that is where he can be safely contained,” Thor answered.  “The dungeons would not hold one such as him.”

“Awesome,” I breathed, fighting down the touch of panic I felt at having my former captor so close.  “I’m just gonna go throw myself off the balcony now.  Cancel that mead, okay?  I won’t be needing it.”

“Do not do anything rash, Hawk,” Thor soothed.  “Loki cannot leave his rooms.  You will not have to see him.”

“Doesn’t make me feel any better, big guy,” I replied.  “But thanks for trying.”

The Thunder god looked troubled.  “I do not wish to cause you any further dismay.  If it pleases you, I can have you moved elsewhere.”

“No,” I huffed.  “Really, don’t worry about it.  I’m gonna have to face my feelings over this whole mess sooner or later, so I may as well put on my big girl panties and get it over with.”

The look of confusion on Thor’s face would have been comical if I hadn’t been marginally freaking out on the inside.  “Big…girl…panties,” he questioned slowly.  “I do not understand this term.”

I gave a wan smile and answered, “Just a figure of speech.  Don’t hurt yourself trying to figure it out.”  I paused then and clapped Thor on the back.  “Really.  I’ll be fine.  Go talk to your brother.  I think I’m just gonna lay down for a while.”

Thor nodded walked the few short feet to Loki’s chambers, giving a brief knock before letting himself in.  I stood in the hall a moment longer, staring after him before I let myself into my room, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it.  I forced myself to breathe deeply; evenly, as I struggled to keep my head together. 

“Fuck this day,” I murmured, closing my eyes and grinding my head against the door at my back.  “I need a goddamn reset button.  This is just…too much.”

Sighing, I pushed myself upright and stepped away from the door to explore the room before me.  It was spacious and decorated in the over-the-top manner that seemed the norm here in Asgard.  Velvet drapes ringed the bed, and ran across the far wall, bracketing a series of arches that led out to a large, open air balcony.  I gave a cursory glance outside, taking in the whole of the city laid out far below before I went back to pacing the perimeter of the room.  And once I’d mapped every inch of the room; once I’d memorized every entrance and exit; only then did I collapse on the wide, high bed and allow my eyes to close. 

I drifted off to sleep with the muted sound of Thor’s voice bleeding through the wall, his pleading tone much more discernible than his words.

-x-x-x-

I woke an indeterminable time later to the sound of my door slowly opening.  Immediately I was gripped with panic.  Thor’s assurances that Loki was contained echoed through my head, and logically I knew… _knew_ it wasn’t him.  But the primordial side of my brain was screaming that he’d broken free; found a loophole, and was coming to reclaim me.  That he was going to pull out my will again and make me his loyal little lapdog.  That all this was planned; that I’d been brought to Asgard, far away from my team, far away from _any_ help purely so Loki could take back what was his.

And under that veil of terror, I felt an unexplainable spike of excitement.

I rolled off the far side of the bed, my eyes locked on the door as it swung open.  A young girl stepped inside bearing a large tray and I felt the adrenaline drain out of me in a slow, thumping flood.  Turning, her eyes widened as she caught sight of me, half crouched and glaring back at her.  She quickly dropped her gaze, set the tray on a nearby table, and fled the room without saying a word.

Scrubbing my hand over my face, I uttered a strained laugh and skirted around the bed to see what the mystery girl had brought.

The tray was heaped with bread, cheese, several varieties of fruit, slices of rare roasted meat…and best of all, a giant pitcher of mead.   I immediately poured myself a goblet, settled into a plush chair and set about getting well and truly drunk.

About an hour later, I’d managed to demolish most of the food in front of me, and the pitcher of mead had only the dregs remaining.  I felt a little more optimistic about things.  Still sorta pissed about where I was, and even more so about how I’d gotten there.  But the alcohol haze was definitely helping to keep me calm.

Which was no easy task, as I’d been lost in thought pretty much since I’d sat down at the table.

I’d turned over my treacherous feelings; examining them from every angle; wondering why I couldn’t seem to quash my attraction to Loki.  Even after all he’d done, some part of me still _wanted_ the bastard.  And I didn’t know _why_. 

Yeah, he’d gotten into my head.  Yeah, we’d had one short interlude where it was just us.  No thrall to color my actions, no distractions or power plays.  Just…us.

And I couldn’t lie to myself about that evening in Stuttgart.  I’d enjoyed having Loki.  The way he’d responded to me, and by the end, sorta opened up to me?  It was scary how much I’d liked that.

But then he’d turned on me.

The hurt swelled in my chest, and I drained the last bit of mead while pushing that thought out of my head.  It didn’t pay to think too deeply on that.  What happened had happened, and nothing could change that.

 _‘But what if,’_ whispered that little voice in my head _.  ‘What if he hadn’t been pulled away?  What if he’d been able to say whatever it was he was about to before the Other took him?  What then?’_

“Shut up,” I muttered, rising unsteadily to my feet.  “Just…shut up.”

I turned toward the balcony, noting that while I’d been busy torturing my liver, twilight had fallen.  The sky outside had gone a mix of violet and gold, and a slight breeze was rustling the velvet drapes, bringing the scent of flowers into my room.  I wobbled my way outside to lean against the marble railing, looking down over the city below.

 _‘What was he going to **say** ,’_ came that voice again, poking sharp little fingers deep into the wound in my heart.

“I don’t _know_ ,” I shouted.  “And it doesn’t fucking _matter_!”

And then, from my right, I heard Loki say, “If it matters not, then why are you shouting it to the heavens?”

I wheeled around, nearly stumbling in my shock as my feet tangled together.  My eyes darted over the balcony, seeing nothing other than the ridiculous furnishing and a tall, thick trellis covered in ivy.

“Wha-where are you,” I demanded.  “Come out where I can see you!”

“I cannot,” Loki stated calmly.  “Odin’s wards have penned me most effectively.  I can move about my rooms and this balcony…but not beyond.”

I stepped closer to the trellis, noting how it didn’t quite match the surrounding décor, yet formed a perfect barrier between my area and Loki’s. 

“They put this up so I wouldn’t even have to see you,” I muttered.

“Very astute,” Loki answered dryly.  “I am one to be protected against.  Even the _sight_ of me causes distress, it seems.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“No,” Loki questioned.  “You seemed quite distressed when first you saw me in the throne room.”

“Wasn’t expecting to ever see you again,” I said in a thick voice.  “Wasn’t ready for that.”

“Be that as it may, your dismay was apparent,” Loki whispered, and I told myself that I didn’t hear hurt in that quiet voice. 

I told myself that I shouldn’t even be talking to him.  He was a liar, and a thief, and he’d do or say anything to gain favor.  I told myself that he was trying to make me sympathetic so that I would speak favorably to the council on his behalf.  I told myself that nothing good would come from this exchange, and that I should just go back into my room and ignore him.

So of course, I kept talking.

“Well, it wasn’t so much _you_.  Just that…you didn’t look all that good,” I answered slowly, trying hard to keep my words from slurring.  Seems that the mead was catching up with me.

“Had you expected me to be unchanged despite my punishment?”

“Thought they’d at least clean you up before parading you around.”

The laugh that came from the far side of the trellis was unexpected.  “No.  That would have been a kindness, and I do not deserve such.”

“Don’t say that,” I blurted out.

There was silence for a long moment before Loki replied, “And is that _concern_ I hear?  Strange.  I had not thought to receive such from you.”

“Maybe not quite concern,” I said gruffly. 

“No,” Loki said flatly.  “After all, I heard what you said in the hall.”

“I might have been a little harsh,” I allowed.  “But I was angry and I didn’t even know you were _there_!”

“Not in the throne room,” the god snapped.  “The hall.  I heard your exchange with Fandral.”

Oh.  Well, fuck.

“So much anger you still carry,” Loki continued.  “So quick to resort to violence when referred to as mine.  And yet you insist I am _nothing_ to you.”

“Yeah, well you sort of brought that on yourself, didn’t you,” I growled.

“Did I,” he mused. 

“Yes.  You did.  I told you in Stuttgart that you were going to have to answer for your actions someday.  Looks like that’s today.”

Silence again.  This time for so long that I thought maybe he’d retreated back inside.  But then Loki spoke, and the edge of misery I heard in his voice made my stomach clench.

“None of what occurred that night could have been avoided,” he murmured.  “There was no other way.”

“Bullshit,” I snarled.  “You had a choice.  You just made the wrong one.”

“You do not know what choices I had, or what paths I could have trod.  I had my reasons for what I did.”

“So tell me, then,” I demanded.  “Tell me _why_!”

“I cannot,” Loki whispered.

“You _can’t_ , or you _won’t_ ,” I questioned.

“Both, and neither,” he answered cryptically.

“Oh, well _that_ just clears up _everything_ ,” I seethed.

“If I am nothing to you, archer, then why do you _care_?  Why is it so important for you to understand my actions?  You are free of me now.  That is all that should matter.”

“But I’m not,” I growled.  “I’m not free of you.  And I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

“What do you mean,” Loki asked slowly. 

“Just what I said.  You’re still in my head.  Maybe not quite like you were before…but you’re there.  And I can’t get you out!  I’m all twisted up and confused and I can’t stop thinking of Stuttgart and how you were when it was just us, and how you were _just_ about to say something to me right before you froze up,” I stopped there, nearly panting in my distress.  “You could have let me help you.  You could’ve let me go.  But you just put me back under.  No qualms.  No remorse.  You just…made me your slave again.  And then when you were done with me?  You threw me away.”

“Barton, please,” Loki begged, his tone raw and trembling.  “Do not make me relive that.  You said that I would be the one to ask myself the harsh questions when all was said and done, and I have.  I cannot make you understand why I did what I did.”

“You won’t even _try_ ,” I bit out, wishing I could see his face.  If I could just see his eyes, then maybe I’d know if this show of remorse was true.

“Can you not see the truth of the matter,” he asked quietly.  “Can you not see why I put you back under my thrall?”

“Because you needed me,” I mumbled.

“No,” Loki barked.  “It was because I _wanted_ you.  I would have done anything to keep you at my side!  I thought perhaps I could convince you to stay with me of your own accord, but that was never meant to be.”

I took a step back, shocked by his admission.  Part of me felt a shiver of pride while another bristled at what Loki had done.  What he had felt he had the _right_ to do.

“So you decided that if you couldn’t have me without the thrall, then you’d just steal my will and _make_ me stay with you?  Real fucking nice.”

“For a brief, shining moment I thought that you would accept me; that you would stay with me,” the god whispered.  “For a time, you were _mine_.  I-I did not want that to end.”

“Then you should have let me help you,” I howled.  “You had no fucking right to enthrall me!  YOU HAD NO RIGHT!”

 _“I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU,”_ Loki screamed out.  “I had to pretend you didn’t matter!  I had to convince the Other that you meant nothing to me, otherwise he would have used you to control me!  They would have hurt you; maimed you; _killed you_ , if only to make me do their bidding!”

My mouth shut with a snap, nearly catching the tip of my tongue between my teeth, and I felt my heart drop into my stomach.  My asshole brain played back every moment of that night in Stuttgart in excruciating detail, starting when Loki had come out of his trance.  How he’d refused to look at me; the expression of thinly veiled pain when he’d finally met my eyes.  The sadness he’d carried at that moment.  And I knew then that he was speaking the truth.

Suddenly, it all made sense. 

“Now do you understand,” Loki sobbed.  “I was attempting to save you from a much worse fate.  And in the process I made you hate me…but you were safe, and that was worth bearing your scorn.”

“I-I didn’t know,” I whispered.  “I just thought…oh goddamn it, I think I’m gonna puke.”  I bent at the waist, planting my hands on my knees and drawing in great, shuddering breathes, trying to contain the roiling in my belly.

“I couldn’t tell you,” the god continued, in a hoarse tone.  “Not while my allies still lived.  And once they were defeated, I lacked the opportunity.”

“You were muzzled every time I saw you.”

“Yes,” Loki replied miserably.  “And you were in the company of your team.  I did not wish to cause them to cast a circumspect eye upon you.”

“This is too fucking much,” I groaned.  “Is that why you didn’t speak up?  Why you didn’t tell Odin of your partners?  Did you take all the blame on yourself because of _me_?”

“I deserved every measure of punishment because of what I had done to you,” Loki answered in a small voice.

“No.  No, no, no,” I babbled, pushing myself upright and stepping to the trellis, twining my fingers through the ivy.  “I’m gonna fix this, Loki.  I’m gonna tell them everything.  This isn’t right.  It isn’t _right_!”

And then I felt the light, tentative touch of Loki’s fingers stroking over my own, and I pressed my forehead against the lattice.  “It’s not right,” I repeated weakly.

“I’m so very sorry,” Loki whispered.  “For everything.”

“I know,” I replied softy.  “Me too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems the boys are getting a little closer to understanding each other. Once again, I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you for reading!


	6. So Much Fuckery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introspection, realizations and long overdue kisses.

We held our silence for a long while after the apologies. 

My thoughts were racing; muddled with alcohol and exhaustion.  I’d been pulled out of sleep long before sun-up to help save the world and then been kidnapped and dragged across the universe against my will.  I’d shouted at a king, been yelled at by a queen, punched a few Asgardians and gotten drunk on mead.  And now here I was, on this balcony, separated from my greatest enemy by a goddamned _trellis_. 

Add in the fact that I still wasn’t quite sure how I felt about said enemy and, well…it was pretty easy to see that I’d had a day full of fuckery. 

The weird thing was, I’d sort of gotten used to dealing with fuckery.  Maybe not on such a grand scale, because who could _possibly_ anticipate the day I was having? 

The last six months had been one bout of bullshit after the next, with scarcely any downtime between instances.  The combination of SHIELD, Fury, the Avengers, and my own twisted up head had rendered me pretty numb.  I was used to being pulled in six different directions at once; to having everyone telling me what was ‘best’ for me.  Usually I’d just dig in my heels, and do what I wanted.  But if that happened to line up with what I was being told to do, then so be it. 

But this time? 

This time it was all up to me.  My choice.  My decision.  Full speed ahead and consequences be damned, because I was tired of second guessing myself.  I had wasted so much time trying to convince myself that I didn’t have any feelings left for Loki rather than examining _why_ I might still feel something.  Or I had just kept telling myself that all I felt was hatred, and any other emotion was _wrong_.

Well fuck that.

Emotions were a goddamned mystery to me.  Always had been, always would be.  I didn’t know _why_ I liked half of what, or who, I liked.  I didn’t know _why_ some things made me laugh while others made my throat go all tight and achy.  And I _sure as shit_ didn’t know why my emotions didn’t always mirror those of the people around me. 

Maybe I was broken.  Maybe I was fundamentally backwards in some way.  Hell, maybe that’s all there was to the attraction I felt for Loki; we were both spectacularly fucked up. 

I don’t know.

All I knew was that I liked what I liked, and right now I apparently had a thing for fallen Norse Gods.

Loki’s fingers had laced through my own and he held them in a crushing grip, as if he were afraid that were he to let go, I would disappear.  I stroked my thumbs over his, and listened to the ragged breathing from the other side of the ivy. 

I was at an utter loss.  I didn’t know what to say; what to _do_.  But what I _did_ know was that I had to set this right, even if it meant confessing to everything that had happened in Stuttgart.  That was sure to earn me another round of psych visits, and maybe even a field suspension for omitting that particular bit of info from my debriefing.  But at this point I didn’t really care.  What Loki and I had shared was _personal_.  It had no bearing on the outcome of Manhattan and it sure as hell didn’t earn him any extra loyalty from me. 

In fact, considering how things had played out between us, it actually did more to motivate me to stop Loki from following through on his plans.  Sure, I’d been operating under a cloud of anger and hurt, but I’d gotten the job done.  Fury could argue against that until he was blue in the face, and he probably would, but the fact remained that once Tasha knocked some sense back into me, I’d fallen in line and done my duty.  And that’s all that should matter.

“What will you do now,” Loki asked.  His voice was still hoarse, but his tone had steadied considerably and he seemed to have his emotions under control. 

Good thing, too, because I never really knew how to react to tears. 

“Well, once Odin gets the council together, I’m gonna go talk to them,” I said slowly.  “Thor’s hoping that once they know the truth then they’ll reduce your sentence.  He was pretty intent on proving that you weren’t the only one responsible for the invasion of Earth.”

I paused there, allowing Loki to take in my words before I continued.  “But there’s something else I need to do first.”

“Oh?  And what is that?”

“Gonna need my hands back for this,” I answered, untwining my fingers from Loki’s.  He let go reluctantly, fingertips brushing against mine gently before breaking contact.  “Now, stand back.”

“What are you doing,” Loki asked.

“You’ll see,” I returned.  “Just back up and gimme a minute.”

I studied the trellis that stood between us.  The lattice itself seemed to be formed from live saplings that had been woven together and then continued to grow, rooted alongside the ivy in a deep marble trough.  All it took was one quick push with my foot to realize I had no hope of actually moving the damn container; it was far too heavy.

“Fine,” I muttered.  “If I can’t go around you, then I’m going _through_.”

And with that, I wrapped my hands around the two saplings on the far right and pulled with all my strength.  There was a creaking groan from the green wood as it began to bend, slowly giving way.  I swore softly and grabbed a bit higher up the trunk, using my weight to pull the whole goddamn thing down.  With a muting tearing noise, the entire right side of the line of saplings uprooted and sagged down over me like a canopy.  I ducked from beneath the ruined trellis and slipped through the opening I’d created to stand before Loki.

The expression of shock on his face quickly gave way to one of rueful amusement.  “You could not simply use the door,” he asked.

Oh yeah.  The door.  Knew I’d forgotten something.

“Nope,” I replied, shooting him a quick grin.  “I’m half in the bag and all the way impatient.  Didn’t feel like taking the long way around.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Loki returned, mirroring my grin back at me as he took a step closer.  His eyes swept over me, drinking me in, and he murmured, “You are unchanged.  Precisely the same as the last time I saw you.”

“It hasn’t really been that long,” I shrugged.  “Just about six months.”

Loki’s smile faltered, and his eyes snapped up to meet mine.  “Only half a year,” he questioned, his tone holding an edge of horror.  “How is it that so little time has passed?”

“It just rolled along, like it always does,” I answered, giving him a curious look.  “I guess that when you’re doing time, the days seem to last a lot longer.”

“Yes, I suppose you have a point,” the god whispered, his gaze sliding to the side.  “It felt as if I had been imprisoned for an age.  I had no idea that it was only a few short months…and so much time left to serve.”  Loki’s voice trailed away, his expression troubled.

My brows drew together as I realized he was beginning to tremble slightly.  “You okay,” I asked, crossing the last few feet between us and trying to catch his eye.  I didn’t much care for the haunted look in that poison green stare.  It reminded me too much of Stuttgart.  “Loki?  Look at me.”

He shook his head, arms wrapping around himself to hold tight, and I swore I heard a tiny whimper bleed from his lips.

“What did they _do_ to you,” I asked, carefully reaching out to place my hand over his. 

Loki’s fingers immediately laced through mine, gripping desperately.  “I do not wish to speak of it,” he said firmly, spearing me with a direct look.  “Please.  Do not make me tell you.”

“Hey,” I said softly.  “I’m not gonna _make_ you do anything, okay?  If you don’t want to talk about it; then we won’t talk about it.”

“Thank you,” he breathed, squeezing my hand tighter.

“C’mere,” I murmured, pulling the god into the circle of my embrace.  “It’s gonna be okay, Loki.  I’ll make sure of it.”  I slid one hand up into his hair, the other twining around his waist, and I rested my forehead against the side of Loki’s throat.  “It’s all gonna be okay.”

The way he clung to me so intensely was making me really wonder what in the hell had been visited upon Loki in the name of ‘punishment’.  What had him so terrified that he wouldn’t even speak of his experiences?  My teeth ground together, and I bit back a growl as I considered the fact that not even four hours ago I’d been insisting that Loki deserved whatever he got.  But that was before I’d seen him; had a chance to speak with him. 

That was before I’d known the whole truth.

I tightened my hold on him then, nuzzling into his throat and breathing deeply of his scent.  He was still trembling, his whole body tense with barely restrained terror, and I wanted nothing more than to soothe his fear.  All my anger and pain had vanished with his confession, and I felt that warm, soft feeling begin to rise in my chest.  The one I’d felt in Stuttgart when he’d finally submitted to me; when he’d _begged_ for me.

This time I let it come.  I didn’t fight against it; didn’t shove it down into a dark corner of my mind and lie to myself about what I was feeling.  I couldn’t lie anymore.  I _did_ care what happened to Loki.  Yes, he deserved a measure of punishment for his crimes.  But not this.  No one deserved to be broken this completely.

That goddamn ache was back in my throat, and I couldn’t even begin to put what I wanted to say into words, so I did the one thing I knew I wouldn’t fuck up in some way.

I pulled back from that pale throat and brushed my lips across Loki’s, softly murmuring his name as I kissed him.

Loki stiffened in my arms at the first touch of my mouth to his before he hesitantly returned the kiss, his hands gripping the fabric of my shirt just a bit tighter.  His ragged, hitching breaths deepened into a soft moan, and as my tongue teased across his lower lip, the god panted out, “Wait.”

“Why,” I questioned as I scratched my nails gently against his scalp, pulling a shiver from him.  “We’ve waited long enough, I think.”

Leaning back, Loki caught my eye and answered simply, “Heimdall.  I was hidden from his gaze during my time on Midgard, but we do not have that luxury here.  In fact, I am somewhat surprised he did not send guards the moment you tore down the barrier on the balcony.”

I briefly shut my eyes, brow furrowing as I huffed out a frustrated sigh.  I’d completely forgotten about Asgard’s version of Homeland Security.

“He can’t watch _all_ the time, can he,” I asked.  “I mean…he has to look away sometimes when things get a little…personal, right?”

Loki huffed out a small, tired laugh.  “I cannot say, as we have never discussed such.  One would hope he would have that much decency, at least.”

“I suppose he’s watching right now,” I mused, turning my gaze toward the edge of the city, and the Bifrost beyond.  “Hang on.  I’m gonna try something.”

“Hey Heimdall,” I said slowly, feeling like a total idiot spitting requests into thin air.  “If you’re listening, I need a favor.  Could you maybe, I dunno, check in on someone else for about an hour or so?  I promise I’m not gonna do anything stupid like try and break Loki outta here.  Odin’s wards wouldn’t let me anyway.  And Loki’s magic is gone, so I can guarantee that I’m acting under my own power.  This is something I _want_ to do…and considering the day I’ve had at the hands of your people, I think you owe me this much.”

We waited for some sort of answer; a sign that the Watcher had at least heard me.  After a full minute I let out a soft, “Oh.”  Loki gave me a curious look as I continued.  “And one last thing.  Sorry for that crack about your helmet.  I’m just having a really fucked up day and that makes me sorta rude.”

“Look,” Loki said quietly, inclining his head.  “I believe you have your answer, my Hawk.”

Far below, the Bifrost was pulsing rhythmically.  The colors would build to an almost blinding white, and then fall back into the familiar rainbow hues before brightening again.  A small grin plucked at the corner of my mouth and I muttered, “Okay, enough with the Asgardian Morse code.  Gimme three blinks if you’re gonna let us have some alone time, okay buddy?”

There was an immediate reaction; three rapid flashes of light, and I smirked.  “Good man.  I knew you weren’t that much of a perv.”

Loki buried his face into my shoulder, snorting laughter.  I dropped a quick kiss to his throat and chuckled in return.  This really was shaping up to be the weirdest fucking day I’d had in well…ever.

“It seems we are blissfully alone,” Loki murmured.

“Sure does,” I rumbled, pulling him tighter against me.  “What’re we gonna do about that?”

“Oh, I can think of a few things,” the god answered lightly, his fingertips drawing small circles on my back as he gave me an appraising look.  “But first I have one question for you.”

“Yeah?  What’s that?”

“What sort of insult did you lever against the Watcher’s headpiece?  You have made me curious.”

I hid my wince against Loki’s throat, saying, “I’ll tell you later.  Let’s not waste what little time we have with small talk.” 

Maybe if I distracted him well enough he’d forget all about that, and I wouldn’t have to explain my little barb, and how it called his own sense of fashion into question. 

God, I hoped so, because if there was one thing that Loki _loved_ , it was that damned helmet.

“Fair enough,” he purred.  “Now.  Take me to bed, Clint.  I’ve been dreaming of this moment for far longer than you can ever imagine.”

“You’re not the only one, Princess,” I growled.  “Lead the way.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am considering calling chapter seven "ALL the SMUT!", so stay tuned and thanks for reading. 
> 
> And as always, I appreciate any and all comments/feedback!


	7. And Finally, This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The walls are down and there's nothing separating Loki and Clint any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that once again, this chapter got away from me. As such, the smut will be split into TWO chapters due to the extreme wordiness. Also, beware of Feels...they sort of snuck up on me. >.>

Loki pulled free from my arms and twined his fingers through mine, tugging me through the nearest archway and into his chamber.  It was fully dark outside now, throwing the room into shadow, yet what little I could see was fitting for the god.  Dark, burnished wood offset by the rich glimmer of gold, and the only accent color was his trademark green.  But truthfully, I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings. 

My eyes were on Loki.

He cast quick glances back at me, a faint smile playing upon his lips as he led me to his bed.  I kept waiting for this whole situation to feel weird.  It should feel weird, right?  But I just shoved that thought away, telling myself that I was over thinking again.  And when has that _ever_ been a good thing?

No.  I tended to do my best when I was acting on instinct.  Screw over thinking, and screw hesitation.  I knew what I wanted…for the first time in half a goddamn year I knew _exactly_ what I wanted…and he was right in front of me. 

I wasn’t going to let my asshole of a brain ruin this.

The bed was similar to mine; just larger, and the drapes that surrounded it were half drawn, making the interior even darker than the room in which it stood.  Loki turned to face me, that enigmatic smile plucking at the corner of his mouth as he sank down to perch on the edge of the mattress.  He drew me to him, slowly, until I was standing between his spread knees, his glimmering green gaze locked on my own. 

I bent my head to capture his mouth, nipping softly at his lower lip until he granted me entrance.  And as my tongue touched his own, Loki uttered a quiet, shuddering whimper.  The sound hit me low in the gut, unfurling a banner of heat within me that I’d been denying for six months.  I moaned in return, my mind showing me all the ways I could coax more of those wanton, needy sounds from the god beneath me. 

My hands came up, almost unbidden, to twine through Loki’s fall of ebony hair, and my fists tightened slowly as the kiss deepened.  Pulling his head back, I licked over the long line of his pale throat before biting down on the god’s thundering pulse, tearing a breathy squeal from him.  I drew back to give him a smug little grin, and Loki’s eyes burned up at me before he turned his head slightly to the side, proudly displaying my mark upon his throat.

“Missed this,” I panted, leaning back in to kiss him again.  “Missed _you_.”

“And I, you,” he murmured.  “I have thought of this time and again, all during my long days…away.  Being able to lose myself in the memory of our one brief night together has served to make my punishment almost bearable.”

Part of me preened at his admission, while another cringed.  I didn’t want to think of Loki reliving our encounter in order to take his mind off of his torture.  And even though he refused to speak on it, or even call it such, I _knew_ he had been tortured.  I knew the signs and hallmarks; I knew how it could change a person.  And the Loki before me was definitely changed.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what had been done to affect that change.  So I quieted that mouth with another blistering kiss. 

Loki responded eagerly, pulling me down atop him and letting his hands wander.  He stroked up my arms, across my shoulders, and then raked his nails slowly down my back to grasp my hips.  I drew in a sharp breath at the sting, and the god bucked beneath me, grinding up and allowing me to feel his arousal.

I swore softly and pulled one hand from Loki’s hair, slipping it between us to trace the hard line of his cock.  He twitched beneath my fingertips and I chuckled.  “And here I was wondering if you still wanted me as badly as last time.  Guess this is my answer.”

“Just as badly, if not more,” Loki said, pushing up his hips, seeking more friction.  “Before, I was unaware of exactly how skilled you were in the ways of the flesh.  Now I know _precisely_ the bliss you can visit upon me.”

“Heavy praise, Princess,” I gasped as one of the god’s hands left my hip to brush lightly against my own growing need.

“I am simply speaking the truth,” Loki replied.  “I seem to remember you suggesting last time that I should take that route.”

“Yeah,” I said breathily as he palmed my cock, squeezing firmly.  “I did.  Good to know you were listening.”

Loki gave an appreciative hum before thumbing open the button on my pants.  “I remember _everything_ you said in our time together,” he murmured as he lifted his head to capture my mouth again.

I lost myself in the heat of the kiss; the slow, steady burn that overflowed from my gut to spread through the entirety of my body.  My skin felt like it was on fire, and all I wanted was to have this moment last forever. 

Fuck the council; fuck the punishment hanging over Loki’s head; fuck the Asgardians, and fuck whatever the future might bring.  Because for the first time in far too long, everything felt _right,_ and I was bound and determined to enjoy that. 

Then Loki’s hand slipped down the front of my pants to loosely circle around my cock, and my racing thoughts came to a violent stop.  My vision tunneled until the only thing left was the two of us; a slack jawed assassin and the smirking god beneath him.

“Oh… _fuck_ ,” I moaned, my hips stuttering unbidden.  “Yes.  Put your hands on me.”

“Gladly,” Loki purred.  “You need not even ask, Clint, as I have been aching to do that very thing for far too long now.”

I held myself above Loki on trembling arms, my eyes fixed on his as he firmed his grip before giving a long, slow pull from base to tip.  I huffed out a strangled groan as the feel of his cool fingers caging my heated flesh. 

After Manhattan I’d closeted myself away, putting up a wall between myself and any physical pleasure.  I denied my needs just as staunchly as I’d denied my feelings…and as such, I’d almost forgotten how good it felt just to be touched. 

And as the god stroked me faster, harder, the tremors spread from my arms throughout my entire frame.

Loki’s mouth curved into a pleased smile at my reaction, and his eyes narrowed in a mischievous manner.  “I see you have missed my touch,” he murmured.

I nodded, not trusting my ability to string words together in a way that might make any sense.  And goddamn if what he said next didn’t almost break me completely.

His free hand slid around the nape of my neck, and Loki pulled me down until his lips were brushing against my ear.  His breath was warm; fanning against my skin as he cooed, “Shall we see how very much you’ve missed my mouth?  I wish to use it upon you, Clint.”

“Oh.  Please…” I gasped, burying my face in Loki’s throat as the memory of exactly how skilled he was with his mouth burned through my mind.   

With a slight chuckle and a sudden shifting of his weight, I found myself on my back, Loki astride my thighs as he gazed down, eyes bright with amusement.  I let out a throaty growl and bucked under him, nearly lifting the god off his knees as I canted my hips up, pointedly begging with my body.

“So impatient,” Loki chided.

“You love it,” I moaned as he continued to languidly stroke my cock.  “You love knowing how much I want you.  You get off on making me whimper and whine; feeling me strain for your touch.  C’mon, Loki.  Don’t make me wait anymore.  Let me have that mouth?”

A full body shudder ran through him at my words, and his gaze grew hooded with lust.  Seems I’d hit my target dead center; pushing one of Loki’s buttons yet again with deadly accuracy.  And the god bent low over me then, nipping at the lobe of my ear before murmuring, “Perhaps I should make you _beg_ for this mouth.”

My right hand tangled deep in his hair and I arched my hips up against Loki’s own, teasing a surprised gasp from the god.  “And maybe,” I growled, “I should make _you_ beg _me_ for the right to use that mouth, hmmm?”

“Then I fear we would find ourselves at an impasse,” Loki panted as he rocked back against me, his mouth twisted in a feral grin.  “As much as I wish you to beg for me, I also burn to taste you again.  And as much as I want to see the evidence of your need, I can scarcely hold myself back from rending the clothes from your very frame.”  He paused there, his poison green gaze crawling over me.  “I dream of bringing you to ruin with nothing more than my touch.”

“Well that would be a waste,” I said and tightened my fist in Loki’s hair.  “We both know you have a lot more to offer than just your touch.”

“You speak the truth,” the god gasped as I tugged his head to the side and ran my tongue over the sensitive dip under his ear.  “ _So_ much more.”

“Then show me, Loki,” I murmured.  “Show me everything you’ve got…”

The quiet moan he voiced sent a shiver down my spine, and I felt a fresh bloom of heat rise in my belly.  I rolled my hips, fucking myself into Loki’s firm grasp and arching beneath him as he slowly worked his way down my body, mouthing, licking and nipping all along the way. 

And fuck if he didn’t take his time.

Soft lips moved across my collarbones, a warm tongue lapped over the hollow at the base of my throat, sharp teeth closed over the peak of my nipple, biting down through the cloth of my shirt, and my head ground back into the bed as I cursed bitterly in response.  He hadn’t even hit my abdomen yet and I was already skating on the edge, half embarrassed by how quickly I’d gotten to this point.

Sure, he was still using that slender hand of his to tease and torment.  And yeah, the anticipation of having that mouth wrapped around me was _not_ helping me to keep my cool.  Still…no excuse.  I needed to get my focus back otherwise this would be over before it started.  And that would be a goddamn crime.

Loki’s free hand pushed up my shirt as he trailed lower, and I felt the burning heat of his mouth against the bare skin of my belly.  His tongue ran out to dip into my navel, and I twisted and bucked beneath him as a low, shuddering moan rose in my throat.  He licked a hot, wet stripe to my hip, and then scraped his teeth over the ridge of bone, making me yelp out a curse and grip his hair tighter.

“Please,” I gasped.  “Oh fuck, Loki… _please_!”

The god uttered a quiet chuckle before biting down on my hip and I sobbed in frustration.  The alcohol combined with my too long neglected need had broken me down, left me a shaking mess of want.  And he was so _close_ to where I wanted him…just inches away from giving me exactly what I craved.

“So lovely when you beg,” Loki murmured, giving one last swipe of his tongue over my lower belly.

I strained in his grasp, hips leaving the bed entirely as I panted out a final, choked, “ _Please_!”

“As you wish,” he said in a voice like smoke, and then I tensed as I felt the searing heat of Loki’s mouth envelop my insistent cock.  He pushed forward slowly, taking me in inch by inch, and I howled brokenly, my fist clenching tighter in his hair.

“Fuck!  Oh… _goddamn it_ ,” I panted, thighs trembling, stars exploding behind my tightly shut eyes.  “That _fucking_ mouth!”

Loki hummed in delight around the thick flesh stretching his jaws, continuing his forward motion until his lips brushed against my lower belly.  My hips stuttered, pumping helplessly between the god’s lips and I bit back a hiss at the feel of his throat so very tight around the head of my cock.  When Loki began to firmly swallow around me, I cracked my eyes open and looked down at him in awe, the sensation just this side of too much.

“Oh…just like that,” I whimpered.  “Don’t…don’t stop.”

Those poison green eyes narrowed the slightest bit at me in mute agreement that he would do no such thing.  That he would continue on until I begged him to stop, and even then, he might just continue.

I held Loki’s gaze as he backed off a bit, taking a deep breath through his nose before surging forward again, the flat of his tongue pressed firmly to the underside of my flesh.  I rolled my hips, withdrawing as he moved back; thrusting as he swallowed me down.  I swore through gritted teeth at the heat and the wet and the sheer burning friction, feeling like the top of my head was about to blow off. 

This was too much and not enough all rolled into one, and it was driving me mad.

I wanted everything at once.  Loki spread open underneath me; thrusting harshly between his thighs, making him wail and gibber.  I wanted his eyes rolled back, sightless as he came, the burning brand of his come soaking into the skin of my chest.  I wanted his teeth in my throat, his nails in my back; the hot trickle of blood emanating from the half moons of pain he would gouge into me.  I wanted to be inside him, but I also wanted to roll to my hands and knees; to arch my back and beg him to take me, fuck me, claim me as his.

I wanted all that and more. 

But I wasn’t quite done with his mouth yet.

Splaying my hand across the base of his skull, I held the god in position as I snapped my hips up, fucking his pliant mouth.  He wriggled in my grasp, grinding his own neglected length against my leg, needy little noises leaking out from around my thick flesh.  The mead burning in my belly worked on loosening my tongue and I found myself babbling away as I drove deep again and again.

“Dreamed of this,” I groaned.  “Dreamed of _you_.  Stuttgart left me wanting more.  Wasn’t enough, just that once.  Dunno what it is about you…but you made me… _hungry_.  Dunno know why or how you got under my skin like you did.  But I couldn’t get you _out_.  Couldn’t stop thinking of you.  And my head said it was _wrong_ ; that _I_ was wrong.  But my body said something else entirely.”  I paused there, staring steadily into Loki’s eyes, glittering green and gone wide at my words. 

“Got so twisted up, trying to figure that out,” I continued quietly.  “It _hurt_ when you put me back under.  And it hurt more when you left me on the Helicarrier.  Tried to tell myself that it didn’t…but it did, Loki.  It fucking _hurt_.  I just…I wanted to stay with you.  I knew it was wrong.  That what you were doing was wrong.  But I wanted you.  Still do.”

Loki pulled back, letting my cock fall free from his mouth as he hovered over me.  I watched as a myriad of emotions cycled through those eyes, and finally he replied in a small, contrite voice, “Would that we had met at another time; in another place.  Perhaps then…”

“Wasn’t done talking yet,” I cut in, my hand sliding down to grip the nape of his neck lightly.  “Can’t change the past, and what happened before?  It doesn’t _matter_.  Not now.  Now that I know the truth of it.  Let the past stay dead, and the future bring whatever it’s gonna bring.  You’re here now, with me, and that’s _all_ that matters.”

In the gloom, I could barely make out the wet gleam in Loki’s eyes, or the way he blinked back the tears that threatened.  But I could definitely hear the way his voice trembled when he spoke.  “Thank you,” he said, his tone ragged with barely suppressed emotion.  “Thank you for allowing me another chance at having that which I so desire.  I had thought you would carry nothing but hatred for me…especially after my actions in Stuttgart.”

“Not gonna lie,” I answered.  “For a while, I did hate you.  But that was before.  And even when I did hate you?  I still wanted you.  Which is why my head was so fucked up over all this.  Wasn’t sure how I could have both those feelings in me for one person.”

I pulled Loki up by the nape of his neck, pressing my mouth to his in a rough kiss.  “But now none of that matters anymore.  I think we both deserve a fresh start.”

He eagerly returned the kiss, almost frantic in his desire, and I rocked my hips up to grind against his still hidden arousal.  “Enough talk now,” I murmured, nipping at his lower lip.  “I wanna _show_ you how I feel.”

“Yes,” Loki breathed.  “Please, my Hawk.  I have waited so long…”

“We both have,” I said, my free hand sliding down the curve of his spine to grasp his hip, plucking at the fabric of his breeches.  “No more waiting.  I want you bare…now.  I wanna see all of you.”

Loki tensed in my grasp, his wide eyes conveying the slightest measure of panic at my request.  My brows drew together as I studied him and the way he seemed to curl into himself, crouched over me as if he were about to bolt.

“Are you okay,” I asked slowly, lifting myself to my elbows.  “Did I say something wrong?”

Loki’s eyes slid to the side and he gave a small shake of his head, his mouth drawn into a thin line.  “No,” he answered quietly.  “I…just…I haven’t let…”  His words trailed away and he huffed out a deep sigh before lifting his hands to hesitantly undo the laces holding his tunic shut.

I watched as he untied the rough cords, mystified by his reaction.  But when he drew the shirt off over his head and dropped his gaze, then I understood.

“Oh god,” I breathed.  “Loki.  No.”

His torso was covered with a series of mottled bruises in every ugly shade of the rainbow.  Purple, blue, black and maroon, all fading into a sickly yellow at the edges.  A garden of pain bloomed across that formerly pale and pristine skin I remembered so fondly.  That in and of itself would have been enough to spark my rage, but the raised and crusted welts that criss-crossed his thin frame sent me right the fuck over the edge.

“Who did this to you,” I demanded, my voice low and sharp as the whip tails that had marred his flesh.

“Someone far beyond the reach of your ire,” he said quietly, crossing his arms over his chest in a self conscious attempt to hide the damage done.  “Do not concern yourself with such.  It was simply my punishment, and I weathered it.  I survived.”

“Fuck that,” I growled.  “That’s not punishment!  That’s…torture.”

“How does one break a god,” he murmured.  “How do you bring low an immortal?  Through pain and humiliation; through subjecting them to a never ending cycle of torment all while reiterating exactly what they have done so very wrong.  One must be broken in order to be remade.”

 I pushed myself up, my hands raising to hover over the worst of the marks on Loki’s skin.  I was in a black fucking rage; I wanted the head of whoever had done this; wanted to subject them to the same punishment and listen to their screams for mercy.  And when they begged, tears spilling and breath coming ragged, I wanted to put the whip to them just that much harder. 

No one deserved _this_.  Never this.

But I knew that the chance of me ever coming across the one that had doled out this treatment was slim to none…so I buried my rage deep and dipped my head to catch Loki’s gaze.  “Does it still hurt,” I asked quietly.

“It has mostly faded to a dull ache,” he answered hollowly.

My throat tightened at his tone, and I lightly traced one of the welts with my fingertips.  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, and then bent my head to gently kiss his wounds.

The god uttered a surprised gasp, his arms falling slack to his sides as I turned, lowering him slowly to the bed and set about softly kissing each and every mark upon his skin, murmuring apologies all the while.


	8. Take What You Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the world shrinks down to two...all cares and worries fall away...and the boys are alone.

Loki’s breath hitched and his entire body shuddered beneath my lips as I kissed every bruise and welt within my reach.  I tried to wipe my mind free from the simmering rage I felt, and just focus on this small show of kindness instead, but it was next to impossible with the evidence of his mistreatment staring me right in the face. 

The god held his silence as I worked, the only sound in the room that of his strained breathing. 

I stroked his flanks lightly, reverently, letting my fingertips trace the curve of his ribs before capturing Loki’s right hand, lacing our fingers together.  He griped tightly, desperately, and I gave a reassuring squeeze, saying with my motions that I was right there.  I wasn’t going anywhere.

Finally, I licked a long, wet stripe up the center of his sternum and leaned in to capture his mouth once more in a slow, gentle kiss.  When I pulled back I caught sight of the damp tracks leading from the corners of those emerald eyes and disappearing into his hairline.  My heart leapt into my throat, and I silently cursed myself, thinking I must have caused him pain somehow.

“Hey, no,” I murmured.  “No, no, no.  Don’t cry.  Please?  Did I hurt you?”

“Not at all,” Loki whispered.

“Then what,” I questioned, holding myself above the prone god, staring deep into those eyes misted by tears.

“Simply your kindness,” he replied softly.  “It has been an age since any showed me such care.  I had forgotten what that was like.”

I bit back the growl I wanted to voice at his words, instead lifting our entwined hands to kiss the back of Loki’s palm before pulling free from his grip.  Then I wiped away his tears with my thumb, saying firmly, “No more of those.  I suck at tears.  They make me want to fix whatever caused ‘em…and by fix I usually mean punch somebody.”

Loki gifted me with a tiny smile.  “My protector,” he said fondly, and with a start, I realized that that was exactly the role I now found myself occupying.

For months I’d _hated_ the man beneath me.  Hated him with a passion that curdled my blood and set my teeth on edge.  Even the sound of his name was enough to make me clench my jaw and glare at whoever had dared mention the god while in my presence.  But all the while I’d carried that spark inside me…that minute, burning ember of want.  Once I laid eyes on Loki again, once his gaze met mine, all of that emotion I’d kept caged inside was thrown into turmoil. 

The way he’d knelt, bowed and broken before Odin had brought a slew of new feelings to the surface.  It birthed a protectiveness that was like nothing I’d ever felt, and that sorta scared me a little.  And the immediate rage I’d felt when he’d revealed his wounds was almost impressive in its intensity.  I’d managed to stuff it down, ignoring the beast inside that howled for blood; telling myself that all I could do at this point was comfort my broken god.

And then came his confession, and that hatred was snuffed out like a candle in a strong wind.  And wasn’t that a weird feeling?  Something I’d carried for so long, nurtured and fed…just…gone without a trace.

“Looks like you need a protector right about now,” I ground out, trying, and failing to ignore the riot of bruises that marked the lean frame beneath me. 

“Indeed,” Loki mused and lifted his hand to curl around the nape of my neck, his nails scratching lightly.  “And who better suited for that job than you?”

“I _do_ have a unique skill set,” I murmured, leaning in to brush my lips across his.

“Show me,” Loki whimpered, nipping at my lower lip.  “Please, Clint?  Show me _all_ your varied skills.”

“With pleasure,” I smirked. 

I stood to my feet and quickly stripped myself bare, flinging my clothes off to the side without a second thought.  My hands slid up Loki’s thighs to the fastenings of his breeches and his breath stilled as I worked them open.  He lifted his hips as I peeled the material off, leaving him fully exposed to my eyes.  Even with all the emotional upheaval the last fifteen minutes had brought, Loki was as achingly hard as that first time in Stuttgart.  I gave a pleased growl and teased my fingertips over his length, watching as the muscles of his belly trembled in response to my attentions.

“Please,” he gasped, writhing on the bed, his back arching and eyes drifting shut in bliss from the tiniest of touches.  “Oh _please_ , my Hawk.  More.”

“Absolutely,” I breathed.  “Just…gonna have to be careful so I don’t hurt you worse.”

Loki’s brows drew together at my words, and he captured his lower lip between his teeth, giving a quick nod.  “Of course,” he murmured.

I crawled up the bed, sitting with my back against the headboard, legs splayed before me.  “C’mere,” I beckoned and stretched out my hand to pull the dark god to me. 

Loki gave me that tiny, enigmatic smile of his as he settled over my thighs, knees snugged in tight to my hips.  “Like so,” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered, circling my right hand around both of our arousals as my left stroked down his spine to the cleft of his ass.  “Just like that.”

The god gave voice to a small gasp and rocked his hips forward, fucking himself into my loosely held fist.  I echoed him with a low moan at the friction of his heated flesh against my own.  Loki’s hands came up to settle on my shoulders and he held my gaze as he began to move atop me, his thighs flexing as he thrust and withdrew, thrust and withdrew.  I swore softly at the sinuous motion of his body, caught in the burning stare of those poison green eyes as he panted raggedly.

“More,” he demanded.

“Greedy,” I chuckled and gave a long, slow pull to our combined girth. 

Loki whimpered and dropped his head forward, brows drawing together and his lips parting slightly as a low moan built in his chest.  I twisted my hand around and over the head of his cock, and then stroked back down to the base to squeeze and release.  And even as I teased the hardened flesh in my grip, I slipped the fingers of my left hand deeper to ghost over his entrance.

A small, soft “Oh,” was his response, and then he was pushing back against my questing fingers, enveloping me in his tight heat. 

“That’s it,” I murmured.  “Take what you need, Loki.”

There was a nearly inaudible whisper from the god astride me, and suddenly my fingers were slicked and gliding deeper into his body.  I held my position, allowing him to set the pace and depth as his eyes bored into mine.  Then he was arching down to mouth along my throat, pleading, “ _More_ ,” against my thundering pulse.

I gasped at the press of Loki’s sharp, even teeth at the crook of my shoulder, and as he licked over the sting, I bucked my hips up, grinding my cock against his.  He shifted his weight, rocking faster as his hands clutched tighter at my shoulders.

“Please, please, please,” Loki chanted, his voice gone rough with lust.  “Fill me up, Clint.  Give me _more_.”

 “ _Fuck_.  Love it when you beg,” I moaned.  “Keep that up, Princess, and you can have _whatever_ you want.”

“Is that all I need do,” the god asked as he rolled his hips.  “Such a simple request.”

“I’m a simple guy,” I replied and crooked my fingers, searching for that hidden spot that was Loki’s undoing.

“You are anything _but_ that, my Hawk,” Loki panted, and then stiffened above me as I found my target.

I sent a rakish grin up at the slack-jawed god, pressing my fingertips firmly against that sensitive patch of flesh and thrilling to the stuttering gasp he voiced in response.

“Again with the praise,” I mused.  “Flattery doesn’t usually work on me, but this?  I could get used to this.”

Loki mewled and rolled his hips back against me, trying to take me even deeper.  I pulled nearly free and worked a third finger into him, noting the flush that was rising in his cheeks, spilling over to stain his throat and chest.  I drove deep into him while moving my right hand faster over his now leaking length, smearing his pre-come over our combined girth.

“You almost ready for me,” I asked, stretching up to nip at his ear.

“So _very_ ready,” he breathed in response, snapping his hips forward and sighing at the silken glide of his flesh against mine.

“Good,” I growled.  “You’re not the only greedy one, you know.  And I wanna feel you wrapped around me.  Wanna hear you moan when I fill you so fucking full.”

“Yes,” he gasped.  “Take me, Clint.  Make me yours.  _Please_?”

“Told you, Princess,” I murmured.  “Take what you need.  I’m here to deliver.”

And with that, Loki rose to his knees, uttering a small whimper at the loss of my fingers stretching him open.  He shifted his weight forward, reaching beneath himself to grasp my cock and guide it where he was most wanting.  My breath caught in my throat, and I let out a low hiss from between clenched teeth as Loki slowly sank down, taking every inch of me into his searing heat.

“Fuck,” I snarled, fighting the urge to clamp my hands onto his hips and rut deep between his spread thighs. 

I didn’t want this to be just a violent release of need. 

I needed it to be more than that; to show my god exactly how much I missed him.  How much I _wanted_ him.

The whining little moans leaking from Loki’s lips were not helping me to hold back.  I needed more of those low noises of lust; his voice ragged and wanting and so full of bliss.  I didn’t give a shit as to my own pleasure right then; I was fully focused on making him come apart.  I wanted his screams of release echoing in my ears; the burning streaks of his come soaking into my chest.  And as Loki took the final bit of my cock, snugging his hips down tight against my belly, I circled my hand firmly around his insistent length and began to stroke.

“Yes,” he cried out, tossing his head back and turning unseeing eyes to the canopy overhead.  “Oh, by the Nine, Clint…- _yes_ -!”

“Move,” I growled, while giving a long, slow pull to his cock.  “Show me how much you want me.”

Loki’s head dropped forward, and he fixed his eyes upon mine.  Even in the deepening gloom, his gaze shimmered, catching what little light there was and seeming to softly glow.  I gave a shallow thrust of my hips, teasing a gasp from the god astride me.

“Move,” I repeated.  “You’re in charge this time, Loki.  I’m following your lead.”

The corner of Loki’s mouth curled up into a smug smile, and he lifted himself slightly before sinking back down.  He circled his hips, rocking slowly as his breath came faster.  I panted raggedly, my eyes locked on his as he found his rhythm, watching closely at the play of emotion across his face.  Loki whimpered softly as he moved, and his hands stroked gently over my chest before he braced himself and bent low over me. 

I brought my free hand up to tangle in long, dark hair and dragged Loki down to capture his mouth in a blistering kiss, swallowing down the god’s moans as he moved faster.  I snapped my hips up to meet him, biting back a growl at the heat and the friction and the clenching tightness of Loki’s body wrapped around my thick cock. 

I’d waited so long…wanted so much…and now he was here, right where I needed him.  It was almost enough to break me completely.  

The god pulled back, licking across my slack mouth and shining a grin down at me, almost as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. 

“And is this what you have yearned for, my Hawk?  Is this what you have dreamed of these long months past,” Loki purred.

I sank my teeth into my lower lip and ground my head back into the pillows, giving a slight nod by way of reply.  Really, all I’d wanted, all I dreamed of was Loki.  The _how_ and the _where_ and the _why_ never seemed to matter quite as much as the _who_. 

As long as I had him, then ultimately, that was all that mattered to me.

I gasped as Loki molded himself to my chest and mouthed my throat, nipping and licking over my thundering pulse, tasting the salt of my skin.  He rutted his hips forward, pushing his cock more firmly into my fist as he quietly murmured, “Please, Clint…I cannot hold back much longer.  Bring me to ruin?  Make me come undone…”

“Fuck,” I groaned.  “Thought you’d never ask.”

I tightened my fingers deep in Loki’s hair, gathering a fistful at the nape of his neck and pulling him closer until there was barely any space between us.  He rocked faster, hands slipping up to once again clasp my shoulders and he brushed his lips over my own, breathing out a soft, “Yes.  Harder,” as I stroked his length.  

“Come for me, Loki,” I panted, tilting my hips up, driving deeper into him even as I worked his heated flesh.  “Wanna feel you so fucking tight around me when I spill.  Milk me for every drop?  Please?”

His steady rhythm began to falter, the measured pace he’d enacted stuttering as tremors rose in those lean thighs that bracketed my hips.  I could feel him shaking; hear the way his breath hitched, the slightest whisper of a moan caged behind clenched teeth as I moved beneath him; within him.

“So…close,” Loki keened.  “Hold nothing back, my Hawk… _please_!?”

I flicked my tongue over the shell of Loki’s ear before breathing out, “Don’t want to hurt you.  But I think you can take what I have to give easily enough, can’t you?”

He nodded, eyes wide and burning with a deep seated hunger.  I bucked beneath him, arching my hips up and twisting the palm of my hand over the head of his cock as I surged into him, tearing a strangled cry from deep in the god’s chest.  Loki uttered a low, needy sob and stiffened as his orgasm suddenly crashed down upon him. 

“That’s it,” I cooed, as his heat spilled over my fingers and down to pool upon my belly.  “Come for me.  Just for me…”

The god trembled and shook in my grasp, writhing in wanton abandon; muted curses and hissing breaths filling the space between us.  “Come with me,” he gasped, his voice ragged and blown with lust.  “Fill me up, Clint.  I’ve been dreaming of such for _so_ very long now.  I need your heat to remind me that I’m alive.  Make me _feel_ again.”

And if that didn’t sting…hearing that he’d been dreaming of this; dreaming of _me_ all during his time away.  But I’d be goddamned if I’d let his words give me pause. 

No. 

I was going to deliver exactly what we both needed, and fuck all the pain and angst that kept rearing its’ ugly head and trying to ruin this.

My hand slipped from Loki’s hair to clasp the nape of his neck tightly and I tugged him down to meet my mouth.  And as I slicked my tongue over his own I drove deep between his spread thighs, allowing that last tenuous thread of restraint to snap.  The tension coiled at the base of my spine let go, and with a low snarl, I was coming.  The god’s back arched, and his eyes snapped to mine, holding my burning gaze as I filled him to overflowing, and my hips twitched and stuttered, fucking the last bit of my too long pent-up lust into the pliant body above me.

“C-coming,” I stuttered.  “Oh…- _fuck_ -…Loki, I’m coming.  Can you feel me?” 

“Yes, my Hawk,” he answered smugly.  “I can feel every last bit of you.  Every single drop.  And all for me.”

“All for you,” I agreed.  “Whenever and however you want me.”

Loki dropped his head, pressing his face against the side of my throat, nuzzling lightly.  My arms wound around his back, seemingly on instinct, and almost before I realized it, I was cradling my broken god.  Loki uttered a pleased little hum, and snuggled deeper into my arms. 

“Thank you,” he murmured.  “You haven’t the slightest idea what a gift you have given me.”

“Oh, I think I might have a better idea than you realize,” I replied, stifling a yawn with the back of my hand. 

Loki gave me a rueful smile.  “Have I worn you out so completely,” he asked.  “Or do you simply find my company that boring?”

“Shut up,” I said fondly.  “I’ve had a really long day and too much mead on top of all that.  And yeah, you definitely wore me out.  So shoot me if I’m ready for a nap.”

The god pulled back slightly, stroking one hand through my hair before stating, “You should go, then.  You’ll need your rest for whatever tomorrow brings.”

“Who said anything about me going anywhere,” I asked, yawning again.  “I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

Loki’s brows drew together and he looked like he was about to argue that my staying in his room would be a bad idea all around.  That it would be frowned upon if our…fraternization were discovered.

And then he realized that I didn’t give one single, solitary fuck about any of that, and instead held his silence. 

“C’mere,” I mumbled, drawing Loki back down to lay against me.  I tucked his soft, dark head under my chin, and pressed a quick kiss to his crown before closing my eyes.  “Sleep now…argue later.”

Loki snorted in amusement and wriggled against me until he found a comfortable position.  “That is what I’m afraid of,” he replied.  “So many arguments.”

“And you’re the Silvertongue,” I muttered, poised on the verge of unconsciousness.  “’F you can’t argue your way out, then I’ll start punching.  It’ll be okay.”

“I certainly hope so,” Loki whispered.  “But we shall see…”

 

 


	9. Rising With the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visitor, a strong dose of emotion and Thor's questions are finally answered.

I woke to a furious bellow.  Shoving myself upright, I winced at the vague pounding in my head and made a quick mental note never to drink quite that much mead at one go ever again.  Cracking my eyes open, I was met with the sight of a royally pissed off God of Thunder standing at the end of the bed, glaring daggers at Loki.

“What have you done,” he demanded. 

Loki slid from the bed, wrapping himself in the dark green comforter as he heatedly replied, “Nothing you need concern yourself with, brother.”

“Nothing,” Thor questioned, his gaze darting to me before swinging back to Loki.  “This very much looks like something I should find concerning!  The Hawk is under my protection during his time here, and if you have meddled with his mind again…”

“I have done nothing of the sort!”

“And how am I to be certain of that,” Thor growled, his eyes narrowing.  “You are well known for your deceitful ways.”

“Those days are long past,” Loki hissed.  “And my magic has been bound!  You know this!  How dare you even suggest…”

“Um, guys,” I broke in.  “Hello?  I’m right here, you know.  You can quit talking about me like I can’t hear you.”

“I dare because I _know_ you, Loki,” Thor shouted.  “I know to what lengths you will go to gain something you desire!”

Loki stiffened at his brother’s accusation.  “You know _nothing_ of me,” he snarled.  “And your suspicions wound me, _brother_.  I find it telling that Barton is more readily accepting of my redemption than you!”

Thor’s face drew down into an impressive grimace, and he firmed his grip on Mjolnir.  “The Hawk has not had to suffer a millennia of your lies.  As such, he would accept your ‘change’ quicker than I, even though you wronged him most grievously of all.”

“Guys,” I barked.  “C’mon.  There’s no need for all this.  Settle down!” 

Thor continued glaring at Loki, almost as if he hadn’t heard me speak, and my patience, paper thin at best, shredded into nothing.

I reached over to the bedside table and snagged a tiny wooden carving of a deer and side armed it directly at Thor’s forehead, while bellowing, “THAT’S _ENOUGH_!”

The figurine flew true, hitting the blonde god square between the eyes.  I had a moment of abject terror as his leonine head swung my way, and I saw the crackle of electricity in his glare.  He took a step toward the bed, and I raised my hands, saying, “Sorry!  But you wouldn’t fucking LISTEN to me!  Jesus, Thor!  If you want to know what’s going on, why don’t you just _ask_?!”

“It is apparent what has happened here,” Thor replied stiffly.  “And I am far more versed in Loki’s tricks than you, Barton.  I would hear the explanation from Loki first.  Forgive me if I seem circumspect, but it was less than a day ago that you seemingly had nothing but venom and hatred concerning my brother.”

Loki turned and levered a frustrated look at me.  I sighed and waved my hand at him, saying, “Go ahead and tell him everything.  Better he hears it now instead of springing it on him when I talk to the council.” 

With a wince, I flopped back into the pillows, covering my eyes with my forearm and soundly cursing all Asgardians and their inability to respect a closed door.

And so Loki began to speak in a low, halting voice.  He started with the moment he arrived on Midgard and the unexpected attraction he’d felt for me.  I listened intently as he confessed his role in the invasion of Earth, admitting that he hadn’t held quite as much power as he’d pretended.  Thor held his silence through it all until Loki began to tell of our night in Stuttgart.

“Is this true, Clint,” he asked quietly.  “The thrall was removed from you?”

“Mostly,” I answered.  “I was able to say and do whatever I wanted…as long as that didn’t include trying to stop Loki from following through on his plans.”

“And you chose to…be with him,” Thor demanded.  “Why?”

“Because I _wanted_ to,” I sighed, sitting up and spearing the Thunderer with a pointed stare.  “Look.  I really don’t want to play a rousing game of ‘List The Reasons Why I Want To Fuck Thor’s Baby Brother’, okay?  Can we just agree that I’m a grown ass man, and that I did what I did in Germany because I wanted to?  And that goes for last night as well.”

Thor’s expression wavered for a moment before taking on a chagrined cast. 

“There are some things that you don’t need to know everything about,” I continued.  “And last night?  If Loki had done anything wrong, don’t you think Heimdall would have sounded the alarm?  He didn’t force me.  He didn’t drug me, or use any magic.  This was _my_ decision, and I even went so far as to _tell_ Heimdall that…just to avoid any confusion.  If you’re still worried, you can go ask him.”

Thor huffed out a deep breath before returning Mjolnir to his belt.  “Forgive me, Clint,” he mumbled.  “It would seem that once again I acted without thinking.”

“A particularly annoying habit of yours,” Loki snapped, turning his back to the blonde god. 

I studied the set of Loki’s jaw and the way he seemed to curl in on himself, studiously ignoring Thor’s very presence.  Seemed the nickname Liesmith only applied to his words, because the god’s body language made it very clear exactly how deeply Thor’s suspicions had affected him.

“Don’t think I’m the one you should be apologizing to, big guy,” I said softly, giving a slight nod in Loki’s direction.  “You didn’t falsely accuse _me_ of any wrong doings.”

Thor’s eyes clenched shut and he huffed out a deep sigh before reaching out to place a large hand on Loki’s shoulder.  The dark god shrugged him off, giving voice to a low growl before sinking to the edge of the bed, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor.

“Loki,” Thor murmured.  “Please.  I am sorry for my mistrust…but you must understand…”

“I understand perfectly,” Loki snapped.  “You will never believe me redeemed.  I will always be a monster…nothing more.”

“That is not true!”

“No?  Yet another lie falls from my lips!  And with what _ease_ ,” he paused there, uttering a strangled laugh that held an edge of hysteria.  “How right you are to mistrust me!”

“Brother,” Thor whispered, a pleading tone creeping into his voice.  “I-I just need time.  Too much has passed between us…too much betrayal.  That cannot be wiped away overnight!”

Loki snorted and shook his head.  “Why bother?  There will always be a seed of suspicion deep in your heart.  Planted by my choices and actions.  Time will not heal that particular wound.”

“Okay, stop,” I ground out.  “Now is not the time or place for this.  Thor’s right, Loki.  He’s gonna need time…and you’re gonna need to stop lashing out every time you get your feelings hurt.”

The dark god’s eyes snapped up to meet mine, and he gave me a sour look.

“What,” I asked.  “I’ve seen how touchy you get.  Don’t try and pretend that you don’t.  Look.  You guys are _brothers_.  Maybe not by blood, but family isn’t always defined by DNA, dammit.  No matter how fucked up your history is, you’re brothers and you’ll find a way to work this out.  If not…well, you’ll regret it.  Trust me.”

“And how can you be so very certain of that,” Loki asked stiffly. 

“Because I used to have a brother,” I fired back.  “And things happened that drove a wedge between us.  We never worked it out…just…washed our hands of each other and went our separate ways.” I paused there, firming my jaw and giving my head a slight shake before continuing.  “I regret that almost every goddamn day.  So _that’s_ why I’m certain.  I’m sort of an expert on losing family.”

Loki’s expression softened and Thor murmured quietly, “I am sorry, Clint.  I did not know.”

“Why would you?  It’s not something I advertise, really.  In fact, I try not to think about it, because it fucking hurts.”  I gave each of the gods a pointed look, holding their gazes in turn.  “Don’t let that happen here, okay?  You guys have a lot longer to stew in regrets than I do.  Don’t give up on each other.”

Thor stepped closer, hesitating for a moment before laying his hand once again on Loki’s shoulder.  The dark god briefly clenched his eyes shut and then raised his own hand to cover Thor’s.

“Forgive me,” Loki breathed.  “It seems that despite the many changes I have undergone, I still struggle with my venomous words.”

“It is forgiven, brother,” Thor rumbled.  “I act without thought, and you speak in the same manner.  Quite a pair we make.”

The corner of Loki’s mouth quirked up into a rueful smile and he squeezed Thor’s hand.  “As always, one compliments the other; offering that which the other lacks.  You have strength while I have knowledge.  You are a man of action, while I rely on words.  You are the bright, golden sun, and I am the pale moon, reflecting back your light.”

“Nay,” Thor soothed.  “You shine with your own light, Loki.  And we simply provide…balance.  Neither of us is the more important; neither can exist without the other.  I am sorry that you ever believed differently.”

Loki’s eyes grew wide at Thor’s reassurances, and he swallowed thickly before nodding.  “Thank you,” he whispered.  “For a time I lost my way.  I listened too closely to the destructive little voice in my head that insisted I’d been slighted.  That I would never be your equal.  But I _have_ changed, brother.  And someday, I will not only convince you of such, but also regain your trust.”

“I welcome that,” the blonde god said with a smile.  “It will be wonderful to have you restored, Loki.  I have missed the way things once were between us.  I have missed my brother.”

Loki offered a tentative smile and dropped his gaze before answering sheepishly, “I have missed my brother as well.  But my stubborn pride would not allow me to admit such.”

Thor gave a pleased hum, affectionately ruffling Loki’s already sleep mussed hair.  “I had hoped some small part of you still wished for my companionship.  That a spark of your former self remained hidden deep inside.”

I allowed myself a small grin as I watched two of the most powerful beings I’d ever encountered give in to their sentimental side.  Even after all that Loki had wrought, it was easy to see how much Thor loved him.  And for as hard as Loki played at being, something told me he’d always carry a soft spot for his brother.  I gave them a few more minutes to get out all their mushiness before I interrupted.

“Ok, Jesus…you two are gonna give me cavities if you keep this up.  Thor?  I assume you had a reason for stopping by?”

“I did, indeed,” the blonde god said quickly.  “Odin has informed me that the council will meet this evening in order to hear the Hawk’s testimony.”  Thor speared Loki with a hopefully look.  “I came to talk to you, Loki.  To ask if this time you will speak in your own defense.  Will you?”

Loki’s expression grew troubled, and he cast a quick glance my way before turning back to Thor.  “Do you _truly_ think that will make any difference, brother?”

“I do,” Thor answered eagerly.  “I think that holding your silence will only make it appear that you have something to hide.”

“He’s right,” I added.  “Nothing makes a man look more guilty than when he won’t answer questions.”

“And if they do not believe,” Loki asked.  “If they think I am lying simply to save my own skin?”

“Then I’ll set ‘em straight,” I growled.  “I was there and I know what I saw.  I got your back on this one, Princess.”

“As do I,” Thor intoned.  “I will do all I can to ensure your punishment does not outweigh your crimes.  This I swear to you, Loki.”

The small, pleased smile that plucked at the dark god’s mouth didn’t quite mesh with the faint look of trepidation in his eyes. 

I knew what he was thinking; that expecting mercy from the council was a fool’s hope.  That he deserved nothing less than what he’d already been handed, and that I was no more likely to be believed than he was himself.  I saw all of this in the minute crease between his eyebrows, and the tension around his mouth; I read all this in the fleeting expressions that darkened his gaze.

So I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes, giving him a look that said I would brook no arguments when it came to this subject.  I would tell my tale; demanding to be heard…and to be believed.  And god help the council member that decided to call me a liar…

Hell, I’d already punched two Asgardians in less than a 24 hour period.  Might as well go for broke, right?

That long suffering sigh came again, and Loki gave a slight nod.  “Then yes,” he murmured.  “I will speak in my defense.”

Thor’s face split into a wide grin and he yanked Loki into a tight hug, pulling him up from the bed so suddenly that he nearly lost his grip on the blanket draped around his middle.  I burst out laughing at the undignified squawk of surprise Loki let out before demanding to be turned loose. 

Thor chuckled and released him, saying, “I will return for you later this evening, near to sunset.  Be ready.  Both of you.”  And with that, he took his leave.

Loki stood quietly at the side of the bed, staring after Thor for a long minute.  I could see the wheels turning in his head; dread threatening to rise up and consume him.

“Hey,” I murmured.  “Snap out of it.  Come back to bed, and we’ll worry about the council later.  Okay?”

“That sounds like a fine plan,” he replied, and slipped in to curl against my side. 

I wrapped my arms around his lean frame, molding him to me, and buried my face in his hair, breathing deeply of his unique scent.  “One way or another, it’s gonna be okay.  I’ll make sure of it.”

“I have faith that you will,” Loki answered softly. 

“Good,” I murmured as I stroked my hand lightly down his spine.  And as Loki’s breathing deepened, I lay there wide awake and hoping I hadn’t just lied to my god.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time draws near for Loki and Clint to face the council

It was several hours later when my eyes next cracked open.  The pounding in my head had lessened, and the sun hung lower in the sky, casting great swathes of golden light across Loki’s chamber.  I lay motionless, the hard press of the still sleeping god against me as my gaze roamed over the room.  It had been far too dark to discern much of my surroundings the previous night, so I took the opportunity to indulge my curiosity.

The first thing I noticed was the overabundance of books.  Books overflowing from the tall cases that lined the room.  Great stacks of them next to a writing desk.  Piles covering the top of a dresser.  Hundreds and hundreds of tomes everywhere that I looked.

Not surprising, really.  From the earliest moments of my time with Loki, his thirst for knowledge was apparent.  He wanted to know _everything_ and had a million and one questions.  ‘What is this thing?’ and ‘How does it work?’ and “What purpose does this serve?’.  He was like a two year old.  A giant, megalomaniac two year old that wanted to rule the world.

Which, come to think about it, isn’t _really_ all that different from an average toddler.

The mental image that accompanied that thought prompted a low chuckle, and Loki stirred at my side.  He gave a sleepy murmur, and then stretched expansively before his eyes drifted open.

“Morning, Princess,” I rumbled.

Loki’s gaze slid to the archways and the bright sunlight beyond before returning to me.  “It seems we have slept away the morning, my Hawk.  Perhaps a ‘good afternoon’ would be more apt?”

“Nah,” I shrugged.  “Whenever my eyes peel open, that’s morning for me.”

“As you wish,” he smiled.  “And how did you sleep?”

“Better the second time around,” I answered.  “Plus, I always prefer to wake up on my own without anyone yelling at me.”

“Yes,” Loki agreed.  “I apologize for Thor’s intrusion.  He has never been one to respect the privacy of the bedchamber.”

“No harm done,” I returned.  “Plus, you two managed to work out a few things, so I suppose it was a good thing he showed up when he did.”

Loki nodded and rested his chin on my chest, spearing me with his bright gaze.  “I would have preferred had you not been caught in the midst of that.”

I reached out and combed my fingers through his tousled mane, murmuring, “I’m a big boy.  A few harsh words aren’t gonna kill me.”

“No, I did not think they would.  But still…”  Loki’s words trailed away, and he leaned up to press a quick kiss to my throat. 

I gave a pleased hum and tightened my arm around Loki’s back, ever mindful of his injuries.  “So we’ve got a few hours until Thor shows up again.  What’s the plan?”

“If I had my way, we would not leave this bed,” Loki purred.  “But alas, we must be presentable for the council.  And I expect that Mother will want to see me prior to that meeting.”

“And we need to get some food into you,” I said, my fingertips stroking over the prominent ridges of Loki’s backbone.  “I’d say we burned more than a few calories last night.”

“Yes, we did,” he replied smugly.  “It was well worth it, though.”

“Glad you think so,” I replied, dropping a kiss on his crown.  “Now.  Where’s the bathroom in this place?  We’ll get clean first, and eat after.”

Loki pulled free from my arms and slid from the bed, extending his hand to me.  “Come, my Hawk.  Something tells me you’ll be well pleased with the comforts of an Asgardian bath.  I have seen what passes as a washroom in your realm, and it leaves _much_ to be desired.”

I kicked my way clear of the blankets and stood to my feet.  “Lead the way,” I chuckled, twining my fingers through Loki’s own.  “God knows I could do with a good soak.”

x-x-x-x-x

We spent the next hour lazing in a bathtub the size of a small swimming pool.  The scented water rose to our shoulders, and the temperature was just this side of scalding, which worked wonders on my tension-knotted muscles.  We talked of everything, nothing, and all that fell in between. 

There were a couple awkward moments, of course.  How could there _not_ be? 

But those were few and fleeting, and by the time we emerged, clean and relaxed, we’d seemed to have found an even footing.  I still wasn’t quite sure how to wrap my head around all that had occurred in the previous 24 hours, but really, I was starting to become less concerned with that, preferring just to enjoy the present.

It had been far too long since I’d been this comfortable, and truth be told, I didn’t want this day to end.

Back in Loki’s chambers, we found a large tray of food waiting for us.  I made sure to steer clear of the mead, and instead downed several glasses of cool, fresh water.  We picked at the various offerings as we dressed, and by the time our hunger had been satiated, Frigga had appeared, just as Loki thought she would. 

The Queen gave me a curious look when she entered, and I retreated to the balcony to allow mother and son time to speak.  Even though I knew Loki wasn’t her child by blood, it was glaringly apparent that Frigga paid that small detail no mind.  She had raised Loki, mothered him in the place of another, and she still carried him in her heart.

That made me feel just a bit better about Loki’s treatment in Asgard.  Odin may have become a distant influence to the dark god…but Thor and Mama Frigga still had his back. 

I leaned against the railing, looking down at the great city sprawled out so far below as the low murmur of voices lulled me.  From this height, Asgard looked like any number of towns I had frequented during my travels.  Granted, all it took was one glance at the sky to remind me that I was very far from home.  The sight of unnamed galaxies wheeling by made me feel very small, so I focused instead on the tiny, bustling figures that filled the streets below. 

Roughly half an hour passed in this manner before I was joined by Thor.  We stood together in silence for several long moments before he finally spoke.  “Come, Clint,” he rumbled.  “It is time.”

I huffed out a deep sigh, shoving myself upright.  “Ok,” I replied.  “Let’s get this done.”

Thor stalked back into Loki’s chambers, and I trailed along in his wake.  Frigga was holding Loki in a tight embrace, whispering something in his ear, and we held back slightly as they finished.  The Queen pressed a soft kiss to Loki’s temple before making her exit, and the dark god stood very still, staring after her.

“The council awaits us in the throne room, Loki,” Thor intoned.

Loki shot me an anxious look, and I gave him a gentle smile in return.  “Remember what I said,” I murmured.  “It’s all gonna be okay.  I promise.”

The dark god’s brows knit together and he gave a slight nod by way of reply.  Giving voice to a soft sigh, Loki lifted his chin and stepped to Thor’s side.  “I’m ready,” he stated firmly.  “Whatever may come of this…I am ready.”

x-x-x-x-x

The hallways of the palace were oddly deserted.  No guards, or hand maidens.  No pages bustling about with messages to be delivered.  The entire place seemed to be holding its’ breath, waiting for the final chapter of Loki’s story to be told.

Thor led the way, pointedly ignoring the silence surrounding us.  I stayed at Loki’s side, a few paces behind the Thunderer.  We didn’t speak, holding our tongues as we made our way to the throne room, and the awaiting council.

At least, we did until we rounded a corner and caught sight of Fandral leaning against a pillar at the edge of the great staircase.  Thor stopped short and Loki gave a low growl as Fandral sent an insolent grin our way.

“My prince,” he said, pushing away from the pillar and slightly inclining his head to Thor.  “Off to speak to the council, are we?”

“Be on your way,” Thor rumbled.  “You know well enough my destination, and my reason for such.  I’ll not be so quick to restrain my friend should you again offend.”

Fandral’s grin widened and he briefly touched the mottled mark at the corner of his mouth.  “Oh yes.  I still carry his gift of yesterday.  I daresay he’d like to make it a matching set…provided his _master_ allows it.”

My fists balled at my sides, and I felt the hot rush of rage in my veins at his words.  But I held my place.  It wouldn’t do to go in front of the council with bloody and bruised knuckles, no matter how much I might want to punch that smug grin off Fandral’s face. 

Fandral leaned to the side, looking around Thor to meet Loki’s eyes.  “And that would please you, would it not?  To have your tribute defend what little honor you have left?”

Loki stiffened, lifting his head high to peer down his nose at the man before him.  “As if anything you say could impugn my honor.  And contrary to popular belief, I _do_ have a modicum of such left within me.”

“Odd,” Fandral mused.  “I would have thought the last shred of that lost when you enslaved the mortal at your side.  And how strange to see him accompanying you!  After his denials of yesterday, I would have thought that the last place I would find him would be at your heels…like some eager lapdog.”

My vision washed red at that final barb, and I took a step forward.  Fuck the council; this asshole needed to be taught a lesson, and I wasn’t going to stand idly by while he ran his mouth.

Seems that Thor had the same thought, because before I could even take a second step, he’d crossed the distance to Fandral and twisted one large fist in the fabric of the other man’s tunic.

“You dare defy me,” he snarled.  “Heaping insults upon my team-mate _and_ my brother?!  I do not know why you harbor such anger against Loki, but it ends now.  You have no business here, Fandral, and would do well to heed my words.  Be.  On.  Your.  Way.”

The sandy-haired man paled slightly at the thinly veiled rage on Thor’s face.  “Of course, my Prince,” he murmured, lifting his hands in an attitude of surrender. 

Thor released his grip upon Fandral’s tunic, and scowled down at him as he smoothed his clothing.  Giving a slight bow, the smaller man spun on his heel and stalked away.

“What in the ever-loving _fuck_ is that guy’s problem,” I demanded, still thrumming with rage.

Loki’s hand lit on the nape of my neck, fingertips stroking softly as he answered, “Fandral has long been at odds with me.  During Thor’s banishment, those issues were…compounded.  He thinks me a threat still, and I doubt that will ever change.”

“Soon as I set eyes on him, I didn’t like him,” I growled.  “Like him even less now.”

Loki hummed in agreement.  “He has too large an ego and too small a brain.  A combination that may prove lethal to him someday.”

“Hope I’m there to see it,” I said, staring after Fandral’s fast retreating back.

“Come,” Thor broke in.  “We’re nearly there, and I wish to be done with this.  The waiting has been interminable.”

“Of course, brother,” Loki murmured, giving one last squeeze to my nape before pulling his hand away.  “We shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”

The remainder of the journey was uneventful, and we soon found ourselves at the door to the throne room.  Loki paused outside, the panic evident in his eyes.

“Wait…please,” he whispered in a trembling voice.  “Just for a moment, if you would.”

Thor gave him a curious look, but dropped his hand from the knob, allowing Loki to regain his composure before we continued.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Loki breathed.  “To you both.  Thor, for never giving up on me…and Clint, for believing that I have changed; that I sincerely carry remorse for my actions.  Thank you.”

“How could I do anything else,” Thor questioned, giving Loki a fond smile.  “You are my brother, and I will always be at your side.  No matter what.”

I had a moment where I wasn’t sure if I could even respond to Loki’s words.  That goddamn ache was back in my throat, and it felt like it was choking me.  And the weight of that poison green gaze upon me, waiting for my response, so I did the one thing I knew I wouldn’t fuck up somehow.

I stepped forward and crushed my mouth to Loki’s, letting my searing kiss say what my tightened throat couldn’t. 

Thor looked away, the shine of embarrassment brightening his eyes, but I didn’t care one bit.  Hell, he’d walked in on us in bed just that morning, so bearing witness to one little kiss wouldn’t kill the guy.

Loki’s arms twined around my waist, pulling me tightly against his lean frame, and I broke the kiss, nipping at his lower lip.  “Told you, Princess,” I panted.  “I got your back.”

“Yes,” he replied, leaning his forehead against mine.  “My protector.”

Thor cleared his throat and we disentangled ourselves, Loki’s eyes still locked with mine.  “I’m ready now,” he stated.  “It is time to face my fate.”

And with a quiet sigh, Thor opened the door.

 


	11. The Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is given a chance to clear his name. Will it be successful? Or has he damaged his reputation beyond repair?

I’d heard the phrase ‘deafening silence’ before, but I’d never really experienced the phenomenon firsthand. 

At least, I hadn’t until Thor opened the door to the throne room and ushered us inside.

A long table was set up at the foot of the stairs leading to the throne itself, and in front of that was a raised platform, with railings on three sides.  Twelve grim faced men and women sat at the table while Odin remained upon his throne, Frigga at his side.  Twenty-seven eyes fixed on us as we started across the room.

Loki uttered a small, quiet noise of distress and hesitated before stepping onto the red carpet that would lead us to the Council. 

Thor squared his shoulders and cast a quick glance at his brother.  “All will be well, Loki,” he whispered.  “Do you trust in me?”

“As always,” Loki replied.

“Then find your resolve and let us end this.”

Loki nodded and straightened his spine, following in the Thunderer’s wake as he approached the platform.

“The prisoner will take his place on the dais,” a voice rang out, and I fought the urge to snarl. 

Thor laid his hand on Loki’s shoulder, squeezing briefly as he whispered, “Be strong, brother.”  Then he stepped away, continuing on to stand before the Council.  Loki caught my eye, sending me a look dripping with despair. 

“Don’t,” I breathed.  “Don’t look at me like we’re never gonna see one another again.  Just get up there and tell your side of it.  Thor and I will take care of the rest.  We got this.”

Swallowing hard, the god gave a quick nod and mounted the stairs to the platform as I took my place next to Thor.  I looked over the Council, taking in their rich robes, and emotionless faces.  Something told me that this was going to be a hard fought battle, but I’d be damned if I was gonna give up before I even started. 

No.  This day would end with the truth, and a reversal of Loki’s sentence.  I wouldn’t accept anything less.

A brawny, dark-haired man sat near the middle of the table, an impatient cast to his features.  He looked left, and then right, revealing a wide silver streak in his ebon hair, and a scar that ran from his temple to the corner of his right eye. 

“Shall we begin,” he asked in a booming voice.  “We twelve have been called forth by Odin All-Father to receive new evidence in the case of the war criminal Loki.  His offenses are well known, so there is no need for a retelling.  Who speaks in his defense?”

“I do,” Loki answered softly.

A murmur ran the length of the table as the council members reacted to Loki’s declaration.

“Is that so,” asked the dark-haired man in a bemused manner.  “If I remember correctly, you refused to speak at all during your previous trial.  Have you anyone to corroborate your…tales?”

“I stand as witness, Elder Bersi,” Thor ground out.  “As does the mortal, Clint Barton.”

“Barton?  The one Loki enslaved during his failed attempt to rule Midgard,” the Elder asked, a note of surprise in his voice.

“One and the same,” I answered.

“Why would you do such a thing,” Bersi questioned, spearing me with a circumspect look.  “This is the being that, had he triumphed, would have destroyed all that you held dear.  He committed an act of war; killed countless of your people.  Why would you choose to defend him?”

“Because he wasn’t acting entirely under his own power,” I shot back.  “And that means he doesn’t deserve the torture you people have sentenced him to suffer.”

Thor made a low noise of warning, but it was too late.  The entire Council was glaring at me and Bersi’s dark eyes had narrowed dangerously.

“You know nothing of our ways, mortal,” he hissed.  “Hold your tongue until we call you to speak.”

“Whatever you say,” I shrugged, refusing to drop my gaze from his.  I wasn’t going to back down.  Not one fucking inch.

After a long moment, the Elder turned from me and looked to Loki.  “Tell your tale, and we shall see what new information you may provide.  But be warned, Laufeyson, we are well aware of your penchant for lies.”

“Of course you are,” Loki answered.  “And that is precisely why I held my silence during our previous meeting.  I knew my chances of being believed were very small indeed.”

“Then what changed your mind,” Bersi asked.  “Why would you come forward now?”

“It would seem,” Loki said, an edge of pride in his voice.  “That despite my _many_ detractors, there still exist a few that believe me redeemable.  I simply listened to their pleas, and found myself swayed.”

Bersi gritted his teeth, and then waved a hand irritably at Loki before snapping, “Then get on with it.  Tell your tale, fallen Prince, so we may sit in judgment.  The day draws to an end, and I have far to travel before I see my home again.”

“Patience,” barked Thor, his anger blooming in the face of Bersi’s rudeness.  “You may sit upon the Council, yet you still answer to the All-Father.  This will not be rushed just so that you may pass the night warm in your own furs!  The fate of my brother hangs in the balance.”

The Elder snarled in response, but before he could speak, Odin made his presence known by thumping Gungnir against the floor.

“My son may be rash in his words,” the All-Father intoned.  “But he speaks the truth.  You are to be impartial in your decisions, and the Council will remain in session until this is resolved.  It was by your insistence that Loki’s sentence was taken from my hands.  Do not attempt to shirk your duties now, Bersi.”

His face flushed a deep scarlet as Bersi murmured, “Yes, my King.  Please, tell us your tale, my Prince.”

And so Loki began to speak. 

His voice rang out, strong and clear, echoing through the throne room as he related what happened after he fell from the Bi-Frost.  He described the anger he felt, the pain of discovering his true parentage, and the despair that had driven him to close to madness.  I listened as he told of the Chitauri discovering him broken and bruised, and of how they whispered in his ear, promising to return all he had lost…and more.  Loki explained that once he had healed, and his reason had returned, then doubts as to the Chitauri’s plan began to grow within him. 

And when he’d expressed these doubts to the Other, that was when the scepter had been laid in his hands.

Under the cool, blue glow of the scepter, those doubts had been washed clean, and his purpose grew to mirror that of his masters.

The Council remained silent until Loki named the one above the Other.  Thanos, he called him, and the assembled men and women reacted violently to the revelation.  I heard whispers of ‘the mad Titan’, and watched as dread filled the faces before me.

I leaned in and whispered to Thor, “So I’m guessing that this Thanos is bad news?”

“Indeed,” the Thunderer growled.  “He is a blight across all the realms, and his presence explains the fear Loki felt.  He is not one to be trifled with…”

“Suppose it’s too much to hope for that the nuke took him out along with the Chitauri?”

Thor shook his head.  “Thanos is known for ruling from afar.  There is no chance that he was near enough to suffer any damage.”

“Damn,” I grumbled.  “We’ll have to keep an eye out for him, then.  Something tells me that he’s not the type to give up quite so easily.”

After that, the Council fired question after question at Loki.  What was Thanos’ ultimate goal?  Did he have designs on other worlds after Midgard?  Was the Tesseract the only artifact he was seeking?  And Loki answered them to the best of his ability, holding nothing back. 

Finally, the queries stopped, and a much more somber Bersi urged Loki to continue his confession. 

And this brought us to the part I was dreading.  Stuttgart…and all that had happened between us. 

Loki handled it like a pro, smoothly telling the tale, and continuing on to his ‘capture’ by the Avengers.  He didn’t gloss over anything, or pull any punches…just told it in a matter-of-fact way, including his attempt to protect me from further harm by convincing the Other I was simply a plaything and nothing more.

Sure, I got a couple of shocked looks from the Council, and I kept my gaze firmly turned away from Momma Frigga, because that was something I was _not_ ready to face.  But overall, it wasn’t nearly as awkward as I’d feared.

Well.  As awkward as revealing pillow talk in front of your partner’s parents can be…but no worse.

Loki ended his confession with his return to Asgard, and how his deep-seated remorse for his actions had kept him from testifying on his own behalf.  The guilt he carried had demanded that he pay for his crimes in full, and any outside influence be damned.

I fought to swallow down the ache in my throat as Loki finished speaking.  Even though I knew that it had been his choice to remain silent, I still couldn’t help but feel as though I was somehow responsible.

“This is madness,” Bersi muttered.  “A tale concocted by the Prince of Lies, and supported by his former slave and lover?  How can their words be trusted?!”

Before I even had a chance to voice my protests, a slight, blonde woman seated to Bersi’s left cleared her throat and rose from her chair. 

“I believe him,” she stated firmly. 

The Council again erupted in murmurs, and while some of the members looked aghast, fully half nodded their agreement. 

I kept quiet and waited to see what else she had to say.

“What in Loki’s pack of half-truths has swayed you, Lady Valgerd,” Bersi demanded. 

“First and foremost, his willingness to speak,” the blonde said softly.  “When Loki stood before us after his return to Asgard, he was a thing of sullen anger and tightly clenched teeth.  He admitted to no wrongdoing, nor did he attempt to sway us in his favor.  Do you not find him much changed from that time?”

Bersi sputtered weakly before Valgerd continued.  “We have known Loki since his youth, and I can attest that the man that we see now bears very little resemblance to the sly and manipulative one of days past.  His punishment has changed him.  Or are you too blind to see?”

Turning to me, Valgerd asked, “You are willing to corroborate all that Loki claims?  Even after the wrong done to you?”

“Absolutely,” I replied.  “From what I know of Loki in the time before he came to Earth, he was called the Trickster for a _reason_.  It wasn’t his style to approach anything head on.  He’d come at it from an angle, and you’d never really know his plan until it was already in motion.  But on Earth?  He launched a full scale invasion, and did it in a straight forward, tactical way.  Does that sound like the Loki you know?”

“It does not,” Bersi agreed sullenly.

“Exactly,” I exclaimed.  “And that was because _it was never Loki’s plan_.  Sure, he played along.  And yes, he had a large part in the destruction.  But ultimately, he was just a figurehead; someone for Thanos to hide behind while he pulled the strings.”

“During my first meeting with Loki on Midgard, he spoke of those that had ‘shown him new worlds’,” Thor interjected.  “At the time he would not elaborate on what he meant, but I knew in my heart that there were others above him.  When we learned of the Chitauri’s involvement, that only strengthened my belief.  Loki did not rally an army on his own.  He did not have the power needed to claim dominion over such a force.  It had to be _given_ to him.  And he who could deliver such a thing would be the one to direct its’ movements and actions.”

“Precisely,” Lady Valgerd said softly.  “I cannot fathom how Loki could have accomplished such grand designs by himself.  The only logical explanation is that he did not act alone in the attempt to subjugate Midgard.  And as such, we cannot hold him to his original sentence.  To do so would be cruel.”

“And what do you suggest,” Bersi growled.  “That we simply _free_ him?!  Return him to Asgard and pretend that all is well?”

Silence fell across the throne room.

I could almost feel Frigga and Thor holding their breath, willing the Council to do just that, and return Loki to them.  I cast a quick glance back over my shoulder, only to find Loki staring back, eyes wide and shimmering with the barest glimmer of hope.  He looked a little less broken, standing tall on that dais, and clutching the railing in front of him with bloodless fingers as he awaited the final decision on his fate.

And suddenly I knew what I had to do.

“Um, I might have an idea,” I ventured, turning back to face the Council.  “This might sound a little crazy, but just hear me out.”

 

 


	12. A Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the Council has heard the truth, they must decide what to do with the Trickster God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me the amount of time since the last update. My laptop was broken in a freak kitten accident, and I only recently got it back. My thanks to all of you still following this story, and as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated!

  “You want us to do _WHAT_ ,” Bersi roared as the other council members speared me with horrified looks.

  “Send him to Earth,” I repeated in a firm tone.

  “Return Loki to the very realm he tried to claim as his own,” the elder sputtered.  “Why?  What madness possesses you to think this is a proper answer?”

  “Well,” I began slowly.  “When Thor was being a self-centered dick, Odin banished him to Earth to learn humility.  That worked out pretty well for _him_ , so why not Loki?” 

  Thor voiced a low growl at my side, and I shot him a look.  “What,” I asked.  “You told me the story yourself, Goldilocks, and YOU admitted to being a spoiled jerk.  Don’t get all cranky about it now that I’m agreeing with you.”

  Thor huffed and turned back to the council.  “He speaks the truth,” the blonde god admitted.  “My time on Midgard taught me much.  Perhaps the same will hold true for my brother.”

  Bersi rose from his seat, pacing the length of the table as he muttered to himself.  “This seems like folly.  Have we become blinded to past events?  Forgotten Loki’s ambition to rule the mortals?”

  “We have not,” Lady Valgerd answered calmly.  “But we _have_ just learned that it was never Loki’s intention to rule.  That was Thanos’ reward to Loki for obtaining the Tesseract.”

  “Still,” the elder ground out.  “I cannot help but feel as if this may not be the best plan.”

  “Then what do _you_ suggest,” I snapped.  “You can’t send him back to wherever you were keeping him before!  And it looks to me like at least half of you agree that his former sentence no longer fits the actual crime.  So what’re you gonna _do_ with him?”

  I stood my ground, hands fisted at my sides and holding on to my anger as tightly as I could manage.  It wouldn’t help the council see things my way if I flew off the handle, so I bit back the caustic words that bubbled in my throat and waited.

  Lady Valgerd’s eyes found mine, and she searched my gaze for a long moment before she spoke.  “You realize that we cannot simply turn him loose in your realm, yes?  He will have to monitored.”

  “Of course,” I answered.  “Heimdall seems pretty good at what he does, so no worries there.”

  “You misunderstand, archer,” she said gently.  “Thor was under the watchful eye of Heimdall as well as the mortals that befriended him, and yet he still managed to find trouble.  Loki will require the same constant companionship, if not more so.  I cannot claim to know much of the ruling council of Midgard, but are you authorized to speak for them?  Can you ensure that the rest of your world will welcome Loki as warmly as you?”

  Damn.  I hadn’t considered that at all. 

  Fury’s face rose in my mind, and I imagined the expansive anger my boss was sure to voice in his oh so colorful way when I informed him of Loki’s return.  I suppressed a slight shudder and steeled my spine before I spoke.

  “Ma’am,” I replied.  “You just leave that to me.  Once _my_ council has a chance to hear the whole story, well, there’s gonna be a few hold outs, but I’m sure that for the most part they’ll accept him.”

  “And what of Loki’s need for companionship?  Who will monitor him?  Who will help him make sense of your realm?”

  “I will,” I answered quickly. 

  “You will bind yourself to him, then?  Help to teach him the lessons he must still learn?”

  “It would be my absolute pleasure,” I stated firmly.

  The council’s mutterings were so loud that I almost missed the quiet intake of breath from behind me.  Not quite a gasp of surprise, or a choked sob of thankfulness, but a mixture of the two…and it brought that ache up into my throat yet again.  It was going to take a good long while to convince Loki that he was worthy of redemption; that there were people who would happily make sacrifices on his behalf.  But if this day played out the way I thought it might, then I’d have all the coming days to work on making him see the light.

  Bersi took his seat once more, and scrubbed one large hand over his face before asking, “Does the council have any further questions before we retire to discuss the matter at hand?”

  The rest of the elders shook their heads, and Bersi murmured, “So be it.  The prisoner and witnesses may be excused.  We will call for you once a decision has been reached.”

  Thor clapped his hand on my shoulder and drew me into a tight hug, whispering, “Thank you, Clint.  You have no idea what you have just done.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I grunted, giving him a slight shove.  “Now get off me, big guy.  Can’t breathe when you get all lovey-dovey.”

  The Thunder God barked laughter, but quickly released me, his face split by the widest grin I’d ever seen.  He crossed to the dais and threw his arms around Loki, lifting the slighter man off his feet and shaking him in glee. 

  The dark god gave a surprised squawk before stating fondly, “Let me go, you great oaf.  My release is not guaranteed as of yet.”

  “Nay,” Thor agreed happily.  “But the odds seem to be in your favor, brother.  And I will hold that hope until told otherwise.”

  I stood back, watching the exchange between them, thinking of how much had changed in so short a time; even just from this morning, when the two had been at one another’s throats.  I felt a grin tug at the corner of my mouth as Loki turned to face me, his face far less drawn than when we had entered the throne room.  Even though he might deny it, there was a glimmer of hope hidden in those bright green eyes.

  “And you,” Loki said with a slight smile.  “Offering yourself up to be my chaperone?  What _were_ you thinking?”

  “Dunno,” I shrugged.  “Seemed like a good idea at the time.  You’re not gonna make me regret it, are you?”

  “Never,” Loki breathed.  “I shall be the very _picture_ of obedience.”

  “Why does that make me nervous,” I asked slowly, giving him a look dripping in suspicion.

  “I have no idea,” he answered loftily, widening his eyes in mock innocence.  “Surely you aren’t questioning my _honor_ , are you?”

  Thor laughed heartily and herded us toward the door as I muttered, “What have I gotten myself into?”

 

  


	13. A Mother's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end draws nigh.

Thor led the way back to Loki’s chambers as we trailed a few steps behind.  “That went better than expected,” I ventured.  “Thought for sure I’d have to punch somebody before it was all over.”

Loki uttered a soft laugh, lacing his fingers through my own before saying, “That _does_ seem to be a frequent occurrence for you, my Hawk.  You are ever so eloquent with your fists.”

“Just another skill of mine,” I shrugged.  “When I was a kid most of the fighting I had to do was of the physical variety.  Words didn’t seem to have as much clout as a left hook.”

“Well, let us hope that you do not have to employ that particular skill here today,” Loki murmured, running his thumb lightly over my inner wrist.

I gave him a lopsided grin and said, “Well, as long as that Fandral guy stays away, I think I can control myself.”

“I believe he has had his fill of being threatened for the moment,” the god smirked.  “With you and my brother both to stand against him, he would be wise to keep to the shadows henceforth.”

“Damn straight,” I chuckled, remembering the look of shock on Mustache’s face when Thor had grabbed his tunic.  “Not that I wouldn’t happily take another swing at him.”

“I do not doubt that in the least,” Loki replied.  “And while I would love to see just that, I think perhaps you should avoid making any further enemies here.”

“As do I,” Thor called back over one shoulder.  “Save your blood lust for a more worthy adversary.”

“You guys won’t let me have _any_ fun,” I pouted.

Leaning in, Loki brushed his lips against my ear, breathing out a quiet, “The sort of fun I have planned for you, my dear Hawk, is of another variety altogether.”

“Oh…well, then,” I murmured back, a slight shiver running down my spine.  “Guess I’ll keep my hands to myself.  For now.”

Loki gave a pleased purr in response as Thor reached his brother’s rooms, throwing open the door and striding inside.  With a small frown, Loki muttered, “But I suppose my plans will have to wait…”

“Yeah.  I don’t think Thor would be too happy if we started going at it with him in the room.  He almost blushed himself to death when I kissed you earlier.”

The laugh that Loki voiced was the truest one I’d ever heard from the god.  “Perhaps we should take that route?  It would ensure us our privacy.  And quickly, I would think.”

“Yeah…no,” I said, shaking my head.  “Not sure I want to get the on the God of Thunder’s bad side.”

“I can attest that it is a very bad place in which to be,” Loki replied softly.  He pressed a quick kiss to my mouth before following Thor into his chambers.  I took a deep breath and collected myself before entering the room. 

“So what do we do now,” I asked.

“We wait,” Thor answered simply.

x-x-x-x-x

And so we waited.  As the last of the sunlight fled the skies, and the pale moon climbed in the heavens, we waited.  Servants came and went, bearing trays of food and pitchers of drink.  We ate and talked and as the hours passed, we began to worry.

Surprisingly, Thor was the first to lose his cool.  He paced like a caged lion, stalking from one end of the room to the other.  And with each pass, his mutterings increased until Loki finally snapped at him to be silent.  His sharp voice seemed to startle the god into realizing exactly what he was doing, and Thor retreated to the balcony.

“Hey,” I said softly, reaching out and gripping the nape of Loki’s neck.  “Keep it together, alright?  So the council is taking a little longer than expected.  Doesn’t mean anything except that they like to argue.”

Loki huffed out a deep sigh, and I could feel the tension leave his frame.  “Of course,” he replied.  “I cannot help but worry, though.  So much hangs in the balance…”

“I know,” I ground out.  “Believe me…I know.  But it won’t do a bit of good to worry about what’s happening.  It’s out of our hands.”

He bowed his head then, leaning into my side and giving a brief nod.  I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and held him close, trying to take my own advice…and failing miserably.

What if they did vote against freeing him; choosing instead to return him to his place of punishment?

What would I do if they tried to take him from me a second time?

A growl rose in my chest, but I caged it behind clenched teeth.  If I wanted to keep Loki from panicking, I had to present a calm front.  I couldn’t let my anxiety show.

But god help the council if they voted against Loki’s freedom.  I’d fight every single one of them, if I had to, and something told me that Thor would back me on that.  Treason or not, he’d never stand for Loki’s continued imprisonment.

We sat in silence for a time, each lost deep in our own troubled thoughts.  A soft knock on the door nearly made me jump out of my skin, and Loki voiced a startled little gasp as the Frigga swept into the room.

“Mother?  Is it time,” Loki asked, rising to his feet.  “Has the council reconvened?”

“Not yet, my love,” the Queen answered, opening her arms wide and pulling Loki into her embrace.  She smoothed back his hair and pressed a quick kiss to his temple.  “It shall be soon, though, and I wished to speak with your mortal before then.”

‘ _Oh shit,_ ’ I thought.  ‘ _Here it comes._ ’

“Why,” Loki asked softly, his gaze darting between us.

“Is it not a mother’s right to learn more of the one her child has chosen as his own?  I assure you that I mean him no harm.”

“I didn’t mean to imply…”

“I know,” Frigga soothed.  “But your trust has been abused many a time, Loki.  I would set you at ease as to my intentions.”

Loki nodded, giving his mother a soft smile.  He kissed her cheek before moving to the balcony to join Thor under the night sky, leaving us alone.

I pushed to my feet, feeling a nervous flush rise in my cheeks as the Queen looked me over.  Scrubbing my hand over the nape of my neck, I huffed out a quiet breath. 

“So, about yesterday…” I began, only to be cut off by Frigga.

“Thank you,” she said.

My mouth snapped shut so fast I nearly caught the tip of my tongue between my teeth.  “Say again,” I asked hesitantly. 

“Thank you,” Frigga repeated. 

“For what, exactly?”

“I haven’t any idea what you did to convince Loki to speak in his own defense, but I am eternally grateful to you for accomplishing what we could not,” the Queen murmured.   

“I couldn’t let him go through that again and not tell his side of things.  He deserved to be heard.”

“Yet little more than a day ago, you had very different ideas about what Loki _deserved_ ,” Frigga stated.  “You stood before me claiming that Loki deserved to be punished, did you not?”

“I did,” I replied.  “But that was before I saw what had been done to him.”

“And that alone swayed you,” she asked.  “I did not think you held such compassion in your heart for my son.”

“No.  That wasn’t all.”

“Then what changed your mind, if I may ask?”

“We talked,” I said thickly.  “He explained things to me.  Made me understand why he did what he did.  It helped me to get past the…anger I had over how things ended between us and made me realize how I really felt.”

Frigga cocked her head, giving me a curious look.  I’d seen that same expression on Loki’s face more than once, and it drove home the fact that even though Frigga hadn’t birthed my god, that didn’t make her any less his mother.

“It is apparent that Loki cares for you,” the Queen said, abruptly switching the subject.  “I assume that by offering yourself as his Midgardian protector that means you return his affections?”

“Wow.  You, uh, get straight to the point, don’t you,” I replied, feeling a slight flush rising in my cheeks.  I ran my hand over my face, looking away from the Queen’s appraising stare.  Funny how I could go from hardened assassin to blushing schoolgirl when hit with the right question…and by the right person.

“Yes or no, archer.  A simple answer will suffice,” Frigga prodded.  “I will not be content until I know that you care for my son.  That he is more than just a passing fancy to you.”

“Ma’am,” I answered, catching her gaze and holding it firmly as I spoke.  “I can assure you that Loki is much more than that to me.”

A soft sigh of relief escaped her then, even as a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.  “Thank the Norns,” she whispered.  “I had hoped that what I had read in your eyes was the truth.”

“And what was that,” I asked, curious.

“Yesterday, even as you spat venomous words condemning my son, I saw no anger in you.  Simply a deep, abiding pain.”  She stepped closer to me and raised one hand, cupping my cheek as she continued softly.  “That sort of pain can only be the result of a broken heart, and such a show of rage stems from a denial of that pain.”

“I’m great at denial,” I huffed, giving a rueful shake of my head.

“But now you have accepted that which you tried to ignore.  Now you may begin to heal.”

“Yeah,” I answered in a tight voice.  “Provided the council doesn’t try to split us up again.”

Frigga’s smile faded and her brow knit as she considered my words.  “Let us hope it does not come to that,” she murmured. 

A knock came at the open door, and a nervous young page entered the room, bowing low before he blurted out.  “My Lady?  The council has reached a decision.  The All-Father calls for you and the others to return to the throne room at once.”

The Queen’s eyes briefly closed, and she stroked her fingertips down my cheek as she stepped away.  “Thank you, young one.  Run ahead and tell them we are on our way.”

“Yes, my Lady,” the page answered before turning and bolting out the door.

“Finally,” I growled.  “The waiting was driving me up a wall.”

“I will collect my sons,” Frigga said quietly.  “And you should ready yourself for whatever awaits.  The time has come for this to be laid to rest.”


	14. End of the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At long last, the Council is ready to speak. Will they answer in the way ours boys are hoping?

Walking into Odin’s throne room was no less nerve wracking than the first time. 

The council were all in their seats, eyes fixed on us as we followed the red carpet, taking our places in front of them.  The raised dais was no longer in evidence, so Loki stood between Thor and I, flanked on both sides by his supporters.  He was trembling lightly, yet trying so very hard to hide his anxiety.

Bersi waited until the Queen had climbed the stairs and stood placidly next to her husband before speaking.

“And here we find ourselves once more,” the Elder intoned.  “We have weighed all the evidence, both old and new.  Argued ourselves hoarse, and finally come to an agreement that is acceptable to all.” 

Here Bersi paused, spearing Loki with a direct and appraising stare.  He held his silence for so long that I was on the verge of screaming before he finally continued.

“The accused will step forward.”

Loki shot me a quick look, trepidation weighing down his gaze.  I took his hand, squeezing briefly as I whispered, “Go on.  It’s almost done, now.  Let’s finish this.”

He nodded and gripped my fingers tightly before letting go, squaring his shoulders and stepping closer to the table. 

“Have you anything further to add before we pass our sentence,” Bersi asked.

“I do not,” the god murmured, head held high.  “I have laid bare my soul to this council and I now submit myself to your mercy.  Do with me as you will.”

I held my breath as Bersi studied Loki intently.  My heart was in my throat, and I balled my fists, digging my nails into my palms until the sting grounded me once more.  It wouldn’t do to fall apart now; not when we were so very close to the end. 

I just hoped that the council would show mercy.

God help us all if they didn’t.

Thor shifted his weight next to me and I could hear him swallow thickly.  Seemed I wasn’t the only one on the verge of freaking out.

“Settle down, big guy,” I whispered.  “Scarface is gonna make us twist a little before he gives the verdict.”

“Forever the need to posture,” Thor growled quietly.  “That is the way of politics in Asgard.”

“Just hold it together,” I replied.  “Losing your shit isn’t gonna help anything.”

Thor gave a terse nod, eyes fixed on Bersi and mouth drawn into a grim line.  “Indeed not,” he muttered.  “I do not intend to lose anything today.”

I took in the double meaning of his words, content in the knowledge that if we found ourselves with a fight on our hands, then Thor would be by my side.

Lady Valgerd caught my eye, giving a small, enigmatic smile.  I cocked my head, sending her a quizzical look and she simply raised one slender finger to her lips, giving me the universal sign for ‘quiet, you’.  I felt a wave of relief wash through me then.  If things were about to go bad, I doubt that she’d have been quite so calm about it.

Bersi’s voice rang out, startling me back to attention.

“Loki Laufeyson, former prince of Asgard, you have been called back from the wastes of Helheim in order to again stand trial for your misdeeds.  Your previous sentence has been called into question due to the discovery of new evidence, and we, the council of elders, have weighed this information against the punishment you have already served.”

Bersi paused, and I could almost see the words sticking in his throat.

“After a thorough review of all the evidence, we have no choice but to nullify the remainder of your sentence,” the Elder ground out.  “As of this moment, you are free.”

Loki’s gasp of surprise was immediately drowned out by Thor’s gleeful bellow.  I felt my shoulders sag in relief, all the tension draining out of me so quickly that I suddenly felt lightheaded. 

“Of course, there are conditions attached to this reversal,” Bersi interjected.

“Such as,” Thor demanded.

“Loki’s magic will continue to be dampened.  He will have a measure of it returned, but by no means is he to be trusted with the full amount of power he once possessed.”

“Of course,” Loki murmured.  “I had not assumed otherwise.”

Bersi frowned at how quickly the dark god agreed to this judgment.  Obviously he had expected a more violent reaction on Loki’s part.

“Also,” the Elder continued, “You will be remanded to the keeping of the mortal, Clint Barton, who will watch over you during your banishment to Midgard.  He will teach you the ways of those that you tried to subjugate.  Perhaps, in time, you will come to appreciate the same lessons your brother learned during his own time in that realm.”  Bersi turned to me then, asking, “You offered yourself up as his keeper, mortal.  Are you still agreeable to this?”

“Absolutely,” I responded.

“Be aware that Heimdall will keep watch as well,” Bersi said pointedly.  “In the event that Loki attempts to hide his doings from you, there will be one that still sees all.  And bear in mind that if we find reason to believe that Loki has returned to his previous lust for power, then his original sentence will be reinstated, and he _will_ be returned to Helheim.”

“You needn’t worry,” Loki said quietly.  “I shall be the very picture of obedience.  You have my thanks for allowing me a second chance in this matter.”

“Address your thanks to Lady Valgerd,” Bersi replied acidly.  “She was your staunchest supporter amongst the council members, and refused to be swayed.  Her words brought the majority vote to her side, and won you your freedom.  She has placed all of her faith in you; do not prove her wrong, Laufeyson.”

Loki bowed his head, murmuring, “My thanks, Lady.  You have given me the greatest of gifts and I will not disappoint you.”

“Simply go in peace, Loki,” Lady Valgerd replied.  “Live the life you were meant to before your mind was twisted to another’s purpose.  Tear down the walls surrounding you and open your heart.  Live well and love often, that alone will ensure that I do not regret my decision.”

“I will,” he whispered before turning away from the council. 

Loki’s bright green gaze speared into my own, and he stepped forward, capturing my hands.  “It’s over,” he breathed, twining his fingers through mine.  “I’m _free_.”

I grinned at the barely contained joy in his voice and rubbed my thumbs over his own.  “So, what do we do now,” I asked.

“I will gather my things, say my goodbyes, and then we can go…home.”

“Home sounds good,” I said.

Frigga rushed in then, drawing Loki into a tight embrace.  I stood back, watching as she fussed over her son; laughing as Thor snatched both of them up and shook them in pure glee.  It was a lovely sight, the reunited family, and I made sure to give them the time needed to celebrate.

As I stood to the side, I wondered what the coming days would bring.  I knew that things weren’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows.  Fury was sure to have a fit, and I’d have a lot of explaining to do before the rest of the team was satisfied with my choice.  And Loki himself was going to be a handful, no matter how much he promised to be ‘obedient’.  He had a couple thousand years worth of trauma to try and overcome, and I didn’t have any illusions that that would be easy.

But I was willing to help him _try_ , goddamn it.

And no matter what happened; no matter how much I had to fight to keep Loki from slipping back into that pit of darkness; I would never regret my decision.

I had my god back, and we would face the unknown together. 

Side by side. 

The way it should have been from the start.

-FIN-

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this story, everyone. I may end up writing a companion piece eventually where Loki adjusts to Midgard. 
> 
> And as always, I live for comments.


	15. Epilogue

 

 

I turned my key in the lock and huffed out a nervous breath before opening the door to my apartment.  Loki stepped in ahead of me, and I heard myself say, sheepishly, “Well, it’s not much…but it’s home.”  I watched as he surveyed the small space, taking in the general disarray as I mentally kicked myself for leaving the place in shambles.

Granted, I hadn’t suspected that Thor was going to haul me off to Asgard. 

That had been two days ago, and fuck if my entire existence hadn’t been turned inside out in just 48 short hours.  I suppose that if I’d known that I’d be returning with the God of Mischief in tow, then I might’ve straightened up a little first.

Odin had held true to his word; contacting Fury and laying out the entire situation.  Frigga had passed on the news as we were saying our farewells on the Bifrost, an amused glimmer in her eye that told me all I needed to know about how well _that_ conversation had gone.  I imagined the amount of bellowing those old, one-eyed bastards had produced, and realized then that I would have given _anything_ to have been a fly on the wall for that verbal battle.

I just hoped I wouldn’t get much of a replay once Fury found out I was back.

Kicking the door shut behind me, I leaned against the frame, eyes still fixed on Loki as he circled the living room.  He paused at the window, peering outside for a long moment before turning back to catch my gaze.

“I know it’s not exactly what you’re used to,” I said.  “And I swear, it’ll look better once I clean it up.”

A slow smile spread across Loki’s face as he crossed the room to stand before me.  “I see nothing wrong with our surroundings, my Hawk,” he murmured.  “And I am certain I will find _far_ more comfort here than I have in quite some time.”

“Well, good,” I returned.  “Still…we could probably do without the empty pizza boxes and all these bottles.”

“All in good time.  But now that I am here, can you not think of _other_ things to better occupy our time,” the god smirked as he stroked one slender hand down my chest. 

Oh.  I knew I’d forgotten something.

“Now that you mention it?  Yeah, I can think of a few things,” I growled.

Loki shoved me back against the door, hard enough to rattle it in its’ frame, and he dropped to his knees, tilting his head back to gaze up at me.  A mischievous smile played over the god’s lips as his fingers dug into my hips, tugging me toward him.

“I like where this is going,” I breathed.

“Thought you might,” Loki purred.  He leaned in, mouthing over my quickly growing arousal.

That one motion; that one little nuzzle paired with the faintest ghost of his breath bleeding through denim was nearly enough to break me.  I slid my hands deep into his hair, moaning as he nipped lightly before pulling back to work my belt open.

“I have been waiting for this moment, my Hawk,” he murmured as his nimble fingers bared me to his gaze.  “The night we spent together in my chamber was far too brief for my liking.  Now that we are finally, _blessedly_ alone, I can have my fill.” 

Then, with a sly, fleeting grin, the god swallowed me down.

“Oh fuck,” I bleated, hands clenching into tight fists as Loki slowly took me deep.  My hips stuttered, and I ground my head against the door, hissing out a labored breath as he pulled back, swirling his tongue around the head of my cock.

“You sound pleased,” Loki noted, circling his fingers around my girth and giving a long, slow pull.

“D-don’t stop now,” I ground out.  “Please…don’t…stop.”

“I would never _dream_ of it,” the god replied softly and pushed forward again.

I shut my eyes against the sight of Loki kneeling before me.  It was too much; far too much.  The feeling alone was nearly enough to push me over the edge, but to see him gazing up at me, jaws stretched wide around my thick flesh?  There was no goddamn way I could deal with that.

A low, playful growl bled from Loki’s throat, and the sound went straight to my gut.  My eyes snapped open, and I dropped my gaze, slowly, to meet the heated glare the god was sending my way.  Once Loki was sure he had my full attention, he began to swallow around my cock; purposefully.

“Oh for fuck’s _sake_ , Loki,” I groaned, my nails digging into the nape of his neck.  “Are you _trying_ to kill me?”

The only answer I got was a deliberate flick of that talented tongue against the underside of my length and an added sparkle in his emerald gaze.

I carded my fingers through Loki’s hair, twining and twisting as he swallowed and sucked.  The fire in my belly was raging now; burning out of control, and I employed every trick at my disposal to keep from spilling. 

The tight, wet heat of Loki’s throat was making that pretty fucking difficult, though.

I gritted my teeth, silently begging myself to hold fast; to not let go. 

And it worked…for a minute.

“N-nuh,” I huffed out.  “Stop.  Loki… _goddamn it_ , you gotta stop.  Stopstopstopstop _STOP_!”

The god pulled back slowly, giving one last persistent lick over the head of my cock before sinking back on his haunches and sending a mock pout my way.  “But why,” he murmured.  “Do you find my attentions displeasing?”

“God, no,” I exclaimed.  “The exact fucking opposite, actually.”

Loki’s pout twisted into a smirk, and he wiped his mouth with the back of one hand as he stood to his feet.  Leaning in, he nipped at my ear before softly breathing, “Then why would you ask me to stop?  You have _earned_ this mouth, my Hawk.”

“What if I want more than just that mouth,” I growled, sliding my hands down to grip the god’s narrow hips, tugging him tight against me.  I could feel his arousal twitch at the contact; hard and heavy and caged behind the leather of his pants.  The need to have him bare before me swelled up to lodge in my throat, choking my next words.  “What then, huh?”

“You may have whatever you like,” Loki purred, canting his hips to grind against me.

“That’s quite an offer,” I grinned, walking the god backwards from the door.  “Think I’ll take you up on that.”

“As well you should,” Loki replied before twisting free from my grasp and stripping his shirt off over his head.  His hands dropped to undo the laces on his pants, holding my gaze steadily all the while.  Slowly, Loki peeled away the rest of his clothing, and when he was finally bare, that playful smile tugged once more at the corner of his mouth.

“Come then,” the god purred as he turned and knelt on the couch, arching his back and casting a come-hither look over one shoulder.  “Take what you will.”

“I _do_ have a bed, y’know,” I chuckled, shaking my head ruefully.

“I am aware,” Loki answered in a low tone.  “And we will, in time, christen our resting place, as well as every _other_ surface in this home.  But for now?  This will do nicely.”

My breath hitched in my throat at the mischievous glint in Loki’s gaze and at that moment I could not have cared less where we were; I simply wanted to be buried in the cloying heat of his body as he screamed out his lust beneath me.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten naked faster in my life.

Stepping close behind the god, I bowed low over his back, mouthing along his shoulder and stroking my fingertips down his sides.  Loki voiced a low, pleased purr and rolled his hips.  I gasped at the friction against my cock, and rutted forward even as I reached beneath him to loosely circle my fist around his length.

“Yes,” Loki panted.  “Touch me.”

I gave a long, slow pull to the thick flesh in my hand, thrilling to the wanton cry the god voiced, and as he shuddered helplessly, I brought my other hand down to stroke over Loki’s entrance.

“Please,” he whimpered, pushing back against my questing digits.

“Of course,” I murmured.  “Do that little trick, first.”

That familiar spell rolled off Loki’s tongue and I pressed forward, my fingers slipping into his tight heat and teasing a stuttering moan from his throat.  I licked a wet stripe up his spine and worked my fingers deeper, twisting and stretching as Loki writhed and panted.

“This what you need,” I questioned.

“It is a start,” the god allowed, turning his head to capture my mouth in a blistering kiss.

Loki’s tongue slicked over my own, and I uttered a quiet growl before nipping his lower lip.  “Never said I was _done_ , now did I?”

That fleeting grin spread across Loki’s face and he pushed back, begging with his body.  “Have you more to give me,” he asked in a lilting tone.

“Maybe,” I returned, pressing my cock against his hip, grinding my rigid length along his heated skin.  “Think that’ll do the trick?”

“Perhaps,” the god teased.

“Well, in that case…you ready for me,” I ground out, my mouth suddenly gone dry as the desert.

“I am _always_ ready for you, my Hawk,” Loki answered, hands rising to grip the back of the couch and steady himself.

I dropped a final kiss to the side of his throat, and then slowly pulled my fingers free of his body, giving a slight twist just to hear Loki’s voice gone ragged with need.  He let out a strained hiss before murmuring, “Please, Clint.  _Now_?”

My only answer was to quickly slick my length and press the blunt head of my cock against my wanton god’s entrance.

“Oh,” Loki whispered.  “Yes.”  And with no further prelude, he rolled his hips, pushing back and taking me deep in one fluid motion.

“God…fucking… _dammit_ , Loki,” I growled, wrapping one arm around his waist to still his movements.  “Slow down.”

“No,” the god panted and rocked back against me, moaning as he took the final few inches of my length.

“What happened to that promise about obedience,” I muttered through clenched teeth.

“In other matters, I shall keep to my word.  But not in this,” he whimpered. “I _need_ you, my Hawk.  I need you to fuck me; hard and fast and deep.  Make me scream out your name in my release.”

I dropped my head to rest between Loki’s shoulder-blades, breathing in his scent.  “You sure about that,” I huffed.  “Not gonna last long if that’s how you want it.”

“There is time enough for long, drawn out trysts,” Loki murmured.  “And we shall spend _days_ without ever leaving your… _our_ …bed.  We will have our fill then, my love.  As for now?”  He paused for a moment before finishing in a low, ragged tone, “Ruin me.”

And goddamned if that mental image combined with the small term of endearment didn’t nearly end me right then and there.  Loki had just put into words everything I’d ever wanted…and everything I was too fucking scared to ever hope to have.

I wanted him.  Wanted _us_. 

And I’d give my god anything he asked for; anything I could offer if only to be gifted with that pleased smile once more.

“You asked for it,” I ground out, fighting past that familiar ache in my throat.  “Just remember that, Princess.”

Loki nodded, slicking his tongue over his lower lip and watching me carefully with wide, emerald eyes.  I unwound my arm from his middle, sliding my hands down to hold him steady as I slowly pulled back.  He whimpered, softly, and then I snapped my hips forward, burying my cock deep as Loki loosed a broken howl.  He bucked, twisting in my grip and begging in a harsh, panting whine.  “More…deeper…please, my Hawk!  _More_!”

I set a brutal pace, holding my position low over Loki’s back and marking the expanse of pale flesh beneath me as I filled the god again and again.  The small noises of need that spilled from his throat urged me on; inspired me.

He wanted to scream?  Then I’d make him.  I’d take him apart; make him come so fucking hard he wouldn’t even remember his own _name_.

Loki arched, throwing his head back and bringing one hand up to grip the nape of my neck.  He circled his hips as I drove deep, feeling his body begin to clench ever tighter around my length.  I buried my face in the crook of his shoulder, hiding a feral grin against his sweat-slicked skin as I thrust faster; harder, my breath coming in ragged gasps.

“You’re getting close,” I growled.

“Y-yes,” he stammered.  “So very close to spilling.  Oh gods, there…- _just_ \- there!”

“Don’t hold back,” I murmured.  “Let me hear you.”

I slid my hand from his hip, gripping his leaking cock tight and stroking in time to my thrusts.  He wailed in response, stiffening as I teased him closer to the edge.  I could feel the tremors rising in his frame; hear the frantic tone in his voice…and I knew I had him right where I wanted.

Nuzzling over his throat, I breathed out, “Come for me, Loki.  Right _fucking_ now.”  And with that, I drove my teeth into his pale flesh, feeling the thunder of his pulse against my tongue.

Loki tipped his head back and screamed, loud and long as he spilled wet heat over my hand.  His body clamped down around me and I bit back a hiss, thrusting once, twice, three times more before I felt the last of my restraint shatter.  With a guttural howl, I was coming, filling my god to overflowing as he bucked and strained beneath me.

I held myself deep, grinding out the dregs of my orgasm as Loki slowly came down.  He slumped beneath me, a panting, boneless mess, and I draped myself over his back, dropping small kisses on his back and licking over the slowly welling bite mark that adorned his shoulder.

“How was that,” I questioned.

He uttered a pleased purr in return before murmuring, “Perfection.  Everything that I needed, my Hawk.”

“Glad to be of service,” I huffed.  “Oh, one last thing, Princess.”

“And what might that be,” he asked.

“Welcome home,” I said softly.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all feedback/comments are appreciated. I live for that.


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